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klingklang77
kraftwerk!
Member since 7/06 11489 total posts
Name:
Völlig losgelöst
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Facebook and bad news
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Thanks!
Message edited 1/14/2016 7:42:15 AM.
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Posted 1/13/16 9:19 AM  |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Facebook and bad news
This is something that really really irks me to no end.
Nothing is private anymore Nothing is sacred. I don't know but if I found out someone I loved passed away suddenly and tragically like that, the LAST thing I would be thinking of would be jumping on facebook to post about it for attention.
But then again, if I am in the ER, the last thing I am thinking about is checking in there or posting a pic of myself with the IV in. And I see that shitt all the time too.
So maybe it's just me.
I'm so sorry for your loss. What a tragic thing.
Prayers for your family.
Message edited 1/13/2016 9:39:35 AM.
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| Posted 1/13/16 9:39 AM |
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Momma2015
Mommax2
Member since 12/12 6656 total posts
Name:
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Re: Facebook and bad news
Maybe he just can't face making the calls that need to be made and doesn't want to leave the onus on the deceased's wife. I do agree though, FB is a shittty way to find out about something so tragic. I'm so sorry for your loss.
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| Posted 1/13/16 9:40 AM |
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Paramount
Sweet!
Member since 7/12 4289 total posts
Name:
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Facebook and bad news
I'm so sorry about your cousin. We recently went through something similar. Everyone knew the family member was sick. But once that person passed we told people who needed to know, waited half the day to make sure family knew, then posted it.
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| Posted 1/13/16 9:47 AM |
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DaniJude
You're My Home <3
Member since 11/06 14815 total posts
Name:
Danielle
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Re: Facebook and bad news
OMG that's awful. I'm so sorry. And yes, you have every right to be upset. This is why the news media and police departments withhold information about deceased people pending notification of next of kin and other family members. Because no one should have to find out on the news or via Facebook that their loved one passed away. I'm so very sorry for this on top of suffering your loss. Prayers to you and your loved ones - especially his wife and unborn child. 
Message edited 1/13/2016 9:53:06 AM.
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| Posted 1/13/16 9:52 AM |
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Xelindrya
Mommy's little YouTube Star!
Member since 8/05 14470 total posts
Name:
Veronica
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Re: Facebook and bad news
When my Dad died my aunt and uncle (his brother and sister) knew. Before I posted on FB my farewell, which I had posted before it was bad since he was in hospice... my Cousin (from his deceased older brother) had posted her farewell to her uncle (my dad) it was slightly annoying.
But frankly. My father had died. Nothing was more devastating. Still nothing is. Nothing was going to change it. I knew she meant no harm. I had to accept that my father wasn't my personal property. He was loved by many and touched the hearts of all. So when others were commenting on her post I could say nothing but "Thank you, my father would appreciate your thoughts".
It's facebook. It is the equivalent gossip with a typewriter. They'd have done it without the social media outlet. They still do. Just this Christmas, I had to stand in a kitchen and chit chat how I am the daughter of the dead brother in law. Seriously. No I'm not. I'm a woman who lost her father as you have lost yours, you get that right? Mine died in my 30s yours died while you were in your 60s. She finally shut up.
People will always love a train wreck and the more personal, the better.
They feel that since you share personal stories you are ok with personal stories being shared and talked about. It's all fair. If you don't want it, don't have facebook. Don't look. Don't Listen.
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| Posted 1/13/16 9:55 AM |
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StaceyWill
It's a girl!!!
Member since 6/10 21539 total posts
Name:
Stacey
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Re: Facebook and bad news
I am so sorry for your loss!!
And yes, you have every right to be upset. Facebook sucks. It really does. I can't wait until it just goes away like My Space did.
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| Posted 1/13/16 9:56 AM |
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JennZ
MY LIFE!!
Member since 8/05 25463 total posts
Name:
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Re: Facebook and bad news
Tacky. But since it was HIS brother who posted it, I wouldn't be annoyed. I'm just so over FB.
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| Posted 1/13/16 9:57 AM |
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Mags1227
Just a mommy ...
Member since 10/10 2665 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Facebook and bad news
I can understand you being annoyed. It's a private matter and a shock.
I can also understand posting it on FB. I write it once, everyone knows, I don't have to repeat it over and over or talk to people and can take the time to try to deal with the death.
I posted when my grandmother died 5 years ago. I did it so my friends would understand why I was not jolly and happy during the holiday season (she died a week before Christmas) I was not capable of talking about it. Every time I tried, i'd break down. Posting it gave me an option to let everyone know, feel their love and support, and not have to be touched or talked to (which would have made me worse not better)
i'm very sorry for your loss. Sending prayers for your cousin's family.
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| Posted 1/13/16 10:27 AM |
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FirstMate
My lil cowboy
Member since 10/10 7790 total posts
Name:
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Re: Facebook and bad news
No, that really pisses me off too. I don't like learning of any significant news regarding people who are close to me through Facebook. I remember when my cousin, who I am super close to, posted on FB that she got engaged. I thought she was joking. It's just tacky. I'm sorry for your loss.
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| Posted 1/13/16 10:30 AM |
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Aries14
Can't plan life...
Member since 8/08 2860 total posts
Name:
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Re: Facebook and bad news
Posted by JennZ
Tacky. But since it was HIS brother who posted it, I wouldn't be annoyed. I'm just so over FB.
I agree with this. I would be annoyed if it was my brother that someone else posted about but since it was his then I think that this is just his way of handling and dealing with it.
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| Posted 1/13/16 10:38 AM |
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cds58019
The loves of my life :)
Member since 6/08 4276 total posts
Name:
Candice
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Facebook and bad news
I can understand why it's not the ideal way to find things out. But from a different point of view it's much easier for a person to type something up for a majority of their friends and family to see instead of having to make phone call after phone call getting upset all over again and answering the same questions.
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| Posted 1/13/16 10:42 AM |
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klingklang77
kraftwerk!
Member since 7/06 11489 total posts
Name:
Völlig losgelöst
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Re: Facebook and bad news
Thank you everyone for your T&Ps.
I understand what you all mean about posting it in order to not have to keep telling everyone. It's just the time frame with how it happened. It was like so quick. It's just so shocking  .
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| Posted 1/13/16 10:50 AM |
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Facebook and bad news
Im sorry for your loss :(
I will start this though (not directed at you, OP) but not everything people post on Fb is for attention. I read this a lot (mainly here on LIF). People have close friends, family, coworkers on their fb for the most part. If they share something, with people they feel close to, it's not always attention seeking. It's sharing info. Just like if you tell your friends in real life or coworkers something. I also agree it's easier to tell a bunch of people at once. And maybe people do need some support. It's not always some "look at me" factor at play. I've never shared something like that on fb, haven't had anything tragic happen (knock on wood) but I don't immediately roll my eyes and think "what an attention whore/nothing is private anymore".
I've had a few friends disclose sad events on Facebook and I just feel for them. It may not be what I would have done, but .. They are friends. I don't care how the message was delivered, KWIM? It's also probably easier than sending a text to a bunch of people.
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| Posted 1/13/16 10:53 AM |
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KGools
Happy
Member since 9/06 9532 total posts
Name:
Kim
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Re: Facebook and bad news
I'm so sorry for your loss and I know EXACTLY what you mean.
When my grandfather passed away my cousin blasted it all over Facebook and I PM'd her to let her know that not everyone in the family had been notified and to remove the post immediately. ASS!
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| Posted 1/13/16 10:58 AM |
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BargainMama
LIF Adult
Member since 5/09 15660 total posts
Name:
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Re: Facebook and bad news
Posted by EatingMyVeggies
Im sorry for your loss :(
I will start this though (not directed at you, OP) but not everything people post on Fb is for attention. I read this a lot (mainly here on LIF). People have close friends, family, coworkers on their fb for the most part. If they share something, with people they feel close to, it's not always attention seeking. It's sharing info. Just like if you tell your friends in real life or coworkers something. I also agree it's easier to tell a bunch of people at once. And maybe people do need some support. It's not always some "look at me" factor at play. I've never shared something like that on fb, haven't had anything tragic happen (knock on wood) but I don't immediately roll my eyes and think "what an attention whore/nothing is private anymore".
I've had a few friends disclose sad events on Facebook and I just feel for them. It may not be what I would have done, but .. They are friends. I don't care how the message was delivered, KWIM? It's also probably easier than sending a text to a bunch of people.
This exactly
Sorry for your loss
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| Posted 1/13/16 11:05 AM |
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klingklang77
kraftwerk!
Member since 7/06 11489 total posts
Name:
Völlig losgelöst
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Re: Facebook and bad news
Posted by KGools
When my grandfather passed away my cousin blasted it all over Facebook and I PM'd her to let her know that not everyone in the family had been notified and to remove the post immediately.
Exactly this! I've got close family and his close friends on there saying WHAT???? It's a big mess.
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| Posted 1/13/16 11:07 AM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Facebook and bad news
How ever did we survive before Facebook?
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| Posted 1/13/16 11:37 AM |
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BabyHopes2
LIF Adult
Member since 4/13 1058 total posts
Name:
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Re: Facebook and bad news
oh wow I am so sorry to hear this, how tragic.
This has happened to me as well. My cousin posted "RIP to my brother ...." I was at work and screamed I was shaking, my cousin was only 26 years old. I call my mom frantic asking if she knew and she didn't know. I called my cousin who posted the status and she didn't answer and then she deleted her comment. I couldn't believe I found out on Facebook, I guess she didn't realize what she was doing she was in shock.
Message edited 1/13/2016 11:59:57 AM.
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| Posted 1/13/16 11:56 AM |
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bunnyluck
LIF Adult
Member since 1/14 3196 total posts
Name:
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Facebook and bad news
Sorry for your loss. This happened to a friend recently. Their family member died out of state and it was posted on FB by a friend before his family informed him. So, so terrible.
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| Posted 1/13/16 12:43 PM |
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KarenK122
The Journey is the Destination
Member since 5/05 4431 total posts
Name:
Karen
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Facebook and bad news
So sorry for your loss. I lost my cousin over the summer and they same thing happened. I first thought it was a stupid joke because she was so healthy and it was so sudden but then my mother called and it was true.
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| Posted 1/13/16 12:50 PM |
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ineedababynow
LIF Infant
Member since 9/15 328 total posts
Name:
ap
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Re: Facebook and bad news
When people are shocked, their mind goes out the window and really don't think about what they are doing. So his natural reaction was to go on, not thinking about who knew and who didn't. It was his brother.
I agree with you that it absolutely sucks. And I'm so sorry for your loss.
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| Posted 1/13/16 1:52 PM |
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gina409
TWINS!
Member since 12/09 27635 total posts
Name:
g
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Re: Facebook and bad news
Posted by cds58019
I can understand why it's not the ideal way to find things out. But from a different point of view it's much easier for a person to type something up for a majority of their friends and family to see instead of having to make phone call after phone call getting upset all over again and answering the same questions.
This
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| Posted 1/13/16 4:58 PM |
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klingklang77
kraftwerk!
Member since 7/06 11489 total posts
Name:
Völlig losgelöst
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Re: Facebook and bad news
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Message edited 1/14/2016 7:43:01 AM.
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| Posted 1/13/16 8:41 PM |
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RainyDay
LIF Adult
Member since 6/15 3999 total posts
Name:
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Facebook and bad news
The immediate family is overwhelmed and not thinking clearly. Atleast it was his brother that broke the news instead of some random long distant relative. It sucks that you had to find out the way you did and I am sorry for your loss.
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| Posted 1/13/16 8:49 PM |
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