Spinoff to Girls who have a sister...

I was reading the thread about sisters and saw that so many of you have wonderful relationships with your sisters. I do not have those feelings toward my sister, I have tried, but our relationship is strained. Anybody have the same situation?

Re: Spinoff to Girls who have a sister...

I have two and we have our challenges. They have always been closer with each other than they are to me and that has been a source of jealousy for me for many years.

I go through periods where I try to make things better but in the end, I seem to be the only one trying. Then there is the problem that sometimes I think the only thing we have in common is that we both love their children.

It's complicated. Family... what can you do?

Re: Spinoff to Girls who have a sister...

i have 2 sisters... both of whom i was never that close with when we were teenagers.... we were so very different in terms of interests and people that we hung out with. my younger sister and i have gotten much closer as we've gotten older and now hang out together a lot and are good friends. my older sister and i have a strained relationship... i love her to pieces, but she suffers from a mental illness and that makes it very hard to not to lose patience with her.... sometimes i forget its her illness and not her that i can't stand sometimes. i wish we could be closer.

Re: Spinoff to Girls who have a sister...

Yes. I haven't seen her in months and she lives 20 minutes away. I admit I don't really try but neither does she. In the past month I've invited her over 2 times. One time she declined and I'm waiting for a response to the second invitation, which I know she will decline. She has a strained relationship with my parents as well. I won't go into detail b/c I'd be here all night and it'll make me sad.

I didn't even read to the responses to the sister thread b/c that'd make me sad, too.

I know how you feel.

ETA: typos

Message edited 11/29/2007 7:44:45 PM.

Re: Spinoff to Girls who have a sister...

Message edited 11/29/2007 7:09:39 PM.

Re: Spinoff to Girls who have a sister...

It made me a bit sad too. My sister is three years older and we just have always been as different as night and day. It has gotten a bit better as we've gotten older, but there are 10 friends I would probably call before reaching out to her when there is something going on in my life. I wish things were different - she is so private and it makes things really hard. I am closer to my brother but he is a flake so that is tough too!

Re: Spinoff to Girls who have a sister...

Posted by Katie111806

It made me a bit sad too. My sister is three years older and we just have always been as different as night and day. It has gotten a bit better as we've gotten older, but there are 10 friends I would probably call before reaching out to her when there is something going on in my life. I wish things were different - she is so private and it makes things really hard. I am closer to my brother but he is a flake so that is tough too!

Re: Spinoff to Girls who have a sister...

I don't have a Sister, but DH has two...sometimes believe it or not I actually FORGET that he has two.
One he is super close with the other....well, like I said I forget she's his Sister. Oddly enough she's distant from the entire family.

Re: Spinoff to Girls who have a sister...

Me and my sister are not BFF and never will be. we get along ok, I think its because we both have kids.

we fought like cats and dogs growing up and we still have the occassional fight.

And its mostly her calling me to tell me what I'm doing wrong and how I should be doing things. Really. This is just the way she is. I ignore her 99% of the time.

Re: Spinoff to Girls who have a sister...

Posted by MrsFlatbread

I was reading the thread about sisters and saw that so many of you have wonderful relationships with your sisters. I do not have those feelings toward my sister, I have tried, but our relationship is strained. Anybody have the same situation?

Re: Spinoff to Girls who have a sister...

I have a sister but we aren't especially close. She is closer with my brother since they both still live at home and I was the only one who went away to college.

Re: Spinoff to Girls who have a sister...

I have 3 sisters. I get along amazingly with 2 of them. We're pretty close... but not in the conventional sense. The 3 of us are always there for each other and are very supportive. The other sister has a lot of issues and has basically alienated herself from the 3 of us. Of course she doesn't see it this way. We've tried to talk to her but it doesn't work. So we basically just put up with her but don't tell her anything real.

Re: Spinoff to Girls who have a sister...

I have a very strained relationship with my sister. But she has a strained relationship with everyone. She has a life long struggle with mental illness and make it very hard to be around her. We see each other several times a week and do make efforts to hang out special every once in a while (we specify that this will be a no fight day and make most topics off limits) most of the time we can only spend short spurts together and then we want to kill each other. I know I should be more understanding and I try but I have dealt with a lot of craiziness with her my whole life and there is SOOO much resentment for the positions she put me in and her inability to even admit that most of the stuff happened. She will tell me that I made it all up... Umm nooo..

My mom is a twin and is so close to her sister. I wish I had that.

But I have my friend Lisa who is just like a sister!!!

Re: Spinoff to Girls who have a sister...

Re: Spinoff to Girls who have a sister...

Message edited 11/15/2011 9:10:55 AM.

Re: Spinoff to Girls who have a sister...

I have 2 sisters. One is totally estranged (due to her own stupidity). She is also younger by 11 years so maturity has been an issue with her. The other one.... we are only 15 months apart and everybody thinks we should be best friends. We have fought our entire life (welll, up to early 20's). We have NOTHING in common. Actually if we were not sisters, we would have never talked to each other. This is how different we are. Totally different personality, goals in life, taste, etc... We talk (we don't fight anymore!!!) but it's really "fake".

Re: Spinoff to Girls who have a sister...

Sibling relationships can be odd... sometimes you take them for granted 'cus you khow they'll always be there for you.

I have 3 sisters and 2 brothers and am afraid that if we weren't related we won't be best friends. We're just too different.

I also feel that how close you are to your siblings depends on how your parents raise you. If they often say things like 'well your sister could do it, why can't you?!' it will not exactly be conducive to your relaltionship.

However, if they aren't the best parents, you tend to be closer to your sibling since you have to rely more on each other.

Re: Spinoff to Girls who have a sister...

I haven't spoken to my twin in about a year & a half. I thought we had a good relationship before all hell broke loose over something her husband did but her actions have proven differently.

I deserve better treatment after what her POS DH did. My feeling is if someone doesn't treat me nicely, why would I want them in my life?

Re: Spinoff to Girls who have a sister...

Posted by MrsFlatbread

Posted by Katie111806

It made me a bit sad too. My sister is three years older and we just have always been as different as night and day. It has gotten a bit better as we've gotten older, but there are 10 friends I would probably call before reaching out to her when there is something going on in my life. I wish things were different - she is so private and it makes things really hard. I am closer to my brother but he is a flake so that is tough too!

OMG..I could have written this myself...even the brother part!!! I feel like my sis and I, she is five years older, come from two different worlds. I always come off to her like I am better than her, but I cannot stand her judgement sometimes, she is just so stupid most of the time. It puts tension on my family because of our inability to get along. Sometimes I feel its better for my own sanity to just cut ties completely. I wish I didn't feel this way but I cannot help it.

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I completely agree with you, my relationship with my sister has always been strained. Even when we were growing up we would always have a different view on everything. I have tried for so many years to get along but nothing works. While my DH and I are trying to prepare for our future, she is currently preggers with a married man's child. I have had enough, I'm sure the holidays will be another mess...sorry just had to vent....

Re: Spinoff to Girls who have a sister...

i feel the same way about my older brother... there's a very large part of me that wants to write him off completely... and it breaks my heart.

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I have a horrible relationship with my sister. We don't speak...I have no desire to be her friend or even friendly towards her. We just don't get along and it used to bother me but now I just go on with life.