Lisa
I'm a PANK!!!
Member since 5/05 22334 total posts
Name:
Professional Aunts No Kids
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Funny joke!!!
I LOVE MY JOB . . . . . .
If you don't laugh out loud after you read this you are in a coma! This is even funnier when you realize it's real! Next time you have a bad day
at work think of this guy.
>
> Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana . He
> performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs.
>
> Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio
> station 103.2 on FM dial in Ft. Wayne , Indiana , who was sponsoring a
> worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she won.
>
> Hi Sue,
>
> Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.
>
> Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling
> down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you
> to make you realize it's not so bad after all .
>
> Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with
> a few technic alities of my job.
>
> As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit
> to the office. It's a wet suit. This time of year the water is quite
> cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered
> industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the
> water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature.
>
> It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is
> taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've
> used it several times with no complaints.
>
> What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose
> and stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit
> with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.
>
> Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to
> itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse.
> Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from
> my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened.
>
> The hot water machine had sucked up a je llyfish and pumped it into my
> suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish
> couldn't stick to it However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate.
>
> When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the
> jellyfish into the crack of my butt.
>
> I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His
> instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other
> divers, were all laughing hysterically.
>
> Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three
> agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could
> reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived
> at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.
>
> As I climbed out of the water, th e medic, with tears of laughter
> running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my
butt as soon as I got in the chamber.
>
> The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my
> butt was swollen shut.
>
> So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much
> worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.
>
> Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job."
>
> Now whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad day?
>
> May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day!
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