it doesn't end....

remember that "geez" post?????

First off, DH and I have been trying for 1 1/2 years to have a baby. Not very successful with injections, incemination, fertility pills,etc....
I have a cousin, young, immature, a disaster of a bf (LONGGG STORY..drug addicted, abusive, dirtbag)...she is currently living in a safe house with her 6 month old baby.

There was a brief moment a few weeks ago, where there was a possibility she was deciding if she could take care of her first baby and was possibly considering asking DH and I to take her. my DH and I agreed we would take that baby and we were so excited. then she decided to keep the baby and as long as they are safe and well that is all i care. but it was an emotional week to say the least.

I got a phone call yesterday from my cousin. She is pregnant. She says she cannot keep this baby, she KNOWS she cannot take care of two babies. The other baby is only 6 months old. My cousin is 3 months pregnant and due May 18. SHE has asked for my DH and I to adopt this new baby once he/she is born.
But now this is a totally new scenario.
We start IVF treatment next month. What if i DO get pregnant, how can i manage 2 possibly 3 babies that close in age. Its not even like twins because this baby will be 3 months older than ours would be. And financially i HAVE TO work. And we cant wait on IVF b/c my DH benefits CONSTANTLY change and RIGHT NOW it is covered, but last year wasn't...so we cant give up that opportunity for IVF...but how do i say no to a baby...it's not in me..i dont know what to do.
I know it is our decision, but i am a wreck!
i can't say no, but i know we cant afford a chance of 3 babies all at once, two would be pushing it too.

Re: it doesn't end....

I would absolutely proceed with IVF, especially since it is covered by insurance. I wouldn't change my plans for someone I know is a flake and risk ending up with no babies at the end of the day. You can make it work no matter what. Good luck.

Re: it doesn't end....

You have FM

Re: it doesn't end....

No way would I change my plans for IVF... she has already changed her mind once (just picture she gives you the new born and two years later she wants the kids back, talk about heatbreaking) and you need to live your life.. I read your original story and I just have to say this has DISASTER written all over it... If I were you I would just plan on having my own family and leave her to handle her problems, she got her self into them it isn't your responsibility to get her out.

Re: it doesn't end....

i appreciate everyone's help.
DH says NOOO WAY are we putting off all we have done to get this far for IVF ( which i agree) Icould care less honestly about my cousin's problems...she gets herself into them. Its those poor babies my heart goes out too.

I just needed to vent out and hear what others had to say if they were in my shoes.

thank you all.