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luvsun27
Check out my cool glasses
Member since 5/05 8135 total posts
Name:
Kim
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Relocating OOS
For those of you that relocated OOS...how did you decide that it was the thing to do? Where to go? Did you move away from family or towards family?
DH is desparate to leave the northeast area...I don't want to leave my family (who are on LI, while we are in NJ). I know in a logical sense he is right...we can have a nicer/bigger house, cost of living is less, etc. But...I would miss seeing my family and having my family see DD grow-up. I have told him that while my brain thinks he is right..my heart just can't make the move.
For those of you that don't live near any family...how do you deal with all of these things?
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Posted 10/29/07 8:24 PM  |
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Whamtastic
LIF Adult
Member since 1/07 997 total posts
Name:
Big Fat Baby with a Blackberry
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Re: Relocating OOS
I moved to be with DH. He moved for his career and moving ended up being a great move for my career (in addition to being a great move for our relationship).
We live far away from our families and it's not great - I wish we lived closer so I could see our nephew grow up and I know it will kill me when we have a baby to have him or her not have grandparents around all the time. You have to do what feels right for you, your DH and your child (and any children you might have in the future). Good luck!
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| Posted 10/29/07 8:31 PM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: Relocating OOS
We moved away(NC, all my family is in NY)....it is hard. Really hard.
I am okay, I made the choice to be a SAHM and to be fair financially to DH, I agreed to the move.
Its not uncommon for my mother to spend her nights crying for my baby. she can't handle it at all. She prays that we move back, but she knows this has to be.
So for me it was either be with my baby fulltime or be with my baby and family parttime...
I did not move for a big house, we actually rent and will never get a big house, its not us.
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| Posted 10/29/07 9:25 PM |
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NYtoBoston
LIF Infant
Member since 5/05 180 total posts
Name:
Colleen
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Re: Relocating OOS
As you can tell from my screenname, I moved from NY to Boston. I do not have any family in MA and it is hard at times. I have made friends up here, but there are times that I really miss my family and LI.
We just had a son in August and I would really love to have my family closer to see him grow up. But they visit and make the most of the time they have with him when they see him.
You have to do what is right for you and DH.
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| Posted 10/29/07 10:20 PM |
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Re: Relocating OOS
We are making the move this week. Its important to us both that I be a sahm, and moving out of state will allow me to do so. We bought a really large house, in a fantastic neighborhood, and can even afford private school, we could never do that on LI. Here we had a tiny house in a not so hot neighborhood, with a horrific sd.
Family will be there, they can come visit, you can visit them, they are not going to miss out on your childs life.
You have to do what is best for you and your family. If there is a better way of life, why not live it?
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| Posted 10/29/07 10:27 PM |
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Anniegrl
I'm two!
Member since 5/05 4320 total posts
Name:
Ann
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Re: Relocating OOS
We moved to CO last February from Northern VA. VA was ok as far as getting home to see family, but DH and I hated living there. We transferred out here with our company.
As much as we love it here, I won't lie; it's been really hard being so far from family. We're actually considering moving back east within the next few years, although not to NY. We're thinking about PA. DH and I want Jackson to grow up with his cousins, just like we both did. Both our families can't afford to fly out here more than once a year, and we just dropped over $2000 in airline tickets to fly home for both Thanksgiving and Christmas. It'll be even more expensive next year when Jackson is 2 years old and we'll have to buy him a ticket too 
If you can move somewhere that's within a couple to a few hours' drive, would that be ok? When DH and I lived in VA, it was no more than a 6 hour drive to NY which wasn't bad at all.
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| Posted 10/29/07 11:24 PM |
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JessInCA
live laugh love
Member since 8/06 5082 total posts
Name:
Jess
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Re: Relocating OOS
I moved away from family to be with my FH (now DH). He was in the military, so he had no choice about where he was stationed, and it happened to be across the country. I decided it was worth a shot, so I moved here to see how I liked it, if I could get a job, etc. When he got out a few years later, we decided to stay, at least for a while.
Posted by luvsun27
For those of you that don't live near any family...how do you deal with all of these things?
You just... do. It's sad sometimes, not being near your family and seeing them as often as you'd like, and it's not as easy to find people to watch your kids, and it costs more money when you do go back to visit.
But you adjust, and it gets easier as you get used to it. You send photos and emails and videos and make phonecalls often to keep in touch, so it doesn't feel like your family's not a part of your life at all. After a while, you make friends in your new town that are like a little surrogate family. And I've found that I really appreciate the times I spend with my family a whole lot more, now that they're not so convenient to see. I have a much better relationship with my parents than I used to - we don't annoy each other nearly as much since I don't have to deal with them (and vice versa) ALL the time.
In my case, I had family follow me out here. My brother moved a couple hours away about a year after I did, which I never expected. Now, since both of us are here, my parents might consider retiring here. And other family members and friends have since moved off the island to other areas, so if I had stayed there, my parents would really be all that's left. I couldn't have predicted it when I chose to move, but that's the way it worked out for me.
Also, if you move somewhere and give it a good shot (few years), and really, really still miss NY that much... you CAN always move back. It's a pain, but you can. I tell myself that sometimes about moving back to the east coast when I start missing the change of seasons, or am dreading a 5 hour flight instead of a few hours drive, and it makes me feel better - as thought my decision isn't so "final", even though I've been here 5 years already and we're looking to buy a new house!
Good luck making a decision that works for you.
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| Posted 10/30/07 12:01 PM |
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evnme
My little lamb
Member since 8/05 12633 total posts
Name:
aka momma2b
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Re: Relocating OOS
we moved to NJ from LI b/c of a job opportunity for me.
it's a bit lonely, but family is less than 2 hours away and we see our families 1x per month or so.
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| Posted 10/30/07 12:03 PM |
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WoodIAm
My Boys!
Member since 5/05 5498 total posts
Name:
JoAnne
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Re: Relocating OOS
We'll be moving to CT this winter. DH transferred over there. It's no too far, but I'm still a wreck over leaving my family and home town.
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| Posted 10/30/07 12:12 PM |
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luvsun27
Check out my cool glasses
Member since 5/05 8135 total posts
Name:
Kim
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Re: Relocating OOS
Thanks everyone. We are just over an hour away from my family now...I see them about 2x/month...sometimes more, sometimes less, depends on what is going on.
It's just so hard to make a decision either way...
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| Posted 10/30/07 12:17 PM |
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Katie111806
Team Pink!
Member since 12/06 5349 total posts
Name:
Katie
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Re: Relocating OOS
Posted by WoodIAm
We'll be moving to CT this winter. DH transferred over there. It's no too far, but I'm still a wreck over leaving my family and home town.
Where in CT?
We made the move to CT in the summer. It has been tough because I am currently working from home so haven't really had the opportunity to meet people and I'm a little lonely, but I know living here will allow us to get a house sooner, and my chances are much better of being a SAHM when the time comes.
Not to mention it is beautiful here and the quality of life is great!!!!
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| Posted 10/30/07 12:28 PM |
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pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Relocating OOS
dh and I (he was my boyfriend at the time) moved to Charlotte in June of 2004. We did it so that we could have a better life, we could NOT afford to live on long island
His parents and sister followed us to NC about 2 years later and my mom now lives in GA (4 hours away)
My dad, stepmom, brother, 2 sisters and BIL are all in NY and I really miss them but I do not regret our decision....we love it here in NC
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| Posted 10/30/07 12:29 PM |
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