Grandparents and Daycare Poll

How do you feel about paying Grandparents. One is SAHM who never went back to work, the other is retired.

This would be a fixed (and expected) stipend - not $ to buy food and go places.

They would work 2 days per week, 7:30 - 5:30.

Re: Grandparents and Daycare Poll

My SMIL was going to watch DS for us before we moved and we were going to pay her. My parents paid my great aunt and uncle to watch me when I was a baby as well.

My mom pointed out to me that if you are paying someone then it becomes a job and not just fun and then they can't bail so easily.

Re: Grandparents and Daycare Poll

I asked my mom if she may be willing to help out once a week or once every other week... I think it will help our child bond with my parents... but even though we didn't talk about it, I'd offer something... maybe not as much as the nanny, but a few bucks and I'll buy dinner the nights they watch baby. I wish my mom was close enough and feeling well enough to be my f/t babysitter. I'd pay her and everything, but I know it's not practical.

Re: Grandparents and Daycare Poll

My mom and MIL will be watching the baby full time for us.

I will stock the house with food and drinks that they like, so they don't have to bring anything. I am also getting each of them a car seat base for their cars, so they can take the baby out.

I'm not going to pay them, but both moms will be spoiled with gifts from the baby...

Re: Grandparents and Daycare Poll

Re: Grandparents and Daycare Poll

We don't have any family near us so we haven't actually had the conversation. But, we did consider asking a friend that is a SAHM. We plan to pay her if we ask.

I would pay my Mom or MIL though. Its a big time committment and a lot of work! I would pay less than a Nanny but would definitely pay!

Re: Grandparents and Daycare Poll

I think that you should offer, especially if it's FT. If they won't take money then I would bring donuts and/or provide milk, juice, babyfood, formula - everything.

My MIL watched DS two days a week and we don't pay them - they wouldn't take it anyway. But, forx-mas we're getting them a HUGE present and I try to be the best DIL possible.

My MIL loves having DS and my niece. She loves the relationship building and really enjoys having the kids around. My FIL is there as well which is really nice.

Re: Grandparents and Daycare Poll

I say it depends on the Grandparents. My mom would never take money to babysit, but when i go back to work full time, if i am making enough to have her fulltime, then i would pay her because she would not be able to work.

But if she was retired, i would not pay her

Re: Grandparents and Daycare Poll

I don't have a problem with paying grandparents. If my parents or my in-laws were going to watch my baby which they are not but if they were I would definitely pay them or at least offer it but I know both sets of parents would never take $ from my DH and I.

Re: Grandparents and Daycare Poll

My parents will be watching DD 3 days a week when I go back to work, if they don't accept money, I am going to get them gift cards, either for restaurants or grocery store.

Re: Grandparents and Daycare Poll

Re: Grandparents and Daycare Poll

I am torn on this issue. My mil offered to watch DD full time for nothing. I turned her down. Why? Becasue physically she cannot care for her. And I don't need her hanging it over my head for the rest of my life. And honestly, she cannot afford to quit her job to watch DD all day or for a half day.

I know that my parents will watch and have watched my nephew for nothing. On a Saturday or a Sunday for a few hours. I know they will do the same for us. I wanted to add that my MIL always says "babysitting is free." like we are so lucky to have her offer. I feel like if she watches her granddaughter for a few hours, she should do it b/c she loves her, not to try to make a few bucks.

Message edited 12/16/2007 5:25:45 PM.

Re: Grandparents and Daycare Poll

I think if you are expecting them to work set hours, every week, it is a job and their time is worth paying for. For occasionally helping out, I don't think it is necessary to pay.

Re: Grandparents and Daycare Poll

I think the offer should be made, but they should not be paid, or expect to be paid, the same as you would pay daycare. They are not licensed, professional daycare providers who will be giving your child projects and learning experiences. They are grandmas who are helping out. I personally have both my mother a nd my MIL watch DS 2 afternoons a week and neither of them get paid, though I do supply everything they need and give generous gifts around the holidays.

Re: Grandparents and Daycare Poll

My parents will be watching the baby 2 days a week. I am going to offer, I doubt they will take it, but I still want to offer.

Re: Grandparents and Daycare Poll

My mom started watching DS 2 weeks ago when I went back to work. She is watching him full time, M-F.

I tried to give her a check after the first week and she got mad at me. Her opinion is that she is watching Lucas so that we can save money for a little while.

So, instead we will be paying for her gas, having foods at our house that she likes and I will try to get her things that she needs.

I would love to pay her more but she won't have it! We are extremely lucky.