To tell or not to tell...What would you do?

So my entire immediate family (which is quite big) will be together on NYE. I would love so much to take this opportunity to announce that we are having our first baby (just to the immediate family for now-which is all that will be there). But, I had previously decided not to tell anyone until after the first dr.'s appt (at 8 weeks). I will be 5 weeks on NYE. It was so hard to make it through Christmas Eve and Christmas how will I do this? At any rate, I know all the pros and cons of telling early vs. later and I know it is an extremely personal decision so I am not asking for advice as to what I should do...I am just curious...what would YOU do? Would you tell now on NYE or wait?

Thanks in adance

Re: To tell or not to tell...What would you do?

That's tough. 5 weeks is still very early. But, pregnancy is an exciting time and it would be great to be able to tell your whole family at once. I would probably go for it and hope for the best!

Re: To tell or not to tell...What would you do?

I told right away - to my immediate family, that is. Even after my m/c, I told them again, early. I figured if something did happen, they will find out and I would appreciate their support. Congrats & good luck!

Re: To tell or not to tell...What would you do?

It's hard to keep such a great secret but for me I am very superstitious and waited until we were at 13 weeks to announce it. But I also got lucky in that the announcement coincided with Thanksgiving where the entire immediate family was together. But I sympathize with you because during the wait I received two separate calls from my SIL telling me that her two other SILs were pregnant - I wanted so badly to tell her "me too." But we waited. It was a personal choice but not necessarily the right one for everyone. It's completely your call but this is what I did.

Re: To tell or not to tell...What would you do?

The first time I got PG, we told our immediate family right away. We asked everyone to respect our wishes and not tell anyone until we gave the ok to. This did not happen. Both my parents and DH's parents told alot of people. I ended up having a miscarriage. I've had several akward incidents since where people who my parents and IL's told did not know that I had a miscarriage and have congratulated me. Its mortifying.

This time around, we have told a few close friends who we trust, but have kept it to ourselves when it comes to our family.

So, my advice is, unless you can really really really trust people not to say anything- or unless you dont mind the people that you tell telling other people, then I would hold back- but thats just me- based on my experiences.

Re: To tell or not to tell...What would you do?

Re: To tell or not to tell...What would you do?

We told our family and our close friends that didnt know on Christmas, I am in my 8th week. I M/c in october and was aprehensive about telling until the 12 week mark, however, i think its going to be noticable long before. I was kind of more like, whatever is going to happen, is goign to happen and im sure everyone would be supportive had things took a turn for the worst.

Re: To tell or not to tell...What would you do?

i know its a tough decision. we actually told only family members in the very beginning. pretty much my whole family knew when i was as early as you. i have an extremely close family and didn't have a problem with it. i figured if something God forbid did happen that i would share that as well as sad as it might be...it is a totally personal choice. i didn't tell work or work friends however until 12 wks. i still haven't told my students at school and i am 15 wks!. congrats to you!

Re: To tell or not to tell...What would you do?

I found out I was pregnant around 4 wks and told friends and family almost right away. Thankfully, I am now 26 wks, but I know others were not so lucky. Next time I think I may wait a little longer.

Re: To tell or not to tell...What would you do?

Considering it will be NYE and people will be drinking and having fun, it might be hard for you to hide your pregnancy.

However, at 5 weeks, I wouldn' tell anyone, even immediate family!

My advice to you, if you prefer not to say anything just yet, is NOT to refuse any drinks, walk around with a glass and periodically touch it to your lips without actually swallowing the content. That trick always worked for me!

Re: To tell or not to tell...What would you do?

I had a series of events early in my pregnancy which practically forced me to tell family and close friends (birthdays, Christmas).

I had a scare that the pregnancy wasn't a good one about a week after we told our parents, but all ended up being OK (thank goodness)!

IMO, I would have told my close friends and family if I had a mc, so why not share the good news too?

Re: To tell or not to tell...What would you do?

We told immediate family immediately and asked them to keep it a secret until we were ready to share with the rest of the world....that pregnancy ended in a miscarriage and it was nice to have their support. However, we were very specific and told them to NOT share the news with ANYONE! We are now pregnant again, and we told immediate family again. We decided after my first dr appt(6 weeks) to then share with others since everything looked so good!

Re: To tell or not to tell...What would you do?

That's hard. For me, we told right away but that's only because I cant hold two peas in my mouth !!

Do what your guts tell you is right. Good luck!!

Re: To tell or not to tell...What would you do?

I had to tell people earlier than I wanted. Immediate family knew we were doing IVF because, for a while last year, we were living with them and because of an eye infection I needed MIL and FIL to drive me to some doctor's appts. Immediate family kept it a secret.

I also had to tell work at 8 weeks because they put my on the worst cafeteria duty ever... 200 kids and my doc said I couldn't do it. I was starting to show though that early.

JMO, but if I had the option I think I'd wait a bit longer.

Re: To tell or not to tell...What would you do?

We told our immediate families right away. I wanted them there for support either way! I was about 5 1/2 weeks when we told them.

Re: To tell or not to tell...What would you do?

If it were me, I would tell. In fact, I was in a similar situation NYE 2 years ago. (You must be due around Labor Day!!) Just under 5 weeks pregnant and I was going to my sister's. I had already told my parents immediately earlier that week and I didn't know when I was going to see my sister and BIL the next time...and they were going to be an aunt/uncle for the first time.

I did tell them, but unfortunately, BIL has a very big mouth and told, not only his dad and step mom (who were there), but his mom and step dad (who called at midnight) even though I told them to say nothing.

Everything worked out, thankfully, and I would still do the same...in fact, I told the same people at 4 weeks this time too! Others I didn't tell until weeks later.

Message edited 12/29/2006 12:09:07 PM.

Re: To tell or not to tell...What would you do?

We told our parents and I told my best friends as soon as I took the test!

Honestly? I would tell people who you would use as a support system if you did happen to m/c. That is how I looked at it anyway.

Re: To tell or not to tell...What would you do?

I would tell. I told first time around and miscarried. Those were the same people I needed for support. Second time around, DH wanted me to wait but I couldn't. I told right away.

Telling is not going to change anything -- not the outcome. So if you want to, I say go ahead.

Re: To tell or not to tell...What would you do?

its a personal choice, but for my immediate family they knew pretty much as fast as the ept stick told me...within hours.

Re: To tell or not to tell...What would you do?

For me, 5 weeks was too early to tell anyone. I think it's as personal preference. Good luck, whatever you decide!

Re: To tell or not to tell...What would you do?

Our immediate families knew at about 5 weeks. We let them know that they were NOT to tell anyone until we gave them the ok, in case anything happened....but we also wanted them to know, in case anything happened, so they could be there to support us.