Can someone fill me in???

Ok- so DH had this hobby of taking a BRAND NEW truck....and body dropping it and putting some air bag suspension in it... ( like a low rider I guess) he would take it apart (literally just pieces) and rebuild it each year or so...

(This was pre us being engaged...so I didnt care what he did with his money....) However all these "pieces he needed...were put on a credit card...

Needless to say these "pieces werent cheap...and WE"RE paying for them now... It dosent bother me...for when schools finished WE"LL be paying for MY school loans...

What does bother me is : DH decided to give up this hobby and sell the truck..piece by piece...He wont even make back half of what he put in...but he'll make a decent amount back...

Tonight we are talking about $$$$$... and he happens to tell me how much money is in his paypal act. from selling all this stuff... Then makes a remark like thats mine... for me to do whatever I want with..

Now yes.... I feel bad he gave up his "hobby" and its not like I asked him to sell it so we could have some extra cash...but how is it...that Im going back to work...to pay bills ( bills we might not even have...if he didnt have so much debt..) and he goes and makes a few grand....and thats not paying off the debt he acquired???

I just dont get it..??? Now who knows when all is said and done..he may take half for his next project (now he's talking about building a comp.) and the other half to pay bills...but who knows!!!

I just dont get it... I work to pay his bills ...he gts extra money..and its all his... hmmm????



* Im not tried to sound like a spoiled BRAT...he's a great provider...and Im happy Ive had the opportunity to stay out with our Son as long as I have (only 8 weeks were paid) and Im VERY grateful that, I only have to work PT....but things would be alot easier if these credit cards were paid off!

Re: Can someone fill me in???

Mariss - You're right on this one. If you're working to help pay down both of your debts, his surplus should be shared.

My SIL has a similar issue with her DH. All of the wedding money went to pay off his debts. They bought the house. He just got a settlement and is talking about buying a boat for himself.

Re: Can someone fill me in???

I could have written your post word for word. MY DH is EXACTLY like yours. Granted, we both had the hobby of cars, but I gave mine up when we started saving money for the wedding. I have to be fair and say that he kind of gave his up, too, but it changed as soon as the wedding was over. I had to sit down with him and basically talk to him about priorities, and paying off bills. Well, he went and sold his car, and bought a used Tahoe. He has money left over, and all he talks about is what he wants to do to the truck! New exhaust, lowering it, rims/tires...ugh. I could go on and on. I mentioned to him that we are going to be building a house next year, and need as much money as possible, and he gives me a look and basically says that since he owned the car before meeting me, that this is his money, and he can do whatever he wants with it!! :mad

Why is it that we women think about all the responsible things, and most (note I said not all) guys think about their toys??

Re: Can someone fill me in???

Dont get me wrong...our bills are being paid...Dh isnt being irresponsible...for if we needed the money for bills... he would use it...

But it just aggravates me that Im working to pay off his debt...meanwhile he's got a few grand just laying around

Re: Can someone fill me in???

Nope, I understand completely. My DH is also a great provider, but sometimes, I'd just like to know where his head is...lol.

Re: Can someone fill me in???

You are right and I would feel the same way that you do.
When you get married what's his is yours and whats yorus is his. That shouldn't be "his" money. It should be money used to help you pay down your debt so you can be in a better financial position.

Re: Can someone fill me in???

That doesn't make any kind of financial sense whatsoever. You are both now paying interest on money that he borrowed to buy stuff that he is now selling off. Meanwhile, that money sits somewhere not collecting interest. I understand he may want to take up a new hobby, and that he feels like that's his "toy money", fine, but he should pay down his debt first and with the savings from paying off some debt, he should build up a new, interest-free, toy money fund.

Re: Can someone fill me in???

Re: Can someone fill me in???

Posted by Princessmaris

Posted by BabyAvocado
but he should pay down his debt first and with the savings from paying off some debt, he should build up a new, interest-free, toy money fund.

This may very well be what he's doing.....but it dosent look this way....

I feel like I cant even say anything to him, because I never asked him to get rid of his "toy" and I feel he'll look at it.."the bills didnt bother you when I had the truck....why are they only bothering you now..."

I just think men are sooooo stupid!