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summerBaby10
let's be nice
Member since 9/07 10208 total posts
Name:
Wifey
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becoming a parishoner when you rarely go to mass?
I need to become a parishioner so that I can sign ds up fpr religious ed but I am already starting to feel the guilt of not going to mass every sunday. I take the kids on holidays but would like to take them more often, which in my book is like once a month. I'm going to feel so embarrassed going that rarely & especially since they will use the donation envelopes to note your attendance. Anyone else feel the guilt if you have kids?
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Posted 3/4/16 12:41 PM  |
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luvmykids8
LIF Adult
Member since 9/15 2050 total posts
Name:
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becoming a parishoner when you rarely go to mass?
Same exact feelings. I have to sign up DD for religious ed soon & was thinking the same thing. Right now I only take them for holidays as well.
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| Posted 3/4/16 12:43 PM |
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hidingin1516
LIF Adult
Member since 9/15 1009 total posts
Name:
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becoming a parishoner when you rarely go to mass?
we don't go to mass but we are parishioner's of our church. They have never questioned us. We had both kids baptized there. I wouldn't worry about it. DD will be going to religious ed next year and I plan on starting to go more frequently then.
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| Posted 3/4/16 12:54 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: becoming a parishoner when you rarely go to mass?
Posted by hidingin1516
we don't go to mass but we are parishioner's of our church. They have never questioned us. We had both kids baptized there. I wouldn't worry about it. DD will be going to religious ed next year and I plan on starting to go more frequently then.
Ditto.
I doubt they go through the envelopes every week and make a list of who attends and who doesn't.
What if you gave cash every week and didn't use envelopes, you know?
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| Posted 3/4/16 12:56 PM |
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luvmykids8
LIF Adult
Member since 9/15 2050 total posts
Name:
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becoming a parishoner when you rarely go to mass?
My DH had to get a signature from our Father one day and he actually made a comment like you need to come more often or something like that. It seems they do note by the envelopes.
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| Posted 3/4/16 12:59 PM |
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JDubs
different, not less
Member since 7/09 13160 total posts
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Re: becoming a parishoner when you rarely go to mass?
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by hidingin1516
we don't go to mass but we are parishioner's of our church. They have never questioned us. We had both kids baptized there. I wouldn't worry about it. DD will be going to religious ed next year and I plan on starting to go more frequently then.
Ditto.
I doubt they go through the envelopes every week and make a list of who attends and who doesn't.
What if you gave cash every week and didn't use envelopes, you know?
Yes, this.
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| Posted 3/4/16 1:02 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: becoming a parishoner when you rarely go to mass?
Posted by luvmykids8
My DH had to get a signature from our Father one day and he actually made a comment like you need to come more often or something like that. It seems they do note by the envelopes.
I would have said, I do come often, I just put cash in the collection plate ,no envelope- to see his reaction 
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| Posted 3/4/16 1:04 PM |
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luvmykids8
LIF Adult
Member since 9/15 2050 total posts
Name:
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Re: becoming a parishoner when you rarely go to mass?
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by luvmykids8
My DH had to get a signature from our Father one day and he actually made a comment like you need to come more often or something like that. It seems they do note by the envelopes.
I would have said, I do come often, I just put cash in the collection plate ,no envelope- to see his reaction
Yea I know lol My DH didn't know what to say haha
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| Posted 3/4/16 1:05 PM |
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summerBaby10
let's be nice
Member since 9/07 10208 total posts
Name:
Wifey
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Re: becoming a parishoner when you rarely go to mass?
Posted by luvmykids8
My DH had to get a signature from our Father one day and he actually made a comment like you need to come more often or something like that. It seems they do note by the envelopes.
Yes, I kind of believe they do. Especially if a child from the family is involved at the school. They keep track of donations. My coworkers parish, discounts their sunday donations from their catholic school tuition.
Another Question-- How much do people donate nowadays? I remember my mom giving $5 every single sunday but $10 during holidays.
Message edited 3/4/2016 1:10:28 PM.
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| Posted 3/4/16 1:10 PM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
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Re: becoming a parishoner when you rarely go to mass?
I don't go to church and I'm not really a "practicing Catholic", I've just never been very religious. I actually was VERY seriously contemplating NOT sending my kids to religious ed at all but my DH felt like it was good to give them some education and foundation and let them make their own choices later on in life. So I said ok.
That being said, we still don't go to church and I'm OK with that. I don't feel guilty, I am who I am and my beliefs (and DH's) aren't going to change. My DD has only asked once why we don't go to church and we've explained that while we feel it's important she attend religious ed and learn about being Catholic, Mommy and Daddy just feel like you can be a good, practicing Catholic without going to church every week. If she really wanted to go, we'd take her (of course) but I *personally* feel that sitting in church every week doesn't make you a better person OR Catholic than anyone else so for that reason, I don't feel guilty about not going. Everyone has varying levels of belief and practice within their own religion and I'm not embarrassed at all over how I am handling things with my own kids, and you shouldn't be either!! 
............and if it makes you feel better you're at least going once a month which is one more time more than we're going.
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| Posted 3/4/16 1:25 PM |
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blu6385
Member since 5/08 8351 total posts
Name:
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Re: becoming a parishoner when you rarely go to mass?
Posted by luvmykids8
My DH had to get a signature from our Father one day and he actually made a comment like you need to come more often or something like that. It seems they do note by the envelopes.
that is ridiculous. what happens if you cant afford to put any money in.
this is one of my many issues with the Catholic church.
I am on the fence with even signing my kids up for religious classes.
Also some churches def. don't require/care if you go. my friends DD is making her communion this year and they never go to church.
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| Posted 3/4/16 1:28 PM |
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Sixofus
LIF Adolescent
Member since 10/13 594 total posts
Name:
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becoming a parishoner when you rarely go to mass?
We do parish pay-automatic withdrawal, no envelopes. We were good about going the years dc were making their communion, but other than that we rarely go. It is so hard getting everyone dressed up and out early on the weekend.
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| Posted 3/4/16 2:13 PM |
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LuckyStar
LIF Adult
Member since 7/14 7274 total posts
Name:
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becoming a parishoner when you rarely go to mass?
Wow, I went to book dd's christening a few weeks ago and they asked if I was a parishioner. I said no and that was that, they didn't tell me I needed to be. When I asked about cost they said I was welcome to give a donation but it wasn't necessary (I will, of course).
I obviously got lucky!
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| Posted 3/4/16 2:55 PM |
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HomeIsWithU
Baby #2 on the way!
Member since 9/07 7816 total posts
Name:
Jenn
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Re: becoming a parishoner when you rarely go to mass?
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by hidingin1516
we don't go to mass but we are parishioner's of our church. They have never questioned us. We had both kids baptized there. I wouldn't worry about it. DD will be going to religious ed next year and I plan on starting to go more frequently then.
Ditto.
I doubt they go through the envelopes every week and make a list of who attends and who doesn't.
What if you gave cash every week and didn't use envelopes, you know?
I know of several local churches in my area that absolutely check the envelopes and make note of who attends each week. In fact, a co-worker of mine was told by her Parish that her daughters weren't attending often enough and weren't donating enough. YES....you read that correctly....they guilted them into donating more at each collection. And this is at a parish that sends the baskets around TWICE per mass.
From my experience its quite common and especially when your children are in Sunday school, they're expected to attend mass weekly. DS is in religion now and he has to attend the children's service each week prior to church school.
Message edited 3/4/2016 3:14:11 PM.
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| Posted 3/4/16 3:13 PM |
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hidingin1516
LIF Adult
Member since 9/15 1009 total posts
Name:
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becoming a parishoner when you rarely go to mass?
Maybe they do keep track of envelopes but they can't make you go. It's their job to try and get you to go more often.
I don't think it makes anyone better than the next just b/c they go every week. I have never gone weekly. I only did up to communion. I want my kids to learn more than I did, so they will go. We will go when we see fit, during their time in religious ed. I can't promise every Sunday and they can't tell me I HAVE to go.
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| Posted 3/4/16 3:22 PM |
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BargainMama
LIF Adult
Member since 5/09 15660 total posts
Name:
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becoming a parishoner when you rarely go to mass?
Yup they do absolutely check. If you want to send your child to a catholic school, they know how much you have put in the offering in your parish.
Believe me when I say OP, you are not alone in wanting to sign up for religious ed but don't go to church regularly. I know many many people that only go when forced to in order for their child to make their sacraments. They usually have "homework" for religious ed, and also require signed bulletins to prove you were in church. So prepare yourself for that once you enroll.
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| Posted 3/4/16 3:37 PM |
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Re: becoming a parishoner when you rarely go to mass?
Our parish requires the kids in Relgious Ed to attend mass each week. If they miss too many masses they deny them the ability to make their communions or confirmations. They used to put bar codes into the collection basket but now they get something signed at the END of mass, on your way out the door. Not sure if we will stay in this parish when DD has to start classes, seems a bit much to me. As for collections we never use envelopes and just put cash in the basket...for both collections...when we do go.
Message edited 3/4/2016 3:45:26 PM.
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| Posted 3/4/16 3:44 PM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: becoming a parishoner when you rarely go to mass?
Posted by BaseballWidow
Our parish requires the kids in Relgious Ed to attend mass each week. If they miss too many masses they deny them the ability to make their communions or confirmations. They used to put bar codes into the collection basket but now they get something signed at the END of mass, on your way out the door. Not sure if we will stay in this parish when DD has to start classes, seems a bit much to me. As for collections we never use envelopes and just put cash in the basket...for both collections...when we do go.
What a load of c@p that is. And the church wonders why they keep losing people.  If that were my Parish I'd either change or drop religious ed all together. I don't need the church policing what I do every week with my time and money.
Message edited 3/4/2016 3:51:58 PM.
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| Posted 3/4/16 3:51 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: becoming a parishoner when you rarely go to mass?
Posted by BaseballWidow
Our parish requires the kids in Relgious Ed to attend mass each week. If they miss too many masses they deny them the ability to make their communions or confirmations. They used to put bar codes into the collection basket but now they get something signed at the END of mass, on your way out the door. Not sure if we will stay in this parish when DD has to start classes, seems a bit much to me. As for collections we never use envelopes and just put cash in the basket...for both collections...when we do go.
Bar codes in the collection basket? Like you have to scan something with your iphone to prove you were there?
Why don't they just put house arrest ankle bracelets on everyone to keep track of who is attending and for how long they stay?
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| Posted 3/4/16 4:02 PM |
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abcdefghi
LIF Adolescent
Member since 5/13 685 total posts
Name:
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becoming a parishoner when you rarely go to mass?
The bar codes are on the envelopes to input how much you donated every week. At the end of the year, you receive a paper with the total amount so you could include it on your taxes as a donation.
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| Posted 3/4/16 4:08 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: becoming a parishoner when you rarely go to mass?
Posted by abcdefghi
The bar codes are on the envelopes to input how much you donated every week. At the end of the year, you receive a paper with the total amount so you could include it on your taxes as a donation.
Yes that I know. I didn't realize that was what she meant.
We do get a tax statement for donations.
I guess they could use that to track attendance if attendance is mandatory for religious ed
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| Posted 3/4/16 4:13 PM |
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MommaG
Yay Spring!
Member since 5/05 5133 total posts
Name:
Gloria
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becoming a parishoner when you rarely go to mass?
It doesn't sound like religion really matters to you, so why send your kids at all? Not being snarky, I just never understood the "holidays only" idea. It doesn't make sense to me. Just teach them what you want them to know at home and if they are interested when they're older they can learn more.
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| Posted 3/4/16 4:23 PM |
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MrsD121011
LIF Adult
Member since 5/12 1460 total posts
Name:
Elicia
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becoming a parishoner when you rarely go to mass?
My pastor is well aware of who is attending and who isn't because he stands at the door at the end of each service and greets each parishoner as they file out. We moved churches when we moved to Lindy but are going to go back to original church in Islip. I called the church the other day to find out about transitioning back and my pastore picked up the phone rembered my husband by name. I was floored! They absolutley notice who is attending and it isn't just about the money. A good pastor/priest knows his people because his congregation is the life blood of the church and if you want the church to provide support and education to your child I feel like the least we can do is attend services regularly. JMO.
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| Posted 3/4/16 4:31 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: becoming a parishoner when you rarely go to mass?
Posted by MrsD121011
My pastor is well aware of who is attending and who isn't because he stands at the door at the end of each service and greets each parishoner as they file out. We moved churches when we moved to Lindy but are going to go back to original church in Islip. I called the church the other day to find out about transitioning back and my pastore picked up the phone rembered my husband by name. I was floored! They absolutley notice who is attending and it isn't just about the money. A good pastor/priest knows his people because his congregation is the life blood of the church and if you want the church to provide support and education to your child I feel like the least we can do is attend services regularly. JMO.
Is the pastor at every mass though? My church has so many masses spread out between Saturday evening and Sunday all day.... the pastor only officiates at a few, the rest, the other priests take.
I guess if it's a small church, I could see that, but in larger churches with several masses and a lot of people at each mass, I can't see how the pastor could personally see and speak to each one.
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| Posted 3/4/16 4:37 PM |
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summerBaby10
let's be nice
Member since 9/07 10208 total posts
Name:
Wifey
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Re: becoming a parishoner when you rarely go to mass?
Posted by MrsD121011
if you want the church to provide support and education to your child I feel like the least we can do is attend services regularly. JMO.
Thank you for this comment. I can appreciate what you meant by it & took it in a positive way.
I just came back b/c I thought about what I wrote & I feel like it could sound sarcastic but it's not. I promise- lol
Message edited 3/4/2016 4:55:59 PM.
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| Posted 3/4/16 4:50 PM |
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