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mrswask
Pookie Love
Member since 5/05 20229 total posts
Name:
Michal
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Hysterical Email I Just Got!
DIVORCE LETTER !!
Dear Wife:
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever. I've been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it.
These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today and that was the last straw..
Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had a new haircut, had cooked your favourite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband and wife.
Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone.
Your EX-Husband
P.S.
Don't try to find me. Your SISTER and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Dear Ex-Husband -
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good man is a far cry from what you've been.
I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining and griping. Too bad that doesn't work.
I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the first thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a girl!' Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment.
And when you cooked my favourite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago.
About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the £49.99 price tag was still on them, and I prayed that it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed fifty quid from me that morning.
After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I hit the lottery for ten million pounds, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess.
I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a penny from me. So take care.
Signed,
Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell and Free!
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that's not a problem.
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Posted 2/27/08 5:32 PM  |
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bicosi
life is a carousel
Member since 7/07 14956 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Hysterical Email I Just Got!
LMAO!!!
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| Posted 2/27/08 5:34 PM |
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Re: Hysterical Email I Just Got!
 
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| Posted 2/27/08 5:41 PM |
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headoverheels
s'il vous plaît
Member since 6/07 42079 total posts
Name:
LB
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Re: Hysterical Email I Just Got!
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| Posted 2/27/08 5:43 PM |
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Blu-ize
Plan B is Now Plan A
Member since 7/05 32475 total posts
Name:
Susan
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Re: Hysterical Email I Just Got!
that's great!!!! The ultimate FU
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| Posted 2/27/08 5:48 PM |
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Emily
Kasey & Me! Lurves it!
Member since 7/06 8703 total posts
Name:
STBHC
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Re: Hysterical Email I Just Got!
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| Posted 2/27/08 5:54 PM |
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Kellish
LIF Adult
Member since 10/07 2713 total posts
Name:
LOVE THE LIFE
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Re: Hysterical Email I Just Got!
p.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that's not a problem.
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| Posted 2/27/08 6:47 PM |
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sunny
Life is good!
Member since 5/05 8369 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Hysterical Email I Just Got!
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| Posted 2/27/08 7:57 PM |
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kms717
St Philomena Protect My Son
Member since 2/06 2747 total posts
Name:
Kelly
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Re: Hysterical Email I Just Got!
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| Posted 2/27/08 8:17 PM |
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igottabeme
Its peanut butter jelly time!
Member since 1/08 2340 total posts
Name:
Wouldnt you like to know! ;)
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Re: Hysterical Email I Just Got!
carl!
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| Posted 2/27/08 8:25 PM |
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moonlithaze
LIF Adolescent
Member since 5/06 667 total posts
Name:
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Re: Hysterical Email I Just Got!
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| Posted 2/27/08 8:55 PM |
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Phyl
R.I.P. Sweet Mia ♥
Member since 5/06 28918 total posts
Name:
The Mystical Azzhorse! ™
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Re: Hysterical Email I Just Got!
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| Posted 2/27/08 9:01 PM |
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SUNSHINE
My LuLu <3<3
Member since 5/05 1372 total posts
Name:
T
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Re: Hysterical Email I Just Got!
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| Posted 2/27/08 9:03 PM |
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