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jxnoscar
Baby Delicious!
Member since 8/06 4156 total posts
Name:
Nancy
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Re: Do you think society looks down on women who want to keep working fulltime after having kids?
Boy do I hate hate this question.
When I was single getting my Masters in Womens Studies, I was 100% against staying at home.
Now as the subject of family gets brought up more and more by my husband, I feel like I would want to stay home or work part time.
I am unsure if we can financially do this.
Furthermore, no book is going to tell me that if I stay home my husband is going to leave me. That is ridiculous.
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Posted 7/16/07 10:37 AM  |
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Chrisnamy
Summer is coming soon
Member since 1/07 3991 total posts
Name:
Amy
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Re: Do you think society looks down on women who want to keep working fulltime after having kids?
no..i don't think people look down at you if you want to work!
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| Posted 7/16/07 10:40 AM |
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JRG71
*****************
Member since 5/05 5025 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do you think society looks down on women who want to keep working fulltime after having kids?
Posted by WhatNow
Society-shmeciety, I work to pay bills! Period. Judge me all you want! 
Amen!! 
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| Posted 7/16/07 10:52 AM |
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jellybean78
:)
Member since 8/06 13103 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: Do you think society looks down on women who want to keep working fulltime after having kids?
I think there are always going to be people who judge wheter or not you work or you are a SAHM. Honestly...everyone has different situations...for me I need to and also want to come back to work after I give birth...however my friend is pregnant and she's quitting for good. I don't look down on her and she doesn't look down on me. Financially we both have similar situations but I'm doing what I feel is right for my family and she's doing what is right for hers. I poo poo the people who look down on SAHM and working mom's....I say mind your business...unless it's your family you have no say!
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| Posted 7/16/07 12:18 PM |
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saraH
happy birthday sweet kate!
Member since 5/05 16555 total posts
Name:
I know that God exsists, I held her in my arms...
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Re: Do you think society looks down on women who want to keep working fulltime after having kids?
I plan on staying home with my baby. ME, no one else, and I don't judge those that work. So yes, I think people will look down on both the SAHM's and the working moms. You have to do what is best for you, not what some dumb azz book says.
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| Posted 7/16/07 12:25 PM |
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mitabtrfly
Member since 12/06 2770 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do you think society looks down on women who want to keep working fulltime after having kids?
Unfortunately it is true..they do..and a lot of people are VERY judgemental in this world. The way I see it, in this day and age with everything being so expensive, MOST women need to work and there is NOTHING wrong with that.
If you can stay home, and that floats your boat...more power to you. But I know for sure I'll be back at work FULL time after she is born.
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| Posted 7/16/07 12:28 PM |
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dandr10199
Grace is growing up too fast!
Member since 10/05 11561 total posts
Name:
Dina
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Re: Do you think society looks down on women who want to keep working fulltime after having kids?
Posted by racheeeee
I think a bit more of the opposite, I think a lot of people think that women who stay home after having children are more looked down upon. I think that society (at least the one that I live in) feel that its a waste of an education, and many people feel How could an educated, smart person feel fulfilled by staying home with their children.
I thinkin society, as a woman, you are very often damned if you do, damned if you don't!!
Well said and I agree. 
I chose to work P/T, gave up a full time job in the city (and my full time paycheck) in order to be home on Mondays and Fridays with our DD. My mother is ill and cannot watch her and my MIL works full time. All other family works full time so daycare is our ONLY option.
My job pays for wants, not necessities (i.e.: an extra used car, and extra trip to visit SIL in Hawaii this year, and extra pair of shoes). I have my own bank account, my own SEP IRA, and a few my own investments. I love that a portion of our money is mine and only in my name. I saw my mother get divorced after 25 years of marriage and had NOTHING in her own name. This was a HUGE mistake on her part and DH knows how important this is to me.
I feel that A LOT of women look down on me for making a CHOICE to forgo new cars, an expensive home, shopping sprees, going out to dinner, etc. I did all of that while I was single and when we were married without kids (for six years). I have been in both places so to speak. I feel that what I sacrificed in dinners out, expensive bags, shoes, clothes, etc.; I gained in joy just by being my DD's mom. It is hard to explain if you do not have children. When/ if you decide to you will see what I mean. All that material stuff doesn't matter much anymore. I mean, I still love that stuff and when I get a gift to get a massage or a nice bag, I don't turn it away.  I just mean that you re-organize your life to accommodate your child, because of the enormous love you feel for them. You question "do I really need this? When this $$ can go towards her college? or towards me cutting my hours back to be with her?" At least, this is what I asked myself.
Every woman needs to do what is right for her family. A close friend of mine makes more $$ than her DH and he works P/T so he can be with the kids more. It works for them and they are very happy.
My long drawn out point is, you will figure it out when you get there. HTH 
Message edited 7/16/2007 12:49:51 PM.
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| Posted 7/16/07 12:33 PM |
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leighla
Support Cancer Research
Member since 5/05 16353 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: Do you think society looks down on women who want to keep working fulltime after having kids?
I see both sides being looked down upon.
I would say the reaction I get when I tell people I'm going back full time is 50-50.
Half of them look at my with pity and ask isn't there some way I can make it work financially. And I feel like they expect me to justify my living expenses.
The other half look at me with sort of a warped pride/expectency. Like, of course you are going back to work - your brain would rot otherwise.
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| Posted 7/16/07 12:48 PM |
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MrsNaunie
Kai helps my father dump out.
Member since 9/06 1181 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: Do you think society looks down on women who want to keep working fulltime after having kids?
Not really- but I do think that ignorant people have more of a tendancy to speak up about things like that!
And of course, you pay more attention to the 3 opinions you don't want to hear, than the 14 opinions that you do.
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| Posted 7/16/07 12:58 PM |
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mommy2bella
Where does time go?
Member since 12/05 9747 total posts
Name:
Kelly
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Re: Do you think society looks down on women who want to keep working fulltime after having kids?
Posted by photoshopbabe
me, peronsally, i wouldnt want to work after kids-i want to be w/my kids growing up....
but this is the kind of comment that riles me up a bit...and you may not have even meant it intentionally, but just because I work FT does NOT mean I am not with my child....I spend quality time with her all the time. I will rearrange my schedule, as I am sure many people do to make the stuff that she will do (I have been doing it for my little sisters for years) Staying home and working are not black and white.
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| Posted 7/16/07 1:07 PM |
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maybebaby
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 6870 total posts
Name:
Maureen
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Re: Do you think society looks down on women who want to keep working fulltime after having kids?
Posted by mommy2bella
Posted by photoshopbabe
me, peronsally, i wouldnt want to work after kids-i want to be w/my kids growing up....
but this is the kind of comment that riles me up a bit...and you may not have even meant it intentionally, but just because I work FT does NOT mean I am not with my child....I spend quality time with her all the time. I will rearrange my schedule, as I am sure many people do to make the stuff that she will do (I have been doing it for my little sisters for years) Staying home and working are not black and white.
You are right when you say the issues are not black and white.
There are SAHM's that feel guilty on a daily basis because like me, they work PT from home and often wonder if their child would be happier being around other babies for a chunk of the day rather then playing next to mommy, lol...
But...what photoshopbabe wrote sounds like what I say a lot of the time-when I've been asked why I want to be a SAHM, I answer "because i want to be the one around my kids all the time".
It doesn't mean that working moms aren't involved or around their kids or miss milestones. Not true at all, BUT...honestly....I CANNOT put johnny is someone elses care. I just can't. It's my own personal thing...I didn't want to miss the day to day stuff. Its hard to say that without it sounding like you or other working moms ARE missing out...I don't believe for a minute you are...
I hope what I'm saying is making sense. I don't think its a false comment for SAHM's to say "I want to be the one with my kids". Why is that bad? It's just how I feel. When you put your child in daycare, the truth is that they are with someone else for a majority of the day adn week. That's all. Some moms like that, and love working...to me, my career wasn't all that great to begin with which made the transition super easy for me even though I've known since I'm little I would stay at home.
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| Posted 7/16/07 1:27 PM |
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Bxgell2
Perfection
Member since 5/05 16438 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: Do you think society looks down on women who want to keep working fulltime after having kids?
Posted by mommy2bella
Posted by photoshopbabe
me, peronsally, i wouldnt want to work after kids-i want to be w/my kids growing up....
but this is the kind of comment that riles me up a bit...and you may not have even meant it intentionally, but just because I work FT does NOT mean I am not with my child....I spend quality time with her all the time. I will rearrange my schedule, as I am sure many people do to make the stuff that she will do (I have been doing it for my little sisters for years) Staying home and working are not black and white.
I had the same gut reaction to this comment, but I refrained, thinking that really wasn't the poster's intent. But, it really does strike me when something like that is said, in all innocence. There is no denying at all that mother's who work likely spend less time, quantitatively, as compared to SAHM's. But, qualitatively, I know for myself, the time I do spend with my daughter, is significant, and important. I would hope that no one actually believes that because a woman works full-time that she isn't "with their kids growing up"... like mommy2bella said, there's so many factors to take into consideration- it's neveras black and white as SAHM's are with their kids growing up, and working mom's don't.
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| Posted 7/16/07 2:21 PM |
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MrsPowers
So blessed!
Member since 11/06 10348 total posts
Name:
Ivelysse
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Re: Do you think society looks down on women who want to keep working fulltime after having kids?
Posted by Bxgell2
Posted by mommy2bella
Posted by photoshopbabe
me, peronsally, i wouldnt want to work after kids-i want to be w/my kids growing up....
but this is the kind of comment that riles me up a bit...and you may not have even meant it intentionally, but just because I work FT does NOT mean I am not with my child....I spend quality time with her all the time. I will rearrange my schedule, as I am sure many people do to make the stuff that she will do (I have been doing it for my little sisters for years) Staying home and working are not black and white.
I had the same gut reaction to this comment, but I refrained, thinking that really wasn't the poster's intent. But, it really does strike me when something like that is said, in all innocence. There is no denying at all that mother's who work likely spend less time, quantitatively, as compared to SAHM's. But, qualitatively, I know for myself, the time I do spend with my daughter, is significant, and important. I would hope that no one actually believes that because a woman works full-time that she isn't "with their kids growing up"... like mommy2bella said, there's so many factors to take into consideration- it's neveras black and white as SAHM's are with their kids growing up, and working mom's don't.
Even though I don't have kids yet that comment also bothered me.
Well said ladies! I agree, women can work and still spend time with their children. My DH has a flexible schedule so when we have kids there will definitely be days when he is home with them while I am at work.
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| Posted 7/16/07 2:31 PM |
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