It's been one of those days...

seeing that it's a week for pity parties- I've decided that I've jumped on the bandwagon and am throwing my own. You're all invited!!!
DH and i just got back from my DB and SILs house and we saw my adorable neice and nephew. They're both so perfect and they LOVE being with us and I LOVE watching DH with them. The 3 of them just kept rolling their heads back with laughter and my eyes kept filling up with tears... even though I was smiling I wanted to rip my heart out and scream why can't we have this already?!?!?!?! Don't we deserve this? We'd be such amazing parents!!!
We have family members that became moms long before they ever should have- and i know I'd be a great mom and DH would be a great dad.
They took a laundry basket and the 2 kids got in (they're 4 and 1 1/2) and DH was sliding them around the room and then pushing it along the floor and they all just laughed and laughed. I thought it would do me good to see them tonight- but I feel like I'm failing as an aunt b/c it's too hard for me to jump in and play--- I just keep thinking how much we want this.
Sorry, I know I'm like the most depressing person today and I usually try to keep my chin up but lately, it's just too hard to.
I am going to go and take a hot bath and try to figure this all out. I told my mom, in between hysterics, that if it didn't happen next month that I was done because it hurt too much. She sounded surprised. I think I was too- but I'm hoping I'll get my second wind to keep trekking along. Thanks for your support everyone.

Message edited 9/28/2007 11:14:10 PM.

Re: It's been one of those days...

Sorry to hear you're feeling down. I know EXACTLY how you feel. I am in the same boat. I love, love, love my friends babies and I adore seeing them and spending time with them but it's hard because all I think about is how great I would be at it too and why getting pregnant was so easy for them but for me it's been such an adventure. You want to be happy for the people around you and you are deep down but it does hurt and make you sad. It's just hard to see other people with the things you want the most in life but are struggling to have. I know it's frustrating but you have to remember there is a reason you're putting yourself through all of this and hopefully at the end of the tunnel you'll have a baby of your own in your arms and it will all have been worth it! Try and cheer up!! Lots of baby dust to you.....your time will come as will mine, we just have to stay positive even when things seem bleak!!

Re: It's been one of those days...

I completely understand. Just try and remember your time will come, it's the only thing that gets me through the difficult days