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KarenAnthony
Baby Girl Coming in May!!!
Member since 10/07 3031 total posts
Name:
Karen
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Question
My BEST friend is having a problem getting pregnant. I dreaded telling her when i became pregnant...Long story short, she has not seen me since i told her i got pregnant....she says its too difficult. But, its been about 4 months already. Is this normal? She does send an occasional email. Keep in mind this was my maid of honor, and my very best friend since 1st grade. We used to see eachother about once a week. I miss my friend, its like she vanished.
I feel like i'm waiting for her to get a positive test result before we can be friends again, and that part kind of upsets me.
Anyone else go through this?
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Posted 1/3/08 10:10 AM  |
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Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
eroxgirl
My Loves
Member since 5/05 15697 total posts
Name:
Rebecca
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Re: Question
People dealing with IF issues suffer a lot of pain. Is it normal? I don't know, I'm lucky enough not to know what that's like. It's a really difficult position because you're in such a different place from her right now and of course you'd want your BF to be there for you but she probably just can't handle it emotionally. I'm sure she wants to be there for you too, but you're a reminder of what she can't have right now.
I've seen something like this happen with friends before and neither one of them would understand the other's position. One was in so much pain from what she lost (in that case) and the other was hurt and didn't understand why her friend couldn't put her feelings aside to share in the joy of the baby to come.
It's one of those things where there is no right and wrong IMO. It stinks, but I'm sure your friend will come around eventually. It just may take a while longer than you think. 
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| Posted 1/3/08 10:20 AM |
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LovingLife
Blessed
Member since 8/06 2818 total posts
Name:
Blessed
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Re: Question
Posted by eroxgirl
People dealing with IF issues suffer a lot of pain. Is it normal? I don't know, I'm lucky enough not to know what that's like. It's a really difficult position because you're in such a different place from her right now and of course you'd want your BF to be there for you but she probably just can't handle it emotionally. I'm sure she wants to be there for you too, but you're a reminder of what she can't have right now.
I've seen something like this happen with friends before and neither one of them would understand the other's position. One was in so much pain from what she lost (in that case) and the other was hurt and didn't understand why her friend couldn't put her feelings aside to share in the joy of the baby to come.
It's one of those things where there is no right and wrong IMO. It stinks, but I'm sure your friend will come around eventually. It just may take a while longer than you think.
I completely agree....
I have a friend that has been trying for 6 years...4 failed IVFs and the last one being the last one the doctor's would attempt..she is going through so much pain and there is no way I can say I know how she feels...she is very distant with me and I filter what I share with her because I know it brings her pain... I know she is happy for me but it doesn't change the way she feels about her situation. So I don't take it personal...does it hurt that she is not part of my life the way I always thought she would be...YES...but I love her and because I do..I put aside my feelings and try to understand.
HTH
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| Posted 1/3/08 10:24 AM |
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mikeswife06
Drama Momma
Member since 9/06 9947 total posts
Name:
Anne
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Re: Question
Posted by eroxgirl
People dealing with IF issues suffer a lot of pain. Is it normal? I don't know, I'm lucky enough not to know what that's like. It's a really difficult position because you're in such a different place from her right now and of course you'd want your BF to be there for you but she probably just can't handle it emotionally. I'm sure she wants to be there for you too, but you're a reminder of what she can't have right now.
I've seen something like this happen with friends before and neither one of them would understand the other's position. One was in so much pain from what she lost (in that case) and the other was hurt and didn't understand why her friend couldn't put her feelings aside to share in the joy of the baby to come.
It's one of those things where there is no right and wrong IMO. It stinks, but I'm sure your friend will come around eventually. It just may take a while longer than you think.
ITA with all of this. As someone who suffered tremendously when I had a m/c at 12 weeks I found it very hard to deal with other's pregnancies. I had to go to one friend's baby shower 2 weeks later and my other friend became pregnant about a month later.
I was able to seperate what I had been through from them but it was hard. Everyone is different and I am sure it hurts on both sides for you guys. I am sorry your friendship is suffering. Hopefully she will come around by the time you have your little one. My advice is to just be sensitive of her feelings, maybe focus more on other things going on in your lives. I hope she gets a BFP so you guys can be expecting together.
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| Posted 1/3/08 10:27 AM |
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