Anyone know about annulment? (Long)

I know this should be on Families helping Families, but this board gets a lot more traffic...

My parents were married for 15 years, and have been divorced almost 15 years now. They got divorced b/c my dad was cheating on my mom (with a woman who was pregnant with her husband's baby) and they decided to get married.

Now she's divorcing my dad for someone else, and he's trying to "get his life in order" so he's asked my mom for an annulment. We're Roman Catholic and he feels the need to take communion as a part of his "healing process". (***? Maybe you should've thought about that before you cheated on Mom?)

My mom is REALLY ******. I know that she's not going to respond to the request, but the marriage can apparantly be annuled without her input if my dad can prove that he shouldn't have married her in the first place. I think he's going to say he didn't realize what he was getting into since he was only 21 and had/has a drinking problem, but I'm not sure, that's just a guess.

My biggest concern is my mom's alimony. She really relies on that money to make ends meet each month. Will that make it so that he doesn't have to pay it?

TIA for any advice you can give.
Cathy

Re: Anyone know about annulment? (Long)

I don't know about the alimony.

But, my Dad was married 3 times. First to my sister's mom- in a Catholic church. Next to my mom in a Lutheran church.

His 3rd wife wanted a Catholic wedding, so my Dad needed to annul his 1st marriage. He was able to do it without EVER communicating with my sister's mother. He made a VERY large donation to the chuch and all of a sudden, he was all set. I think his "argument" was that he was only 21 when he got married and the 1st wife was already 4 months pregnant, so he thought he didn't have a choice in the matter...

Re: Anyone know about annulment? (Long)

I am not 100% sure, but if they already got a legal divorce and he is paying alimony, I don't think getting a church annulment would affect it. The church considers them still married, since they don't recognize the civil divorce as invalidating the marriage. If they never get an annulment from the church, the church still considers them married, regardless of what a court says.

If your mom is worried about her alimony payments, she should check with her attorney, but I think at this point, only the church status would change if the annulment goes through.

Re: Anyone know about annulment? (Long)

I don't know anything about the Catholic church and an annulment there, but I can tell you that legally, I dont believe he can get an annullment.

Assuming they were married in NY, there are several grounds for an anullment:

ACTION TO ANNUL A MARRIAGE OR DECLARE IT VOID
Section 140. Action for judgment declaring nullity of void marriages or annulling voidable marriage.
a) Former husband or wife living.
(b) Party under age of consent.
(c) Party a mentally retarded person or mentally ill person.
(d) Physical incapacity.
(e) Consent by force, duress or fraud.
(f) Incurable mental illness for five years.

ALSO:
S 144. Proof required. 1. In an action to annul a marriage, a final
judgment annulling the marriage shall not be rendered by default for
want of an appearance or pleading, or by consent, or upon a trial of an
issue, without proof of the facts upon which the allegation of nullity
is founded. Plaintiff shall prove that there has been no such
cohabitation between the parties as would bar a judgment except that in
an action under subdivision (c) of section one hundred forty the
plaintiff may prove instead that the mental illness still continues.
2. In any action, whether or not contested, brought to annul a
marriage, the declaration or confession of either party to the marriage
is not alone sufficient as proof, but other satisfactory evidence of the
facts must be produced.

Being "too young" to get married (not in the legal sense- and 21 is not too young legally) and being an alcoholic would probably not be enough to get a 30 year old marriage annulled- unless he argues that he was drunk when he got married and was unable to give his consent.


ETA: Also, the fact that they obtained a divorce would make an annulment unavailable.

Message edited 10/3/2005 10:09:06 AM.

Re: Anyone know about annulment? (Long)

Thanks. I think that she's just feeling upset and overwhelmed. It brings back a lot of bad memories / feelings and she was completely blindsided by it this morning when she got to work and got his email.

Thanks again.

Re: Anyone know about annulment? (Long)

That sux. I'm sorry your mom and your family have to go through this.

Re: Anyone know about annulment? (Long)

It can certainly be done. My mom just finalized her annulment through the Roman Catholic Church of her marriage from my Dad a few weeks ago. It took about 6 months for the whole process to be completed but she did not need anything from my Dad - no consent, no signature, nothing. They were married for around 20 years and they were legally divorced for about 10 years before the annulment.

I was SHOCKED at how EASY it was to get an annulment through the Catholic Church. My mom basically used the grounds that she was too young (21) to know what she was getting herself into and that she felt "pressure" from her parents to go through with the marriage. (Not that it was arranged or anything like that at all).

I don't know if it will affect alimony. Actually, I don't see how it could. The annulment is purely religious, not recognized by the public government at all. As far as the gov't is concerned they have long since been divorced and I don't see how a religious annulment could affect a legal divorce settlement. I don't think her alimony would be affected at all. And, I don't think he can get a legal annulment anymore.

Re: Anyone know about annulment? (Long)

I am not Catholic but I know someone who got divorced and later a catholic annulment - they have NOTHING to do with each other.

It is just something that would be seen in the eyes of the church it should have no effect on her legal divorce (alimony etc). They are two totally separate things.