It's starting again...

So as you know there was a christening today that DH and I somehow 'forgot' to be invited to (since no invite has shown as of yet and no one has mentioned it and it was this morning).
Anyway...
DH and I go to his church today. I don't go often but I thought it would be nice for him if I joined him in something that's important to him.... so while we're there they start praying for certain people in the fellowship.
One of the girls who doesn't even go there any more, who JUST got married like 2 months ago and left the church to go to her husband's church is there w/ her new husband and her kids from her previous marriage. The pastor announces that this woman is 'with child' and we should pray for her..... but he just went on and on for what felt like forever, and practically every woman in there, and some men, went running over to her were hugging her and congratulating her....
My Dh looked right at me and already my eyes were filling up w/ tears. I don't know what's wrong w/ me. I'm just starting back up again after a 2 month break- and I completely couldn't handle this at all. Church ended shortly after and I rushed out to our car and cried hysterically in the parking lot for about 10 mins- I could not control myself for anything and DH didn't know what to do w/ me.
We came home and I haven't left my bed since. I just don't want to face the world today. I know how this must sound and I feel like such a terrible person- I should be happy for her, but instead I literally got sick to my stomach. IF stinks!

Re: It's starting again...

You do NOT have to feel obligated to be happy for anyone and you are NOT a terrible person. This is not easy, it is an emotional subject.

You are going through enough and I hope that soon it will be your turn, you deserve it! Maybe this break will give you a fresh start.

Re: It's starting again...

You are NOT a terrible person and I agree with dreambaby...you don't have to be obligated to feel happy for anyone right now. IF is a long emotional stressful ride

Re: It's starting again...

I'll add to the chorus: You are not a terrible person.

I've found it very difficult to go to church for the past several years. It took months of going every week before I was able to attend an entire Mass without crying at some point. For me, it wasn't related to IF specifically, just being in a beautiful place where I could be still and my mind would wander and the tears would start. DH doesn't know what to do with me, though sometimes he's had a tissue in his pocket.

Re: It's starting again...

Thanks everyone. DH and I spent most of the day in but then we went out to dinner w/ my parents, grandma, brother, SIL, neice and nephew. Seeing my neice and nephew always makes me happy.
At one point my neice said "If you guys were my parents...." because we were talking about watching peter pan yesterday (at an event we were at that she was invited to but her parents said no)... and reached up and gave me this HUGE hug and kiss. My heart just melted, and I thought it would hurt to hear but suprisingly it warmed my heart.
Then we went shopping and they have those stupid tv screens in front of the registers and AS SOON as I was next in line it comes on and says "Are you expecting..." and goes on to talk about baby items!!!! DH caught it also and looked at me and half-heartedly laughed for lack of anything else he could do. But all in all it was a good night, and it cheered me up some from my morning.

Message edited 3/9/2008 10:30:20 PM.

Re: It's starting again...

Glad you are feeling a little better tonight.

Re: It's starting again...

Hope you're feeling better today; you're definitely not alone in how you feel. I have been on the verge of tears every day for the last week whenever I see or hear something baby related.

Re: It's starting again...

Glad you are feeling better. I have had moments of this here and there more and more.