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DM1983
LIF Zygote
Member since 2/16 1 total post
Name:
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Who to invite to graduation
I am currently a surgery resident and I am graduating this year. I have a limited amount of tickets and my wife and I have been arguing over this for weeks with no resolve. The issue is who will take the tickets. Of course, my wife will take one ticket and my parents will take two tickets. After that is a mess since I will only have 4 tickets. My wife wants her mother to be there and she wants me to try to get an extra ticket for her husband (they got married recently and he is not her father but he is obviously very supportive of us. I would like to invite my grandmother and if I can get an extra ticket my brother. I am willing to invite my mother-in-law if i can get an additional extra ticket instead of my sister-in-law. She thinks I am being selfish and is threatening divorce. Am I being unfair and/or selfish with my wishes? Should I risk my marriage and put my 3 sons at risk for my grandmother and brother? Should I disrespect my family just to appease my wife? Thanks for your help.
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Posted 2/28/16 9:34 AM  |
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Blazesyth
*yawn*
Member since 5/05 8129 total posts
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Who to invite to graduation
IMO if your wife is threatening divorce over something like this, then there are either larger problems or this is not the woman for you.
This should be a time of happiness for YOU so it should be YOUR decision on who to invite. Shame on her for not being able to understand it is not about her and just to tell her family there are not enough tickets for them to attend. (Do you even know if these people WANT to attend?)
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| Posted 2/28/16 10:07 AM |
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Re: Who to invite to graduation
Posted by Blazesyth
IMO if your wife is threatening divorce over something like this, then there are either larger problems or this is not the woman for you.
This should be a time of happiness for YOU so it should be YOUR decision on who to invite. Shame on her for not being able to understand it is not about her and just to tell her family there are not enough tickets for them to attend. (Do you even know if these people WANT to attend?)
I completely agree.
I would, personally, invite my grandmother.
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| Posted 2/28/16 10:31 AM |
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pumpkinmom
LIF Adult
Member since 5/12 2912 total posts
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Who to invite to graduation
You should invite the people closest to you to the graduation. Then have the others join you for a lunch or dinner following the graduation.
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| Posted 2/28/16 10:54 AM |
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Lara&Aidansmommy
For mom i miss u ETC ILOVEU
Member since 3/07 13921 total posts
Name:
ETC I LOVE YOU
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Re: Who to invite to graduation
Take grandma, tell your wife to kiss it. Lol jk
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| Posted 2/28/16 11:11 AM |
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Re: Who to invite to graduation
Your wife is being selfish and needs to grow up. The day isn't about her. When its her day she can invite her family. Bring your grandmother. I would always regret it if I were in your shoes and didn't.
I agree with the other poster who said if she is threatening divorce over this then there are bigger problems. Tell her not to let the door hit her on her way out.
Message edited 2/28/2016 11:27:06 AM.
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| Posted 2/28/16 11:26 AM |
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ElizaRags35
My 2 Girls
Member since 2/09 20494 total posts
Name:
Me
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Who to invite to graduation
Grandmother or brother. Your wife is being extremely unreasonable and sorry to say, a mega b*tch
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| Posted 2/28/16 11:31 AM |
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Katareen
5,000 Posts!
Member since 4/10 7180 total posts
Name:
Katherine
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Who to invite to graduation
It's YOUR graduation, your choice
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| Posted 2/28/16 11:49 AM |
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MsSissy
xoxoxo
Member since 3/07 39159 total posts
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Re: Who to invite to graduation
Tell your wife if she keeps it up, she won't be going either That way you can take grandma and your brother!
I agree with the others.
And although I'm sure she's done a lot to support you to get you were you are today, it's still YOUR day. You decide who you want to take.
I would hope her mother would understand. I absolutely would.
Just have everyone else meet up for lunch or something afterwards to celebrate.
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| Posted 2/28/16 12:04 PM |
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LSP2005
Bunny kisses are so cute!
Member since 5/05 19461 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: Who to invite to graduation
Your grandma or your brother, all others can join you of lunch afterwards. Frankly, your wife is being selfish. If this is her line in the sand, I would call her bluff, and say fine we can start divorce proceedings before graduation so she can't claim a legal interest in either your degree or medical license, or future earnings. Frankly, at a minimum I would get a postnup over this. Your wife is 10000% wrong and selfish.
Message edited 2/28/2016 2:51:06 PM.
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| Posted 2/28/16 2:48 PM |
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RainyDay
LIF Adult
Member since 6/15 3999 total posts
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Who to invite to graduation
It would be much more meaningful to have your grandmother there than your mother in law. Its your day not your wife's
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| Posted 2/28/16 5:57 PM |
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pjt212301
LIF Adult
Member since 7/12 1215 total posts
Name:
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Re: Who to invite to graduation
Posted by pumpkinmom
You should invite the people closest to you to the graduation. Then have the others join you for a lunch or dinner following the graduation.
I agree with this.
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| Posted 2/28/16 6:06 PM |
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Re: Who to invite to graduation
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Message edited 3/7/2016 3:10:25 PM.
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| Posted 2/28/16 6:41 PM |
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LulaBell
:)
Member since 1/06 3508 total posts
Name:
J
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Who to invite to graduation
Yikes. I received my doctorate last year and 4 tickets as well. My husband didn't even chime in w his advice as to who would come. I invited him, my mom, my sister, and my oldest DD (5 at the time). If my gram were alive she would have gotten my first ticket. Sorry you have to go through this. I can't believe she threatened divorce
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| Posted 2/28/16 6:45 PM |
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MrsG823
Just call me Mommy.
Member since 1/11 5570 total posts
Name:
S
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Who to invite to graduation
You should choose who attends your graduation. I agree with previous poster's who stated if your wife is threatening to divorce you because you want to invite your grandmother to your graduation over your mother in law it is a symptom of bigger issues in the relationship.
When I graduated with my PhD my husband did not comment on who I invited to graduation he was simply thrilled I was finally finished training.
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| Posted 2/28/16 9:42 PM |
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sunnyplus3
:)
Member since 11/05 8749 total posts
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Who to invite to graduation
I didn't read all the replies but maybe your Grandma & your MIL(without her husband)
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| Posted 2/29/16 8:47 AM |
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nraboni
Uggh...
Member since 10/09 6905 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Who to invite to graduation
Hands down the 4th ticket should go to your Grandmother. If you are able to get another ticket then you should take your brother.
This is about YOU and all the hard work that YOU did. In no way should your wife's family be there over your Grandmother and Brother.
After the ceremony, go out to a restaurant to celebrate and invite all of the other people.
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| Posted 2/29/16 10:03 AM |
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JDubs
different, not less
Member since 7/09 13160 total posts
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Re: Who to invite to graduation
Agree with others- it's your day and you should invite who you want, everyone else can go celebrate with you afterward. And yes IMO something is wrong if she is threatening divorce over this...
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| Posted 2/29/16 10:08 AM |
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Paramount
Sweet!
Member since 7/12 4289 total posts
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Who to invite to graduation
I am angry for you. Your wife is being a child. I agree with the first poster. If she is threatening divorce if you don't do what she says then you have MUCH bigger problems.
1. Its a cruel thing to say. Period.
2. Is this how it HAS been? Going to be? She threatens divorce if she does not get her way?
3. Is she serious? Will she ACTUALLY divorce you if you don't bring her mom?
My DH and I agreed that we would NEVER say the D word. Ever. It would only be said if we ACTUALLY wanted a divorce. So for her to say it (and I assume she is not 100% willing to go through with it) its a nasty cruel and manipulative thing to say.
And if she is doing it now.......
I say you sit down with her. Let her know you would like to bring everyone but you cant. What you want to do is bring your grandmother as its very important to have her there. You guys will host a lunch at a restaurant/your house/wherever after so everyone can celebrate.
Im sorry she has made this so difficult and cant see your side.
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| Posted 2/29/16 10:21 AM |
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blu6385
Member since 5/08 8351 total posts
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Re: Who to invite to graduation
Posted by LSP2005
Your grandma or your brother, all others can join you of lunch afterwards. Frankly, your wife is being selfish. If this is her line in the sand, I would call her bluff, and say fine we can start divorce proceedings before graduation so she can't claim a legal interest in either your degree or medical license, or future earnings. Frankly, at a minimum I would get a postnup over this. Your wife is 10000% wrong and selfish.
 your MIL and her husband should be way low on the list. why would your wife think that they should be there over your grandmother or brother? this is not HER graduation, or your kids graduation it is yours and you grandmother should be there to see it.
she sounds like she is trying to be a controlling *****! and honestly I would hope your MIL would insist that your grandmother go over her. I know my mom would never even make this argument nor accept the ticket.
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| Posted 2/29/16 10:27 AM |
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NYCGirl80
I love my kiddies!
Member since 5/11 10413 total posts
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Re: Who to invite to graduation
Posted by Katareen
It's YOUR graduation, your choice
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| Posted 2/29/16 12:54 PM |
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