Relationship with parents

Hi everyone. I'm curious what everyones relationship with their parents (especially their dads) is like. I have always had a "strained" relationship with my dad, not because of me....because of who he is, I guess. Now I'm an adult with 2 kids and he lives 3 hours away and I just wish it was different. I think I have a fairytale relationship in my head and I wonder if what I have in my head actually exists.

So, please...I'm curious - what is your relationship like with you dad?

Thanks everyone.

Relationship with parents

Nonexistent. My "father" is a horrid person who hates women. We haven't spoken or seen each other in 11 years. It was 12 before that. He's a drunk who will die alone with a bottle of Jameson. I have zero regrets about NOT having him in our life. He's toxic. Him missing out is his loss. I have an amazing husband and kid he will never get to enjoy.

I am very lucky to have a great step dad who has been the dad I needed.

Re: Relationship with parents

I am sorry you don't have the relationship you want with your dad. I'm sure that is not easy to deal with.

To answer your question though, I see my parents all the time, they live 2 minutes away, and we have a good relationship overall. I do tend to butt heads with my dad at times, he can be very stubborn and your typical "know it all" but that is easier to deal with now that I don't live at home. When I was a teenager he drove me INSANE, not so much now as an adult. They really love my DH and adore my kids so I can't complain too much, I am fortunate.

Re: Relationship with parents

Posted by Hofstra26

I am sorry you don't have the relationship you want with your dad. I'm sure that is not easy to deal with.

To answer your question though, I see my parents all the time, they live 2 minutes away, and we have a good relationship overall. I do tend to butt heads with my dad at times, he can be very stubborn and your typical "know it all" but that is easier to deal with now that I don't live at home. When I was a teenager he drove me INSANE, not so much now as an adult. They really love my DH and adore my kids so I can't complain too much, I am fortunate.

Relationship with parents

So sorry :(
My parents live 3 minute from us. I have an awesome relationship with both parents I talk to them multiple times a day and see them multiple times a week. I've never had it any different. You can say I haven't "cut the cord" from either of them! Grateful for the relationship I have with them.

Message edited 7/20/2016 10:55:23 AM.

Relationship with parents

My dad and I used to be super close in my late teens and early twenties. I've gradually distanced myself when I started to see how childish he really is. I just don't like really being around him. He complains he doesn't see us enough but we always have to make the effort to visit him. When he does come to visit it's like he can't wait to get out of here. I only speak to him about once a month. My mom I talk to about once a week or every other week. We get together more but she tries and makes an effort. We have our own issues but we are a lot closer than me and my dad.

Re: Relationship with parents

I have a great relationship with my parents - they are just awesome - they don't live in the same country as me so I do miss them terribly although we speak all the time and see each other twice a year if possible.

DH on the other hand has zero relationship with either of his parents. HIs dad is a selfish alcoholic how only asks for money when he sees him every 5 years or so...his mom is a complete selfish narcissistic a.hole so we basically have nothing to do with either of them. Sad for DH but my parents have taken him under their wing and treat him as a son which he loves.

Relationship with parents

I am sorry you have such a bad situation with your Dad, I see my parents once if not twice a week, I talk to them everyday and yy Dad is my right hand person with my kids. I call him my Manny. We have lunch every Wednesday.

Relationship with parents

I am sorry you have a bad relationship with your father.

Mine is just not completely there. Its not bad but its not amazing never had been. Hes a selfish, grouchy man who was verbally abusive when I was younger. So its just a hi how are you, good is mom there thats it. Thats the extent of our conversation.

I dont think fairy tale relationships exist we like to think they do but everyone's relationships are dysfunctional on some level. I have never met anyone who has some amazing unbelievable relationship.

Relationship with parents

My dad passed, but he and my mom divorced when I was young and he wasn't around much (due to his job). When I did see him, he was more of a friend then a father. He would talk to me on an even level, and I never was disciplined for the crazy sh*t I did. My mom was more of the disciplinarian. As he aged and got sick, he was remorseful for not being around. I wished I had a dad, and not a friend during the early teen years...My mom tried to fill the "dad" roll as best she could, but I wasn't an easy case then. I am sorry for your situation.

Re: Relationship with parents

I'm sorry you don't have the relationship you had hoped for with your dad. It really stinks.

Not every relationship is perfect and yours and your dads is no exception. My first therapist taught me a lot about "family". who they are and what they mean to different people. That's where I learned that blood doesn't make my family. Love, respect and caring does. As much as I love my blood relatives, my relationships with them are often strained because of who they are as people. I don't enjoy them, they aren't nice a lot of the time and I choose not to surround myself with people like that. Blood or no.

My relationship with my dad was cut short. He passed when I was 12. But up until that moment, he was my best friend. My eyes begin to tear just writing this. I hate that he isn't here with me physically, but know he's around , watching and caring for me.

My mom. She just turned 77. She's getting crotchety in her old age but I love her to death. She wasnt perfect. Our relationship was a cold one for a long time (a lot of history) but now, as an adult, I put my past hurt aside and enjoy our new relationship and the years we have left together.

I know it hurts thinking everyone but you has this one thing you want. But it's not true. Try focusing on your other relationships and bonds with your children. Put your focus there. So they always feel support and love from their parents.

Re: Relationship with parents

We own a 2 family home and my parents live in the apartment. My mom is my best friend. We spend everyday together. My dad and I are not that close. He is a man of very few words. He grew up with in a very dysfunctional family. Growing up he worked 3 jobs and gave us all the material things we needed and wanted but wasn't emotionally supportive. He is a much better grandpa than dad. He isn't a bad guy by any means. I just wish we could have had a better relationship.

ETA: Dh had hardly any relationship with his dad. He had 17 children and he never took care of any of them. He played mind games with his kids and was very cruel to dh mom after they split. Dh mom has mental health issues and left her kids to fend for themselves when they were young. Thank God my Dh has made the choice to be the best dad he can be and is the most amazing dad to our girls.

Message edited 7/21/2016 5:55:57 PM.

Re: Relationship with parents

I can't thank you all enough for your posts. Reading each one helped me more than you know. Sure, there are things that I wish were different between my dad and I, but I guess that many of us feel that way. I feel so blessed that my husband is the best daddy to our girls. It makes me happy to know that they are loved so much. Thank you again, for your honesty and for sharing from your hearts.

Relationship with parents

I have a better relationship with my dad than my mom most of the time. My mother and I have a rocky relationship at times. Right now it's ok but for awhile we weren't really speaking.