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LSP2005
Bunny kisses are so cute!
Member since 5/05 19461 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: has anyone ever NOT been invited to a wedding of a close friend?
Posted by MrsR
Posted by LSP2005
Do you think he is abusing her? I ask this because cutting one off from friends is often the first step....
no, I mean not physically at least. (eta: but you know what - I guess I wouldn't really know if he was or not!!)
But I really do believe that he is VERY controlling. He wont let her make ANY decisions. She wants cable - he says no for example. (in which she then said - well I guess if I REALLY wanted it I could pay for it myself). Everything she wants or needs has to go through him and then he calls the shots.
Something seems fishy to me and I don't even know the person. I would reach out to her and tell her you are there for her.
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Posted 1/7/08 2:59 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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Shelly
She's 7!!!
Member since 8/05 14624 total posts
Name:
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Re: has anyone ever NOT been invited to a wedding of a close friend?
This all sounds very fishy to me too. The fact that she doesn't want you at the ceremony, that is what is the most wierd to me.
I would ask her if she is OK and that you are there for her if she needs you. It definitely sounds like something unhealthy is going on.
I would explain to her that you are very hurt because you want to be there on such a special day in her life. That you can't imagine not being there for her on this special day and the fact that she doesn't want you there for her wedding ceremony hurts you and you just don't understand why she doesn't want you there.
My hunch, is that HE doesn't want you there for some reason. Does he get jealous when you spend time with her? Does he feel like you are a "bad influence" on her. Some guys just don't want their wives to have friends (not healthy men, but insecure idiots do).
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| Posted 1/7/08 3:50 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: has anyone ever NOT been invited to a wedding of a close friend?
Posted by LSP2005
Do you think he is abusing her? I ask this because cutting one off from friends is often the first step....
I was thinking the same thing. I feel sorry for her now. I'd want to go shake some sense into my friend & tell her to run, run, run.
I wonder if she'll make it as a bridesmaid in your other friend's wedding.
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| Posted 1/7/08 4:05 PM |
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MrsR
My love.
Member since 5/05 6247 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: has anyone ever NOT been invited to a wedding of a close friend?
Posted by nrthshgrl
Posted by LSP2005
Do you think he is abusing her? I ask this because cutting one off from friends is often the first step....
I was thinking the same thing. I feel sorry for her now. I'd want to go shake some sense into my friend & tell her to run, run, run.
I wonder if she'll make it as a bridesmaid in your other friend's wedding.
well, my friend was REALLY hurt and is thinking about asking her NOT to be a BM afterall...soooo not sure we will ever find out.
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| Posted 1/7/08 4:07 PM |
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Mommy2Boys
My Boys!!!!
Member since 6/06 14437 total posts
Name:
C
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Re: has anyone ever NOT been invited to a wedding of a close friend?
I would be extremely upset with her for making that decision and it would definetely affect our relationship if it were my friend.
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| Posted 1/7/08 4:11 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: has anyone ever NOT been invited to a wedding of a close friend?
Posted by MrsR
well, my friend was REALLY hurt and is thinking about asking her NOT to be a BM afterall...soooo not sure we will ever find out.
If abuse is where this is headed (and the controlling thing does sound as if it is headed there), she's going to need people that will let her walk back into their lives at any point & forgive her for shutting them out - particularly if she needs a way out.
That's definitely an abuse tactic because then the person feels like they have no one to turn to if they want to leave.
Based on what you've said about him, I would keep her in the wedding party if she can do it. I wouldnt' be surprised if the new DH told her she shouldn't be.
Is she close to her family? Parents still around? I don't mean to be an alarmist but I would hate to think of her as having no one to turn to.
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| Posted 1/7/08 4:12 PM |
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QuoteTheRaven424
22 Months?!!!!
Member since 5/05 13659 total posts
Name:
And If That Isn't A True Blue Miracle
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Re: has anyone ever NOT been invited to a wedding of a close friend?
i ask again - you're sure she's actually getting married
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| Posted 1/7/08 4:16 PM |
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MrsR
My love.
Member since 5/05 6247 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: has anyone ever NOT been invited to a wedding of a close friend?
Posted by nrthshgrl
If abuse is where this is headed (and the controlling thing does sound as if it is headed there), she's going to need people that will let her walk back into their lives at any point & forgive her for shutting them out - particularly if she needs a way out.
That's definitely an abuse tactic because then the person feels like they have no one to turn to if they want to leave.
Based on what you've said about him, I would keep her in the wedding party if she can do it. I wouldnt' be surprised if the new DH told her she shouldn't be.
Is she close to her family? Parents still around? I don't mean to be an alarmist but I would hate to think of her as having no one to turn to.
I hear what you are saying. As far as the wedding party - it's really up to my friend, so we'll see what happens with that.
I think you are right though - I do think at some point I will let her know I will always be there if she needs someone...but I guess as a day to day thing I am not sure I can be friends with her like I was before. It would just be fake.
She has her parents and 2 sisters.
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| Posted 1/7/08 4:32 PM |
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MrsR
My love.
Member since 5/05 6247 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: has anyone ever NOT been invited to a wedding of a close friend?
Posted by QuoteTheRaven424
i ask again - you're sure she's actually getting married
yes, I am sure.
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| Posted 1/7/08 4:34 PM |
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QuoteTheRaven424
22 Months?!!!!
Member since 5/05 13659 total posts
Name:
And If That Isn't A True Blue Miracle
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Re: has anyone ever NOT been invited to a wedding of a close friend?
it almost sounds to me like maybe they have decided to just live together and she's embarrassed to say the truth
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| Posted 1/7/08 4:35 PM |
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MrsR
My love.
Member since 5/05 6247 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: has anyone ever NOT been invited to a wedding of a close friend?
Posted by QuoteTheRaven424
it almost sounds to me like maybe they have decided to just live together and she's embarrassed to say the truth
Its funny that you should say that - it took him over 10 months to propose (even though we knew he had the ring) and now 5 months to set a wedding date...sooo hmmmmmmm maybe they aren't getting married?
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| Posted 1/7/08 4:37 PM |
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QuoteTheRaven424
22 Months?!!!!
Member since 5/05 13659 total posts
Name:
And If That Isn't A True Blue Miracle
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Re: has anyone ever NOT been invited to a wedding of a close friend?
Posted by MrsR
Posted by QuoteTheRaven424
it almost sounds to me like maybe they have decided to just live together and she's embarrassed to say the truth
Its funny that you should say that - it took him over 10 months to propose (even though we knew he had the ring) and now 5 months to set a wedding date...sooo hmmmmmmm maybe they aren't getting married?
wouldn't surprise me
perhaps he called off the engagement and said that they'd just live together
she agreed - but is too embarrassed because her friends would judge her
so she's disinviting people to a wedding that isn't happening
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| Posted 1/7/08 4:42 PM |
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Alli06
Baby #3 coming this June
Member since 8/05 6721 total posts
Name:
A
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Re: has anyone ever NOT been invited to a wedding of a close friend?
Something is weird about the whole situation. I would drive to the church the day of the wedding, and make sure she is actually getting married. Don't go in at all, just park and spy.
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| Posted 1/7/08 6:50 PM |
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Beth
The Key to your new home....
Member since 2/06 24849 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: has anyone ever NOT been invited to a wedding of a close friend?
Posted by Alli06
Something is weird about the whole situation. I would drive to the church the day of the wedding, and make sure she is actually getting married. Don't go in at all, just park and spy.
something is fishy for sure
I would do the same thing- I would be so curious!
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| Posted 1/7/08 7:15 PM |
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sunflower13
LIF Infant
Member since 11/07 163 total posts
Name:
Lara
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Re: has anyone ever NOT been invited to a wedding of a close friend?
That is just really WEIRD....I would be hurt too. It definitely seems like something more is going on. How could you not want your best friend at the wedding?? even the ceremony...I hope you find out what is going on. Keep us posted.
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| Posted 1/7/08 7:50 PM |
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MrsR
My love.
Member since 5/05 6247 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: has anyone ever NOT been invited to a wedding of a close friend?
Posted by Beth1210
Posted by Alli06
Something is weird about the whole situation. I would drive to the church the day of the wedding, and make sure she is actually getting married. Don't go in at all, just park and spy.
something is fishy for sure
I would do the same thing- I would be so curious!
I am curious too - but it's 2 hours away!
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| Posted 1/7/08 7:56 PM |
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Salason
♥
Member since 6/05 9878 total posts
Name:
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Re: has anyone ever NOT been invited to a wedding of a close friend?
I had this happen except she didnt say anything, just didnt invite us. We havent spoken since... 
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| Posted 1/7/08 8:04 PM |
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Re: has anyone ever NOT been invited to a wedding of a close friend?
I know people who park and spy and it's just to get a glimpse of what the wedding party is wearing, nothing sketchy like this!
Definitely keep us posted, something is not right with this.........
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| Posted 1/7/08 8:12 PM |
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beena
Sitting on a tree bench!
Member since 5/05 2429 total posts
Name:
Gina
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Re: has anyone ever NOT been invited to a wedding of a close friend?
Posted by MrsR
Posted by Beth1210
Posted by Alli06
Something is weird about the whole situation. I would drive to the church the day of the wedding, and make sure she is actually getting married. Don't go in at all, just park and spy.
something is fishy for sure
I would do the same thing- I would be so curious!
I am curious too - but it's 2 hours away!
So strange! I live two hours off long island. What direction is the ceremony in?  
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| Posted 1/7/08 9:05 PM |
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randella
Love my little man
Member since 8/05 16290 total posts
Name:
Randi
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Re: has anyone ever NOT been invited to a wedding of a close friend?
that is really strange to not want friends at your wedding. I would be very offended.
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| Posted 1/7/08 9:16 PM |
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MrsR
My love.
Member since 5/05 6247 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: has anyone ever NOT been invited to a wedding of a close friend?
Posted by randella
that is really strange to not want friends at your wedding. I would be very offended.
You know her so I am fming you!
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| Posted 1/7/08 9:31 PM |
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Domino
Always My Miracle
Member since 9/05 9924 total posts
Name:
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Re: has anyone ever NOT been invited to a wedding of a close friend?
I would totally drive the two hours and spy....just because I'd NEED to find out the reason
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| Posted 1/7/08 9:39 PM |
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CaseyGirl
Mommy to 3 Boys :)
Member since 5/05 19978 total posts
Name:
Jen - counting my blessings...
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Re: has anyone ever NOT been invited to a wedding of a close friend?
Yes. And it was someone who I introduced to LIW..worked with...etc...I even helped her and her DH pick their wedding date...had them over for dinner, hung out...wasn't invited. Guess we were never really friends! Oh well. True colors....
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| Posted 1/7/08 10:23 PM |
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watersdeb04
Back to school is here
Member since 12/07 1052 total posts
Name:
Deb
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Re: has anyone ever NOT been invited to a wedding of a close friend?
I know a girl that got married and no one knew about it until she sent wedding announcements. None of us even knew she was dating anyone. It seemed completely out of the blue.
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| Posted 1/8/08 8:40 AM |
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