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I just found this - something I posted while I was pregnant...
I figured I would repost - I am amazed at how much insight I already had a month before Cailen was born - figured I'd share it with the current preggos! 
These are some things I have learned along the way. Maybe people have kids because they feel their relationships are lacking in some way, or they need a new hobby. Maybe they feel their relationships are strong enough and they are ready to have a baby. But babies grow into kids. Its a novelty being pregnant and having a baby, but the decisions you make affect a person for the rest of their lives....
I just want to share a few thoughts - we can call it "What I have learned so far at 9 mts of pregnancy"
- Thinking about having a child and actually having a child are 2 separate things.
- Nothing tests your relationship more than being pregnant together. But it doesn't happen right away. At 1st comes the shock, and the elation and the joy. If you are lucky. Or, someone will freak out and question what the hell just happened.
- Nothing magnifies deficits in your relationship than being pregnant together. If it is not strong before the blue line, it won't get any stronger after, unless you work hard on it. And at that point, you already have so much work to do, that it can be exhausting. So, the commitment begins way before the baby is born. At the same time, it could be a great time to fix things you never knew were broken.... And you are that much more stronger before the baby is born...
- Be prepared to discuss everything. Family traditions, religion, how often grandma will come and visit. Vaccinations. What the kid will eat. Discuss family dynamics, and who will be allowed to do what. Early on. because no matter how much you and DH gel, you will be shocked at how different your perspectives are when you bring another person into the mix that you are both responsible for. It can cause resentment and that feeling again of "good god, what did I do?" - that feeling won't go away unless you talk it to death and come up with some compromise. Before the baby is born.
- Your sex life will take on many different evolutions. Be prepared to evolve with it, or things will go sour really quick. Thats when you look at couples and wonder how they ever had sex to make that baby. Don't let that happen to you.
- Being pregnant together is no time to ignore or brush issues under the rug, because they fester quickly.... This is the time to talk things out, because no one will be able to do it with a screaming baby interrupting every 2 seconds.
- Think of how screwed up you are, and why. Think about that now, so you can best be prepared to avoid that happening to your kid. And then realize that your kid will probably still hate you and have issues with you no matter what you do.
- Having a baby is the scariest and most thrilling thing (well, so far being pregnant has been.) You will think more than you ever have, and your brain will hurt on a regular basis. But keep thinking.
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Re: I just found this - something I posted while I was pregnant...
this is great advice... we will probably be TTC in the near future, and it's great to have some insight from a knowledgeable source! you should post this on the TTC boards
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