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LotsaLuv
Us
Member since 6/10 4094 total posts
Name:
F
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becoming a parishoner when you rarely go to mass?
I am Catholic, and go to church probably once or twice a year. My kids will make all of their sacraments. I do not feel I have to go to church every Sunday to profess my faith in God. My daughter knows about God, and will learn more about him in CCD.
I want her to make all sacraments in case she decides later on she wants to be more involved with her religion. I went to 8 years of Catholic school, and religion was just never my thing, but she may be more interested than I was/am, so she should have that choice.
When I was in Catholic school my mom would just mail the donation in the provided envelope. They never gave her a problem, they got the donation.
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Posted 3/7/16 8:39 AM  |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: becoming a parishoner when you rarely go to mass?
Posted by LotsaLuv
I am Catholic, and go to church probably once or twice a year. My kids will make all of their sacraments. I do not feel I have to go to church every Sunday to profess my faith in God. My daughter knows about God, and will learn more about him in CCD.
I want her to make all sacraments in case she decides later on she wants to be more involved with her religion. I went to 8 years of Catholic school, and religion was just never my thing, but she may be more interested than I was/am, so she should have that choice.
When I was in Catholic school my mom would just mail the donation in the provided envelope. They never gave her a problem, they got the donation.
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| Posted 3/7/16 8:43 AM |
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alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!
Member since 5/09 18388 total posts
Name:
Allison
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becoming a parishoner when you rarely go to mass?
I am Catholic and don't even go on all the holidays. My DS was baptized and will go to CCD. Whether I go to church or not doesn't make me a good or bad catholic.
I will never feel guilty about how I decide to practice my religion.
DS might go to Catholic school and they do track donations. Its because you get a reduced tuition rate based on the fact you will give a min of X number of dollars
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| Posted 3/7/16 9:13 AM |
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gina409
TWINS!
Member since 12/09 27635 total posts
Name:
g
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Re: becoming a parishoner when you rarely go to mass?
Posted by bunnyluck
Posted by summerBaby10
Thank you to those who gave me insight as to what their parish does. I have had a lot of religious education in my past & follow my religion as best as a can. I will admit that I can make more of an attempt in bringing my kids though so they can have a similar experience. This post got lost somewhere along the way & some of the comments are pretty rude & hurtful. Questioning if my religion is important to me & why bother. Really? It seems like going to mass every week isn't a guarantee to being a kind and thoughtful person. Attending every week doesn't make you a better Christian if you don't set that good example through words and actions.
Yes, practicing Catholic does not equal good Catholic.
Exactly
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| Posted 3/7/16 9:28 AM |
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FirstMate
My lil cowboy
Member since 10/10 7790 total posts
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Re: becoming a parishoner when you rarely go to mass?
In reading these responses, there seems to be a lot of difference in how the parishes present themselves and it seems that some of you have been really turned off and understandably so. If you are avoiding church because of the way your parish is, try a different one.
DH's former parish was an old school, fire and brimstone type of place. They refused to baptize SD because her parents weren't married. I thought that was disgraceful and could not understand why DH would remain in a parish that was so judgmental of a baby and insulting to him. Because of my DH's experience, I refused to be married there or to baptize DS1 there. We joined a parish in the town next to us.
My current parish is very welcoming. We joined when we had to baptize DS2 and had moved to the area. The monsignor was very down to earth and gets the daily struggles of the modern family. They have a lot of family oriented activities during the year to promote involvement. I think it's all about finding the right fit for your and your family.
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| Posted 3/7/16 11:38 AM |
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momtimes2
LIF Infant
Member since 4/14 333 total posts
Name:
stephanie
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Re: becoming a parishoner when you rarely go to mass?
Posted by LotsaLuv
I am Catholic, and go to church probably once or twice a year. My kids will make all of their sacraments. I do not feel I have to go to church every Sunday to profess my faith in God. My daughter knows about God, and will learn more about him in CCD.
I want her to make all sacraments in case she decides later on she wants to be more involved with her religion. I went to 8 years of Catholic school, and religion was just never my thing, but she may be more interested than I was/am, so she should have that choice.
When I was in Catholic school my mom would just mail the donation in the provided envelope. They never gave her a problem, they got the donation.
exactly my view 100%
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| Posted 3/7/16 12:16 PM |
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ohbaby08
Winter is Coming
Member since 10/07 1718 total posts
Name:
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becoming a parishoner when you rarely go to mass?
My son is making his communion in May and while they did give us a stack of envelopes to track his mass attendance, he is only required to attend 10 before he makes his communion. I can understand this because they want the children to have had experience going to mass and know what the mass is about. Also, they told us that we can put a small donation in the envelope or, there is a place on the envelope where the child can write a good deed that they did that week. The monetary donation is not required.
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| Posted 3/7/16 12:41 PM |
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blessedmama
LIF Infant
Member since 2/16 341 total posts
Name:
Heather`
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Re: becoming a parishoner when you rarely go to mass?
Posted by BaseballWidow
Our parish requires the kids in Relgious Ed to attend mass each week. If they miss too many masses they deny them the ability to make their communions or confirmations. They used to put bar codes into the collection basket but now they get something signed at the END of mass, on your way out the door. Not sure if we will stay in this parish when DD has to start classes, seems a bit much to me. As for collections we never use envelopes and just put cash in the basket...for both collections...when we do go.
Many churches make you hand in a card at mass and if you don't hand in as many as they require, you are not allowed to have your communion or to be confirmed. I understand the reasoning as why bother to do go to religion class but never attend church.
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| Posted 3/7/16 1:50 PM |
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MrsBumbleb
it's me
Member since 5/05 11234 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: becoming a parishoner when you rarely go to mass?
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by MrsBumbleb
Why do religious education then? What's the importance of Sacraments to you?
I'm not religious and not really a practicing Catholic............and I am OKAY with that, it's just who I am. After MUCH thought I really didn't want to bother putting my children through religious education because I felt like if we weren't practicing Catholics it seemed kind of silly to send them. However, DH, although not religious either, felt it was important they at least be exposed since we are *technically* Catholic and then down the road they will have some foundation from which they can then make their own decisions about their religion. I understood his point, agreed with him, and we sent our DD to religious ed. We look at religious ed as just another form of "educating" our kids regardless of how we do or don't practice Catholicism.
My DD is making her communion this year and she knows her prayers and is learning about the Catholic religion and we support her and answer any questions she has along the way. She's asked why we don't go to church and we're honest with her..............we tell her that Mommy and Daddy are not very religious and that we feel being a good person (or Catholic) doesn't mean sitting in a pew every week. We teach her that you need to be kind, compassionate, understanding, and a good person ALL of the time and THAT is what makes you a good Catholic. We've also explained that going to religious ed is no different than going to school, it's just another form of education which helps you to learn and grow as a person.
I understand why more religious, practicing Catholics wouldn't get why you'd put your child in religious ed and NOT go to church which is why I responded. IMO, no matter how religious you are OR aren't religion is VERY personal and people can be spiritual, religious, and practice in their own ways. That is why I would be bothered by the church "tracking" my attendance. Sitting in church is a VERY small part of what makes someone a good Catholic and a good person and whether I take my kids to church or not is NOBODY'S business except my own. It's just that simple. The fact that some people think they are "better" than others because they go to church OR can't understand that people have varying levels of belief, faith, and practice within their own religion is EXACTLY part of the reason why I dislike organized religion in the first place.
Sadly, in MY experience, I've run into many "very religious, church going, practicing Catholics" who are some of the most obnoxious, meanest, most selfish people I've ever met. I guess it's good they go to church though, God can cleanse their rotten souls every Sunday. At least I'm honest about my feelings and views on religion and do my best to be a good, kind person and raise my kids the same despite not taking them to church every week.
My only point was she seems not to be okay with the decision if she is experiencing guilt and embarrassment.
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| Posted 3/8/16 9:41 AM |
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Lucky09
2017!
Member since 1/06 7539 total posts
Name:
DW
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Re: becoming a parishoner when you rarely go to mass?
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by Katareen
Posted by HomeIsWithU
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by hidingin1516
we don't go to mass but we are parishioner's of our church. They have never questioned us. We had both kids baptized there. I wouldn't worry about it. DD will be going to religious ed next year and I plan on starting to go more frequently then.
Ditto.
I doubt they go through the envelopes every week and make a list of who attends and who doesn't.
What if you gave cash every week and didn't use envelopes, you know?
I know of several local churches in my area that absolutely check the envelopes and make note of who attends each week. In fact, a co-worker of mine was told by her Parish that her daughters weren't attending often enough and weren't donating enough. YES....you read that correctly....they guilted them into donating more at each collection. And this is at a parish that sends the baskets around TWICE per mass.
From my experience its quite common and especially when your children are in Sunday school, they're expected to attend mass weekly. DS is in religion now and he has to attend the children's service each week prior to church school.
My parents attend every single Sunday and actually stopped donating altogether (they gave quite a bit) because when my dad got injured and had to go on disability they received several harassing calls from the church demanding their usual donation. They didn't seem to care they took a financial hit. It was twisted.
That is disgusting, sad and disheartening
Growing up, my parents would receive statements of their donations and they had to sign contracts that they would donate a certain percentage of their total income to the Catholic church we were members of.
I did baptize my kids, but have been holding off on the Religious Ed aspect... Im not sure what I'm going to end up doing but wanted to say thank you to everyone for posting your thoughts - they are helping me to form an opinion on what to do.
Message edited 3/8/2016 9:45:29 PM.
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| Posted 3/8/16 9:35 PM |
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