How to stay positive

How do you stay positive in life when things seem so dreary. I lost my grandma in July to Cancer. Now we're waiting to find out if my mom has cancer. Doctors said that with the type of issues she is having they are 90% sure it's cancer and they want is to be prepared. My mom is my best friend, side kick and another mother to my children. She has never missed a day in my kids life except when we're on vacation. I'm trying to have hope, think positive but having just gone through 2 years of cancer hell with my grandma I can't see the bright side. What do you do to try to stay positive.

Re: How to stay positive

I know it's cliché but you try to stay positive and hope and pray. Pray that it's not cancer and pray that God forbid it is, you and your family stay strong and help her fight it. Maybe do some special things with her and the kids, to lift
Your spirits.

As someone who experienced so much loss, I've come to try to enjoy what we have now, not have regrets. I recently lost my grandmother to cancer, so I know how hard it is and cancer sucks. Sorry you and your family are going through this double whammy!

How to stay positive

please try to stay strong, if not for you, than for your mom! she will need you in these coming months. Praying everything works out well for her!

Re: How to stay positive

I don't have good advice for this besides, take time to take care of yourself and to try and enjoy the small moments.

my grandma died of cancer before i even got to meet her and now my mother is having a tough battle with cancer. i found out i have the cancer gene and they are recommending life altering preventative surgeries. its a hard spot to be in. Ive been very depressed since but i realize that i need to focus on the good things that I have here and now.

How to stay positive

In life there's ALWAYS going to be something that brings down our moods every now and then. Some minor, some major. My big thing that gets me through tough times is making those tough times as happy and good as they can be. A friend passed away from cancer when I was in college, however as hard as it was, enjoying positive memories made the tough days better for that person, and left me with lasting happy memories. I try and take time each day to be thankful, rather than annoyed, stressed, rude, or whatever else because little annoyances are just not that important. For example. I was driving to work about 65mph in the right lane some guy flashed me and Gave me the finger and screamed out his window move over- like really dude? Your that aggravated on the road at 6am? Every where I look people are always in a mood. rather than letting things bother me, I go with it, I don't let things ruin my days because it carries over to my family. The time I spend with family I want to be happy and positive because you just never know where life will take any of us. I also take time for me. I do one thing for myself a month like a massage, facial whatever just to take a step back and recenter. Try and turn something that may not be the best of times or happiest situations and make it the best you can. I pray your mom is ok, however, if you do have to face cancer again, use this time to be a support to your mom and do something to make you feel good and a reminder of the blessings you do have. Maybe do a project to donate to a hospital something to remind you that life can always be worse and remain grateful. It's so hard to stay positive sometimes it really is especially in the darkest moments. I get it, I have been there, but remembering all you have in life helps make these hard times easier. Prayers for you and your mom for positive news and brighter days!

How to stay positive

Very sorry to hear. I wish you all well. I believe in positive thinking and taking everything one day at a time.

Re: How to stay positive

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Sometimes it's really hard to stay strong. Life just kicks our ass.
My mom was diagnosed with melanoma a couple of years ago and the docs had originally thought it was a worse stage than it was. Well, it was one of the darkest times of my life. I was very depressed and didn't think I'd ever come out of if.
What helped was praying, and trying to think positive. It's hard, and it's also ok to be upset about things. But I let it 100% consume me. Distract yourself as much as you can. Lean on people who love you. Vent to people who love you. And I hope your mom is ok. I'll be praying very hard.

Re: How to stay positive

I've gone through this (hoping your mother does NOT have cancer!). I leaned heavily on dh. We made time to go out, do something to distract ourselves.

First my father was on treatment for lung cancer and passed in 2012 right after the hurricane. It was the worst time of my life. Then his uncle was diagnosed with lung cancer and this uncle was very close to dh, and the cycle started again. We were on a hamster wheel and couldn't get off.

We took any chance we could to get away or go to dinner or just a day trip or weekend at atlantic city. Anything.

Sending positive vibes and prayers

Re: How to stay positive

I am thinking good thoughts for your family. I know it's hard but I would maybe try to take your mind off of it until you hear something definite. I would definitely lean on others as much as you need to. Being around people will lift your spirits.

Re: How to stay positive

Posted by Mushesgirl

I've gone through this (hoping your mother does NOT have cancer!). I leaned heavily on dh. We made time to go out, do something to distract ourselves.

First my father was on treatment for lung cancer and passed in 2012 right after the hurricane. It was the worst time of my life. Then his uncle was diagnosed with lung cancer and this uncle was very close to dh, and the cycle started again. We were on a hamster wheel and couldn't get off.

We took any chance we could to get away or go to dinner or just a day trip or weekend at atlantic city. Anything.

Sending positive vibes and prayers

Message edited 3/7/2016 9:10:43 AM.

Re: How to stay positive

I know this is very hard. My mom took care of my grandmother. When she was taking care of her she was dx with breast cancer herself. My grandma passed and just 8 months later my mom passed. It was really hard to stay/be positive. Years have passed and sometimes im really down in the dumps. But i try to think of only the good times. And the great times left to come. Prayers for your mom and entire family

Re: How to stay positive

Sending good thoughts and prayers your way

Re: How to stay positive

I know this doesn't work for everyone, but for me, I have had a lot go on last few years and now some major things happening again.

I do yoga every morning and go for runs.

It just helps me focus on something external.

Depression can sap your energy and give you flu like symptoms so pushing through it is hard sometimes. I take a break when needed, so on days I don't have energy to run, i walk. On days i don't have energy to do an hour of yoga I do 30 minutes. I do a program online and I love it. You can find the right class to fit your time frame and intensity.

This has helped immensely.

Re: How to stay positive

It's so hard to stay positive during the diagnosis process.

Back in 2011, 2 weeks after my wedding, my mom started talking funny and my dad brought her to the ER, thinking she may have had a stroke. Which none of us would have ever expected since she is still so young and healthy, never smoked or drank...but turns out she had a brain tumor on her left lobe.

We were all besides ourselves - my mom is the rock of our family - she is an amazing women, and the thought of possibly losing her was completely unbearable.

Those next couple weeks were the darkest of my entire life - I cried everyday, all day. They said they wouldn't know the severity of the situation until they performed the surgery.

So she had the surgery, and they were able to remove the entire tumor - the following week, we got the diagnostic results. It was stage 3 malignant.

My mom fell into a deep depression, so did the rest of us. We tried to stay positive, but it was difficult.

The doctors didn't know if the cancer would reoccur and said only time would tell - the type of the tumor was slow growing, but has a 50/50 chance if regrowth. My mom went for scans every month, and then every 2 and now its been 5 years and she is still cancer free.

Moral of the story is, its OK to not feel positive and its OK to be scared. My mom was very lucky and there is a chance your mom could be too. Cancer isn't always a death sentence even though we are all programmed to think the worst.

Its still hard to deal with when she goes for her scans every 6 months, because you just never know. But we are all so incredibly thankful for this wonderful blessing - and we are all better people because of it. It just puts everything into perspective.

No matter what happens, I wish you and your family all the best and sending positive vibes and prayers your way!

Stay Strong!

Re: How to stay positive

How to stay positive

I am so very sorry your going through this. I say when your ready and when you have some more details from the dr. Try a proactive approach. Maybe go for a 2nd opinion at sloam ketterin if it is malignant. Try to find out holistic approaches. Knowledge can make you feel empowered and may help you feel a little better to know your doing everything humanly possible.
Prayer is always helpful.
And enjoying the good moments. Make the most of every second.
Just try to spin perspective because staying positive will help your mom stay positive and part of the battle is the outlook.