| Posted By |
Message |
SweetTooth
I'm a tired mommy!
Member since 12/05 20105 total posts
Name:
Lauren
|
Etiqutte question, everyone please come in!
DH and I went to a wedding on Sunday.
Here's some background before my question (please bear with me, this is a little long):
The groom was my mom's 50 yr old cousin. The bride was a 35 yo russian woman. They "met on the internet" and she just came to the US two weeks before the wedding.
The wedding was paid for by the groom's mother.
It was one probably the most bizarre wedding I have been to- in the ceremony, they didn't kiss, he kissed her on the cheek.
They sat at their table almost the whole reception, and never danced except for the first dance.
The bride totally flirted with my brother.
The groom's mother said to my mom after the ceremony "I give it a week."
OK. So we gave a gift, same as we would give to any wedding we would go to, even though I though the whole thing w as a sham.
Here comes my question:
Groom's mother calls my mom today and says they lost a whole bunch of cards, ours included, so we should cancel the check, and deduct the fee from our gift!!!
Do we send another check? And if so for the same amount minus the cancel check fee?
What would you do?
|
Posted 5/1/07 6:27 PM  |
| |
|
Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
LFitzy79
can hardly wait
Member since 5/05 2650 total posts
Name:
Lauren
|
Re: Etiqutte question, everyone please come in!
wow...I'd be happy I wrote a check and didn't give cash! I'd send another check, and if you can afford to absorb the cancelled check fee, then give the original amount...
ETA: of course you can afford the cancelled check fee, I meant as long as the fee isn't something ridiculous...
Message edited 5/1/2007 6:30:59 PM.
|
| Posted 5/1/07 6:29 PM |
| |
|
Christine
2nd verse same as the 1st
Member since 5/05 15287 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Etiqutte question, everyone please come in!
I would replace the check for the same value.
|
| Posted 5/1/07 6:58 PM |
| |
|
Tine73
Member since 3/06 22093 total posts
Name:
*********
|
Re: Etiqutte question, everyone please come in!
Posted by Christine
I would replace the check for the same value.
Me too...
|
| Posted 5/1/07 7:05 PM |
| |
|
|
|
Re: Etiqutte question, everyone please come in!
I would make absolutely sure that the first check did not already clear. You never know!
If the check has already cleared, I would be leery about sending another one.
If it has not cleared, I would send another check but I would have to think about whether to deduct any fees.
Message edited 5/1/2007 7:08:55 PM.
|
| Posted 5/1/07 7:08 PM |
| |
|
LIBOUND
Texting king
Member since 10/05 5289 total posts
Name:
Suzy
|
Re: Etiqutte question, everyone please come in!
Posted by ssdbk
I would make absolutely sure that the first check did not already clear. You never know!
I second this, and would simply replace for the exact amount of the gift.
|
| Posted 5/1/07 7:12 PM |
| |
|
Maathy317
Grammie's Little Man
Member since 2/06 3235 total posts
Name:
D
|
Re: Etiqutte question, everyone please come in!
Posted by LIBOUND
Posted by ssdbk
I would make absolutely sure that the first check did not already clear. You never know!
I second this, and would simply replace for the exact amount of the gift.
Both of these are good advice.
|
| Posted 5/1/07 7:14 PM |
| |
|
Kara
Now Zagat Rated!
Member since 3/07 13217 total posts
Name:
They call me "Tater Salad"
|
Re: Etiqutte question, everyone please come in!
Posted by ssdbk
I would make absolutely sure that the first check did not already clear. You never know!
If the check has already cleared, I would be leery about sending another one.
If it has not cleared, I would send another check but I would have to think about whether to deduct any fees.
Definitely check - good thinking!
If it has already cleared, DEFINITELY do not send another check... unless you find out someone else managed to somehow cash the check (and it was not them)
If it hasn't cleared, I'd probably replace it with a check of the same amount.
How did they lose so many cards?
|
| Posted 5/1/07 7:16 PM |
| |
|
smdl
I love Gary too..on a plate!
Member since 5/06 32461 total posts
Name:
me
|
Re: Etiqutte question, everyone please come in!
Given the circumstances.
- check that the check did not clear
- pay the fee to cancel the check
- wait a bit to make sure the check cannot be cashed later on (keep all the paperwork)
- re-issue check (minus fee)
|
| Posted 5/1/07 7:37 PM |
| |
|
nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Etiqutte question, everyone please come in!
Posted by smdl
Given the circumstances.
- check that the check did not clear
- pay the fee to cancel the check
- wait a bit to make sure the check cannot be cashed later on (keep all the paperwork)
- re-issue check (minus fee)
ITA
In the meantime, if that "week" passes & it's not working out....
|
| Posted 5/1/07 8:16 PM |
| |
|
SweetTooth
I'm a tired mommy!
Member since 12/05 20105 total posts
Name:
Lauren
|
Re: Etiqutte question, everyone please come in!
Posted by nrthshgrl
Posted by smdl
Given the circumstances.
- check that the check did not clear
- pay the fee to cancel the check
- wait a bit to make sure the check cannot be cashed later on (keep all the paperwork)
- re-issue check (minus fee)
ITA
In the meantime, if that "week" passes & it's not working out....
Thanks for the advice everyone!! 
|
| Posted 5/1/07 8:19 PM |
| |
|
TeddyBear922
LIF Adult
Member since 8/06 1265 total posts
Name:
Chris
|
Re: Etiqutte question, everyone please come in!
I agree with make sure it didn't clear, send a new check, but I would deduct the fee just on principle.
|
| Posted 5/2/07 12:54 PM |
| |
|
JandJ1224
Member since 6/06 5911 total posts
Name:
Jannette
|
Re: Etiqutte question, everyone please come in!
Just curious how they knew you gave a check if they never saw your card?
I would give original amount.
|
| Posted 5/2/07 1:01 PM |
| |
|
dpli
Daylight savings :)
Member since 5/05 13973 total posts
Name:
D
|
Re: Etiqutte question, everyone please come in!
I'd give the amount I originally gave (after cancelling the first one).
We had a few cards go missing at our wedding, I think because the guests put the cards on the gift table instead of handing them to us directly. We didn't know about it until someone called when we still hadn't cashed the check. Now I am anal about handing the card to the person directly at a party or wedding.
|
| Posted 5/2/07 1:03 PM |
| |
|
MegZee
My bunny
Member since 5/06 8777 total posts
Name:
Meaghan
|
Re: Etiqutte question, everyone please come in!
I would just write another check.
|
| Posted 5/2/07 1:05 PM |
| |
|
MegZee
My bunny
Member since 5/06 8777 total posts
Name:
Meaghan
|
Re: Etiqutte question, everyone please come in!
Posted by JandJ1224
Just curious how they knew you gave a check if they never saw your card?
I would give original amount.
ooohhhh good point 
|
| Posted 5/2/07 1:05 PM |
| |
|
jxnoscar
Baby Delicious!
Member since 8/06 4156 total posts
Name:
Nancy
|
Re: Etiqutte question, everyone please come in!
I unfortunately think you have to look at this same as any other wedding. Resend the check, sans the cost for losing it.
HOWEVER, if this was cash, I would probably rethink the whole thing
Also, if they never left the table, where did all these cards go
|
| Posted 5/2/07 1:06 PM |
| |
|
SweetTooth
I'm a tired mommy!
Member since 12/05 20105 total posts
Name:
Lauren
|
Re: Etiqutte question, everyone please come in!
Posted by Meaghan729
Posted by JandJ1224
Just curious how they knew you gave a check if they never saw your card?
I would give original amount.
ooohhhh good point
Well, I guess they matched up who they DID get cards from and then called everyone they DID NOT get cards from.
How they lost the cards is beyond me.
|
| Posted 5/2/07 1:08 PM |
| |
|
kerrycec03
Mom of 2 beautiful boys!!
Member since 6/06 13519 total posts
Name:
Kerry
|
Re: Etiqutte question, everyone please come in!
Posted by Christine
I would replace the check for the same value.
ditto
|
| Posted 5/2/07 1:10 PM |
| |
|
MST9106
My life:)
Member since 6/06 9589 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Etiqutte question, everyone please come in!
Posted by kerrycec03
Posted by Christine
I would replace the check for the same value.
ditto
Same here...
|
| Posted 5/2/07 1:17 PM |
| |
|
