For ladies who are the "bread winners"...?

How did you know when the right time was to have a baby? How did you both handle it financially when you could not work for a while?

I will be the bread winner once I am done w/ grad school. I am very nervous that it will never be "the right time" for us, yet we want to have a family so badly. Once I am done w/ school we will first be looking into getting our first house...right now we rent and finances are tough.

Re: For ladies who are the "bread winners"...?

We are going through this now - I am on maternity leave and it is hard because I don't get paid at all so we are living on DH's salary. No way we could do this if we didn't have sufficient savings to pay the mortgage and bills. If we didn't already own a house, it would be almost impossible to save money at this point to buy one now that we have the expenses of DC and I'm without a salary for 4 months.

But people with far worse circumstances than us do it all the time so I guess it is do-able depending on what sacrifices you are willing to make. It will never seem like the right time, but we went for it because I was in my mid-30's and didn't want to wait any longer.

Re: For ladies who are the "bread winners"...?

I agree too about the sacrifices you have to make... I am the breadwinner.. and will not be working for the last 2 months of my pregnancy, and straight on thru til after the baby is born... My DH is military, and is being retrained when I am 7 months along, and won't be back until after the baby arrives. Fortunately, I can move home to Long island with my parents during this crucial time, and when the baby is 2 months old we'll be back in base housing til I can get back to work.... I think honestly, planning goes out the window, and you kinda have to roll with the punches, and realize this isnt a long term situation... and you will make do for the little one :) ... that and always thinking it could be worse is what gets me through :)

Re: For ladies who are the "bread winners"...?

There are definitely sacrifices, but we have always lived like this. Also, I fortunately work for a company where almost my entire leave is paid in full, so we will work it out.

Re: For ladies who are the "bread winners"...?

I make more than DH and I need to go back to work after my disability of 12 weeks...luckily, my company has great benefits and I get paid at either 100 or 80% of my base for disability

Re: For ladies who are the "bread winners"...?

i make more $$ then my husband, but we have been saving so we can have enough to cover my portion of the bills when i am out on maternity leave, (so i can stay home with the baby for around 5-6 months). I am an independent contractor, so i make great $$ but i dont get any benefits or maternity leave $$ (husband has the benefits for us). It pretty much comes down to saving the $$ before the baby is born, depending on how long you want to be out of work

Message edited 1/1/2007 1:16:59 PM.

Re: For ladies who are the "bread winners"...?

We purposely got pregnant so that I had my daughter in April and I would only wind up missing 2 paychecks and then get my summer check and be home with her from April until Sept. We will be trying for the same thing with Baby #2

Re: For ladies who are the "bread winners"...?

You just need to plan and at some point understand that there will never be a perfect time or enough money. Understand what your company benefits are and then work with DH to plan on you being home for as long as you can.

Re: For ladies who are the "bread winners"...?

I'm not the "breadwinner" but I make twice as much as DH until July.

There is never a perfect time, especially with us so we just went for it and have adjusted. We've been overdepositing a couple hundred dollars into our bills acct every month so that we have a 2 month of DH's salary cushion. But it took about 1 year for it to accumulate.

I am also lucky that I will be using my vacation time for baby so no salary gap. Then DH will stay home for a few months, and he won't get paid for 2 months (which we already have saved). I will get only a short time off, but I have heard from many in my field that it's ok because the time you want is more later on.