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Elbee
Zanzibar
Member since 5/05 10767 total posts
Name:
Me
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Would You Rather Have ...
Here's a poll.
Would you rather have an esquisite house far away from family & friends (1 hour plus) or would you rather have a decent house (has everything you need, but isn't your dream) closer to the ones you love?
DH & I are talking about this now and we're not exactly on the same page. On one hand, do you really want to spend 1/2 million on something that isn't your dream - even if the neighborhood is good? On the other hand, in order to get that dream house (layout, location, etc) you have to be over an hour away from family and friends?
ETA: For the example, the houses are the same price
Message edited 8/22/2005 12:10:15 PM.
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Posted 8/22/05 12:02 PM  |
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MrsJ
I love my Katie Bug
Member since 5/05 11357 total posts
Name:
Kathy
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Re: Would You Rather Have ...
Def. choice #2, you can always make it nicer/bigger etc. I wouldnt want to move too far from friends and family unless we had to.
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| Posted 8/22/05 12:04 PM |
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Wendy
Wheeee!
Member since 5/05 13736 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would You Rather Have ...
Frankly, I'd want which ever is more affordable.
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| Posted 8/22/05 12:05 PM |
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Elbee
Zanzibar
Member since 5/05 10767 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Would You Rather Have ...
ETA: For the example, the houses are the same price
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| Posted 8/22/05 12:10 PM |
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luvsun27
Check out my cool glasses
Member since 5/05 8135 total posts
Name:
Kim
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Re: Would You Rather Have ...
It depends....is the commute time for work the same for both houses? Do you normally see friends/family during the work week, or is most of the visiting done on weekends?
I ask, because an hour away is not that far...I would go with the dream house....
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| Posted 8/22/05 12:26 PM |
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my3bugs
Mom of 2 Boys
Member since 5/05 4381 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would You Rather Have ...
I chose closer to family (and work) when I puchased our home. We are about a 30-40mins from my parents and an hour from DH's. We didn't want to be much farther - even though we could get a lot more for our money in other locations. I am very happy with our home.
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| Posted 8/22/05 1:01 PM |
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Palebride
I am an amazing bakist
Member since 5/05 13673 total posts
Name:
Lori
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Re: Would You Rather Have ...
I chose closer to family. I moved far away once and I missed them a lot....and because once we start a family, we will be using my father for child care 
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| Posted 8/22/05 1:03 PM |
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Wendy
Wheeee!
Member since 5/05 13736 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would You Rather Have ...
Posted by Elbee
ETA: For the example, the houses are the same price
If they were the same price, I'd want my dream house!
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| Posted 8/22/05 1:18 PM |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Would You Rather Have ...
i need to be near my friends and family....
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| Posted 8/22/05 1:25 PM |
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Elbee
Zanzibar
Member since 5/05 10767 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Would You Rather Have ...
Posted by Redhead
i need to be near my friends and family....
that's how I feel. If it was up to me, we'd be smack in the middle of my mom and his mom (our parents are two towns away from each other) ... but he's rather move to somewhere that is proabably with no traffic about 1-2 hours away in order to "get the most for our money" ... to me it's not worth owning a home if people only visit a few times a year. 
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| Posted 8/22/05 1:29 PM |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Would You Rather Have ...
Posted by Elbee
Posted by Redhead
i need to be near my friends and family....
that's how I feel. If it was up to me, we'd be smack in the middle of my mom and his mom (our parents are two towns away from each other) ... but he's rather move to somewhere that is proabably with no traffic about 1-2 hours away in order to "get the most for our money" ... to me it's not worth owning a home if people only visit a few times a year.
totally agree!
Although it is VERY tempting to go somewhere else...i just won't.
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| Posted 8/22/05 1:32 PM |
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Elbee
Zanzibar
Member since 5/05 10767 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Would You Rather Have ...
Posted by Redhead
totally agree!
Although it is VERY tempting to go somewhere else...i just won't.
It's not like we'd be in a different metro area (like Philly or Chicago, etc...) - you know like a different life. We'd be in the same NY metro only very far from people.
I know for me, I hate having to get in the car and drive 2 hours to see someone for the day. And as your children get older they have school & friend activities on the weekend and it gets harder to see family.
I want to watch my nephews (actually they are DH's nephews) grow up. I want my kids (future kids) to see them a lot. Right now we see them average every 2-weeks. They live in Amityville & we live in Queens. I cannot imagine moving to Manalapan, NJ or somewhere down there and them having to travel through Long Island, Queens, Brooklyn, Staten Island & NJ to see us! We'd never see them!
It's just so sad because on the surface I agree with DH - if we move to NJ we can afford soo much more, so much more and yet I really don't imagine ever being happy away from our families. 
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| Posted 8/22/05 1:42 PM |
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luvsun27
Check out my cool glasses
Member since 5/05 8135 total posts
Name:
Kim
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Re: Would You Rather Have ...
Hey...Jersey isn't so bad....I live there now 
There are times when I see my family multiples times in a week or sometimes not for a few weeks. Like...my sister came to NJ on a Friday....and then DH and I were in LI on Sunday for a birthday party. You get used to it...it's really not that bad. I would like to live closer...but honestly, it will never happen. Right now we both work in NJ so living close to home is great....I wouldn't want to commute 2 hours everyday so I can maybe see my family. I would rather have a nice dream house and see them as often as I can.
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| Posted 8/22/05 2:03 PM |
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Elbee
Zanzibar
Member since 5/05 10767 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Would You Rather Have ...
I like NJ - northern NJ is something I'm definitely willing to do .... it's the central/souther/western part of NJ I'm not interested in 
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| Posted 8/22/05 2:05 PM |
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luvsun27
Check out my cool glasses
Member since 5/05 8135 total posts
Name:
Kim
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Re: Would You Rather Have ...
Posted by Elbee
I like NJ - northern NJ is something I'm definitely willing to do .... it's the central/souther/western part of NJ I'm not interested in
See....I am in Northern NJ, and I agree, I wouldn't want to go much further west/south, but I like it in north jersey.
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| Posted 8/22/05 2:09 PM |
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Elbee
Zanzibar
Member since 5/05 10767 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Would You Rather Have ...
Posted by luvsun27
Posted by Elbee
I like NJ - northern NJ is something I'm definitely willing to do .... it's the central/souther/western part of NJ I'm not interested in
See....I am in Northern NJ, and I agree, I wouldn't want to go much further west/south, but I like it in north jersey.
I have family in Northen NJ and I love it there - Ramsey-Waldwick-Paramus-Ridgewood and that whole surrounding area near route 17 ... DH & I have been looking and we're both on board for that.
But he wants to look in Central NJ (near Cheesequake and surround that area) and I think it's just too far down for us.
I want to look in Long Island and the only reason he'll even consider it is because of his brother. I'm all for LI, he hates the commute when we visit anyone and the congestion of the towns/highways/etc ...
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| Posted 8/22/05 2:14 PM |
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DjPiLL
Member since 5/05 3664 total posts
Name:
Richard
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Re: Would You Rather Have ...
I'll take the better house over being closer to family and friends.
Original poster said it could be an hour away at minimum... and frankly an hour isn't even that bad. Two hours isn't even that bad.
We all have cars for a reason.
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| Posted 8/22/05 2:24 PM |
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luvsun27
Check out my cool glasses
Member since 5/05 8135 total posts
Name:
Kim
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Re: Would You Rather Have ...
I am in Elmwood Park....not far from the towns you listed. The traffic in Paramus on Rt. 17 on a Saturday though isn't great....but there's no traffic on Sunday's because everythings closed (they still have Blue Laws in Bergen County).
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| Posted 8/22/05 2:24 PM |
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Re: Would You Rather Have ...
Well, I live in Chicago and our families are on the East Coast, so there is kind of my answer to the question.
From my perspective, one hour from friends and family isn't far away - you could go over for the day on a weekend and not have to make it an overnight trip...sort of a test to being close to me.
But, I wouldn't move just for a house either. We moved here so my DH could get his MBA from a top school. After two years, we decided to stay for many reasons not just b/c we could get a nicer house. It is less expensive than NYC and Hoboken which is where we would have gone back to, but more expensive than LI where my family is - so housing costs were not a major factor.
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| Posted 8/22/05 2:30 PM |
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Elbee
Zanzibar
Member since 5/05 10767 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Would You Rather Have ...
Posted by luvsun27
I am in Elmwood Park....not far from the towns you listed. The traffic in Paramus on Rt. 17 on a Saturday though isn't great....but there's no traffic on Sunday's because everythings closed (they still have Blue Laws in Bergen County).
I take Route 80 to GSP to 17 to avoid it if I know there is going to be traffic. I love the idea of the blue laws.
I like Elmwood park - that's even closer to the GWB
For the other poster, 2-hours to see family on a regular basis is a lot when you have other things going on in your life (soccer games, errands, nap schedules, etc). By regular I mean weekly/bi-weekly.
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| Posted 8/22/05 2:31 PM |
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Elbee
Zanzibar
Member since 5/05 10767 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Would You Rather Have ...
Posted by SeptemberBride03
Well, I live in Chicago and our families are on the East Coast, so there is kind of my answer to the question.
From my perspective, one hour from friends and family isn't far away - you could go over for the day on a weekend and not have to make it an overnight trip...sort of a test to being close to me.
But, I wouldn't move just for a house either. We moved here so my DH could get his MBA from a top school. After two years, we decided to stay for many reasons not just b/c we could get a nicer house. It is less expensive than NYC and Hoboken which is where we would have gone back to, but more expensive than LI where my family is - so housing costs were not a major factor.
thank you, that's what I mean. You moved far away for a reason and stayed because you liked it. DH wants to move away because you get "more bang for your buck" ... to me that's not a good enough reason.
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| Posted 8/22/05 2:33 PM |
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luvsun27
Check out my cool glasses
Member since 5/05 8135 total posts
Name:
Kim
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Re: Would You Rather Have ...
Posted by Elbee
I take Route 80 to GSP to 17 to avoid it if I know there is going to be traffic. I love the idea of the blue laws.
I like Elmwood park - that's even closer to the GWB
Yes...there are many ways around the traffic. You have to think of your lifestyle though....if DH is commuting to the city...his commute might be shorter, so you will have more time. As I said before...do you go to family/friends during the week or only on weekends. If you live in LI now...do you see them weekly? I see my family at least 2 times/month...sometimes more and honestly, that's fine. They come here, we go there. We talk on the phone. DH's parents are in FL so we don't see them very often. You have to do what's best for you and DH....everything else will fall into place.
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| Posted 8/22/05 2:39 PM |
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