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blu6385
Member since 5/08 8351 total posts
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Re: Would you feel offended if friend asked if you wanted to earn extra money?
Posted by Bridex100
Posted by LuckyStar
Of course it's offensive. How is that even a question? I would likely let the friendship fizzle out if someone I considered my equal asked me to be their hired help. And how on earth is she supposed to travel with you if she has her own child?
It sounds like you need a mothers helper not a grown woman with a family and career.
Sorry but the whole idea is inappropriate and borderline disrespectful.
I would pay for both her and her son to travel with us. Both my sons play very nicely with her son.
Right now I have a housekeeper who comes 5x per week but no childcare.
but what about her DH for travel? I think if you have any chance of this maybe working you need to ask about traveling with you that would be very awkward.
And I agree you need mothers helper or a college student
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Posted 2/16/17 4:01 PM  |
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klingklang77
kraftwerk!
Member since 7/06 11489 total posts
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Re: Would you feel offended if friend asked if you wanted to earn extra money?
I would be offended. I am an English as a second language teacher and I had one "friend" who basically wanted to meet up with me to practice her English (that's it, just meet and talk and correct her). I was offended. I wanted a friendship not a friendship which was literally work for me.
It doesn't even matter if you are paying her. You are asking to enter into a relationship in which you would be her superior. That's not what a friendship is about.
It's rude don't ask.
Message edited 2/16/2017 4:22:59 PM.
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| Posted 2/16/17 4:05 PM |
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olive98
LIF Adolescent
Member since 11/12 791 total posts
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Would you feel offended if friend asked if you wanted to earn extra money?
I'd be so offended. Hire a Nanny.
So weird you are going to pay your friend to bring her son and travel with you. Honestly not sure why you are asking a message board of strangers when your husband has given you his opinion.
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| Posted 2/16/17 4:32 PM |
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gina409
TWINS!
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Re: Would you feel offended if friend asked if you wanted to earn extra money?
Posted by drpepper318
While I actually think it's a great idea and not offensive at all, and I can see how hard it would be to pass up the opportunity, I don't think I'd do it. People get really really weird about stuff even when your intentions are good. She might feel funny about taking money from you, or think the suggestion means you look down on her, or lots of other thoughts stemming from insecurities that she might not even realize and then will take it out on you. It could affect the friendship and make things awkward. Probably better to avoid it altogether.
This. I'm not really sure how it's offensive??
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| Posted 2/16/17 4:38 PM |
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Bridex100
Two Under Two Mommy
Member since 3/08 10420 total posts
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Momx100
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Re: Would you feel offended if friend asked if you wanted to earn extra money?
Posted by gina409
Posted by drpepper318
While I actually think it's a great idea and not offensive at all, and I can see how hard it would be to pass up the opportunity, I don't think I'd do it. People get really really weird about stuff even when your intentions are good. She might feel funny about taking money from you, or think the suggestion means you look down on her, or lots of other thoughts stemming from insecurities that she might not even realize and then will take it out on you. It could affect the friendship and make things awkward. Probably better to avoid it altogether.
This. I'm not really sure how it's offensive??
I don't see why it is offensive either. I know a lot of teachers work part time or get summer jobs to supplement income.
I won't ask her. I will try to find another teacher. I want something more than a college student. Our next door teenager babysits my two older kids but I would not leave the baby with her.
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| Posted 2/16/17 5:28 PM |
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Bridex100
Two Under Two Mommy
Member since 3/08 10420 total posts
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Momx100
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Re: Would you feel offended if friend asked if you wanted to earn extra money?
Posted by klingklang77
I would be offended. I am an English as a second language teacher and I had one "friend" who basically wanted to meet up with me to practice her English (that's it, just meet and talk and correct her). I was offended. I wanted a friendship not a friendship which was literally work for me.
It doesn't even matter if you are paying her. You are asking to enter into a relationship in which you would be her superior. That's not what a friendship is about.
It's rude don't ask.
I think of it differently. I think of her as a childhood education expert and want enrichment for my children.
The only thing that I think might end up potentially awkward is separating when she would be working and when she would just be hanging out with us as a friend.
I already decided not to ask her. I will ask her if she knows anyone who is looking for summer work.
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| Posted 2/16/17 5:34 PM |
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LuckyStar
LIF Adult
Member since 7/14 7274 total posts
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Re: Would you feel offended if friend asked if you wanted to earn extra money?
Posted by Bridex100
Posted by LuckyStar
Of course it's offensive. How is that even a question? I would likely let the friendship fizzle out if someone I considered my equal asked me to be their hired help. And how on earth is she supposed to travel with you if she has her own child?
It sounds like you need a mothers helper not a grown woman with a family and career.
Sorry but the whole idea is inappropriate and borderline disrespectful.
I would pay for both her and her son to travel with us. Both my sons play very nicely with her son.
Right now I have a housekeeper who comes 5x per week but no childcare.
Maybe your chauffeur wants to pick up some OT and can hang with the kiddies?
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| Posted 2/16/17 8:48 PM |
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PatsBrat
LIF Adult
Member since 10/06 2326 total posts
Name:
Ms. Brat
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Re: Would you feel offended if friend asked if you wanted to earn extra money?
I would be extremely offended. I'm a teacher and this happened to me once in the past. The message I heard was that the "friend" thought teaching and childcare were the same career and that she was doing me a favor by giving me something to do in my "downtime." Was this how the person felt? I have no idea, but that's how I took it. We are no longer friends.
Unless she has said it directly or alluded to the fact that she'd like to work on school vacations and in the summer, I wouldn't mention it. She's an educator who works HARD for 10 months and may want a break to relax, recharge her batteries and spend downtime with her son.
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| Posted 2/16/17 9:03 PM |
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PatsBrat
LIF Adult
Member since 10/06 2326 total posts
Name:
Ms. Brat
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Re: Would you feel offended if friend asked if you wanted to earn extra money?
Posted by Bridex100
Posted by gina409
Posted by drpepper318
While I actually think it's a great idea and not offensive at all, and I can see how hard it would be to pass up the opportunity, I don't think I'd do it. People get really really weird about stuff even when your intentions are good. She might feel funny about taking money from you, or think the suggestion means you look down on her, or lots of other thoughts stemming from insecurities that she might not even realize and then will take it out on you. It could affect the friendship and make things awkward. Probably better to avoid it altogether.
This. I'm not really sure how it's offensive??
I don't see why it is offensive either. I know a lot of teachers work part time or get summer jobs to supplement income.
I won't ask her. I will try to find another teacher. I want something more than a college student. Our next door teenager babysits my two older kids but I would not leave the baby with her.
It's VERY unlikely that you will find a teacher willing to do this, unless it's a brand new, straight out of college 22 year old, but I wish you luck.
Message edited 2/16/2017 9:05:46 PM.
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| Posted 2/16/17 9:05 PM |
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WonderLady
LIF Infant
Member since 1/15 355 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you feel offended if friend asked if you wanted to earn extra money?
Weird imo. Babysitting wouldn't be an offensive offer but to get paid to literally hang around you and your family- offensive. Traveling? No way. She's a grown woman with her own family. You need a young single type girl for the summer.
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| Posted 2/16/17 10:43 PM |
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Chai77
Brighter days ahead
Member since 4/07 7364 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you feel offended if friend asked if you wanted to earn extra money?
I don't know that I would be offended per se, but I would think it is extremely weird if my friend tried to hire me and I would feel very awkward and say NO. It's a dual relationship. In my field, it is considered unethical to enter into such an arrangement. I think it would negatively impact your friendship and is a bad idea.
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| Posted 2/17/17 12:04 AM |
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M514
Hi
Member since 8/10 6011 total posts
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Would you feel offended if friend asked if you wanted to earn extra money?
I would not ask a friend to do this. Don't mix business with pleasure. Recipe for disaster.
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| Posted 2/17/17 7:48 AM |
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NYCGirl80
I love my kiddies!
Member since 5/11 10413 total posts
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Re: Would you feel offended if friend asked if you wanted to earn extra money?
She has her own kids but you want her to travel with your family over the summer? 
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| Posted 2/17/17 8:50 AM |
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twizzlers
LIF Adolescent
Member since 11/14 874 total posts
Name:
x
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Would you feel offended if friend asked if you wanted to earn extra money?
I think it is weird. You want this "friend" to provide enrichment to your kids? This is not a "Friendship". I would be offended.
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| Posted 2/17/17 9:02 AM |
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Katareen
5,000 Posts!
Member since 4/10 7180 total posts
Name:
Katherine
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Would you feel offended if friend asked if you wanted to earn extra money?
From your post it seems there are no financial issues, why don't you just send your older kids to camp? Then you have all day just you and the baby.
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| Posted 2/17/17 9:10 AM |
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Bridex100
Two Under Two Mommy
Member since 3/08 10420 total posts
Name:
Momx100
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Re: Would you feel offended if friend asked if you wanted to earn extra money?
Posted by twizzlers
I think it is weird. You want this "friend" to provide enrichment to your kids? This is not a "Friendship". I would be offended.
I already said I won't be asking her.
I am looking into summer camps instead for my older children. I will do a mix of academic and fun camps.
We'll do a few beach weekend road trips with DH and our family friends.
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| Posted 2/17/17 9:11 AM |
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Bridex100
Two Under Two Mommy
Member since 3/08 10420 total posts
Name:
Momx100
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Re: Would you feel offended if friend asked if you wanted to earn extra money?
Posted by Katareen
From your post it seems there are no financial issues, why don't you just send your older kids to camp? Then you have all day just you and the baby.
That is what I plan on doing.
I thought it would be a great idea but obviously the overwhelming majority thinks it is an awful idea including DH.
I had these daydreams of one day taking my kids to Europe or Asia over the summer. If I didn't have the baby, I would probably have taken the two older kids to Europe for a month or two. I can't and won't do it with 3 kids alone.
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| Posted 2/17/17 9:15 AM |
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tourist
Member since 5/05 10425 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you feel offended if friend asked if you wanted to earn extra money?
If you do want to travel & have someone come with you, maybe you can hire someone to help with the boys, so you can focus on the baby more yourself if you don't trust other people with your infant.
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| Posted 2/17/17 11:24 AM |
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