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chilltocam
LIF Adult
Member since 11/11 9141 total posts
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Re: Kings Park Sexting Scandal - High School
Posted by Mrs213
I'm a parent. I say let them all get suspended. Even if they received it they should have gone to their parents or a school official. I'm pretty sure it's illegal to be in possession of video of underage people having sex. Sucks but we all have to learn our lessons in life as we all did when we were younger...
I agree with this - if they didn't report it to someone (parent or school authority) there should be some type of consequence. DH and I did tell my SS that if he ever receives anything like that, he should tell us right away. But, as a step-parent of a teen, it's frightening to think he could be dragged in to something, even if he did the right thing and deleted it right away and then told us about it.
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Posted 11/10/15 12:54 PM  |
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busymomonli
Resident Insomniac
Member since 4/13 2053 total posts
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Kings Park Sexting Scandal - High School
Some parents are arguing that a good portion of the football players got the video and did not get suspended because there was an important game this weekend. If that's true, it's really messed up.
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| Posted 11/10/15 12:58 PM |
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MichLiz213
Life is Good!
Member since 7/07 7979 total posts
Name:
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Re: Kings Park Sexting Scandal - High School
Posted by FirstMate
Posted by MrsT809
Posted by MichLiz213
The kids aren't getting suspended because they received it. They are getting suspended because they received it and never reported it. According to Newsday this was going on for TEN DAYS before someone was notified.
Exactly. If all we teach the "nice kids" is to not get involved then this is going to keep happening. If they learn that they have a responsibility to stand up against it then maybe we will get somewhere.
I don't know how old this girl was but even if she was 14 that's somebody's daughter. What if she was 12? Then would you expect them to report it? What if she were younger? I'm not saying I think she was but at some point we'd all agree that it needs to be stopped do why not at any age? If someone reported it 10 days ago it wouldn't be anywhere near this out of control. How many kids just ignored it while it continued to be passed around?
The concept of all of this is well and good. I totally agree with you. The reality of the situation is nobody wants to rat on their friends or be involved at all. That is the reality at any age. Unless it directly effects YOU, how often do you get involved in a messy or even illegal situation pertaining to your peers? Do we report our friends who recreationally use drugs? Drive intoxicated? Cheat on their taxes? Probably not. So why would we expect teenagers to tell on their peers? We would like to think and hope that they would but I think kids are too immature, worried about themselves, their own reps and the social consequences to be "expected" to report it.
I have a 16 year old SD. We have had repeated conversations with her about this type of thing ever since she got a phone. My SD is a great kid. She does not like it when kids are shamed or bullied or embarrassed at school. She always sticks up for those who can't for themselves. She's very sensitive to that. I know if she got a video like that she would never pass it along. That being said, we would be furious if she was suspended for receiving the video. It would cause her to miss school, miss sports, miss her clubs and goes on her record which could jeopardize her college applications. That's not fair. It's definitely not fair to the girl in the video that she is being so exposed without her knowledge or consent but I don't think that should extend to schoolmates who did not voluntarily participate in this poor girl's humiliation.
I understand your point of view, but I have to disagree that they did not voluntary participate in this poor girl's humiliation. Again, this went on for ten days before someone said anything. By not saying anything, it contributed to this girl's humiliation.
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| Posted 11/10/15 1:05 PM |
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mnmsoinlove
Mommy to 2 sweet girls!
Member since 3/09 8585 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: Kings Park Sexting Scandal - High School
Posted by MrsT809
The Newsday article says students who only received it got less days suspension, I think one, bc they didn't report it add they should have. I think they are making am example which is fine with me. The video was going around for 10 days with kids huddled around phones watching in the cafeteria. Terrible.
I agree I think a day of suspension is a good punishment for not reporting it. This type of thing makes me sick. Hopefully this will serve for a learning example to all.
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| Posted 11/10/15 1:21 PM |
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MsSissy
xoxoxo
Member since 3/07 39159 total posts
Name:
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Re: Kings Park Sexting Scandal - High School
Posted by busymomonli
Some parents are arguing that a good portion of the football players got the video and did not get suspended because there was an important game this weekend. If that's true, it's really messed up.
If this is true, that's some example they are setting for these kids. Unreal!
I would be LIVID and making the biggest stink about this!
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| Posted 11/10/15 1:24 PM |
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MrsT809
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 12167 total posts
Name:
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Re: Kings Park Sexting Scandal - High School
Posted by MichLiz213
Posted by FirstMate
Posted by MrsT809
Posted by MichLiz213
The kids aren't getting suspended because they received it. They are getting suspended because they received it and never reported it. According to Newsday this was going on for TEN DAYS before someone was notified.
Exactly. If all we teach the "nice kids" is to not get involved then this is going to keep happening. If they learn that they have a responsibility to stand up against it then maybe we will get somewhere.
I don't know how old this girl was but even if she was 14 that's somebody's daughter. What if she was 12? Then would you expect them to report it? What if she were younger? I'm not saying I think she was but at some point we'd all agree that it needs to be stopped do why not at any age? If someone reported it 10 days ago it wouldn't be anywhere near this out of control. How many kids just ignored it while it continued to be passed around?
The concept of all of this is well and good. I totally agree with you. The reality of the situation is nobody wants to rat on their friends or be involved at all. That is the reality at any age. Unless it directly effects YOU, how often do you get involved in a messy or even illegal situation pertaining to your peers? Do we report our friends who recreationally use drugs? Drive intoxicated? Cheat on their taxes? Probably not. So why would we expect teenagers to tell on their peers? We would like to think and hope that they would but I think kids are too immature, worried about themselves, their own reps and the social consequences to be "expected" to report it.
I have a 16 year old SD. We have had repeated conversations with her about this type of thing ever since she got a phone. My SD is a great kid. She does not like it when kids are shamed or bullied or embarrassed at school. She always sticks up for those who can't for themselves. She's very sensitive to that. I know if she got a video like that she would never pass it along. That being said, we would be furious if she was suspended for receiving the video. It would cause her to miss school, miss sports, miss her clubs and goes on her record which could jeopardize her college applications. That's not fair. It's definitely not fair to the girl in the video that she is being so exposed without her knowledge or consent but I don't think that should extend to schoolmates who did not voluntarily participate in this poor girl's humiliation.
I understand your point of view, but I have to disagree that they did not voluntary participate in this poor girl's humiliation. Again, this went on for ten days before someone said anything. By not saying anything, it contributed to this girl's humiliation.
Not to mention, no one knows what each of these kids did our didn't do with the video. They may not have sent it but they could have watched it 10 times or watched it with friends before deleting. Every one of these parents is going to claim their kid immediately erased it bc everyone thinks their kid is a good kid. Listen to that dad on the news, all he did was defend his son and undermine the principal.
Clearly this is a learning situation for everyone bc it didn't have to go on the way it did. No one wants to rat out their friends but is their friendship with these boys more important than anything else? That's part of if what's wrong with our society. I'm not saying it's an easy black and white situation but we need to do more bc this crap needs to stop.
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| Posted 11/10/15 1:25 PM |
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Mrs213
????????
Member since 2/09 18986 total posts
Name:
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Re: Kings Park Sexting Scandal - High School
What it comes down to is that in the eyes of the law, minors are not able to give consent for sex so really it's is sexual assault, but it gets a littles weird since everyone involved is a minor. If this started getting in the hands of people over 18 you better believe they'd be arrested. It's one of those situations where I feel the administrators have no choice but to get everyone in trouble because of how serious this kind if thing is and to punish one but not another then you get a gray area, and there is a lesson to bel learned here. It might not be fair to get suspended for receiving it but anyone can say "hey they only sent it to me I didn't watch it" but who knows if that's true. Just like if you are riding in a car with someone who has weed and it's not yours, guess what? You're all getting busted. Unfortunately in this day and age sometimes you just need to learn the hard way...
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| Posted 11/10/15 1:30 PM |
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busymomonli
Resident Insomniac
Member since 4/13 2053 total posts
Name:
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Kings Park Sexting Scandal - High School
Does anyone know what social media platform was used in this case? I'm just curious.
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| Posted 11/10/15 1:58 PM |
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KarenK122
The Journey is the Destination
Member since 5/05 4431 total posts
Name:
Karen
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Kings Park Sexting Scandal - High School
Unfortunately kids are going to get caught in the cross-hairs here. If they got the video, even if they did not ask for it, and then watched it, they deserve to be held accountable. I really hope the school is stepping up awareness on this issue and making every single kid in both district take internet safety courses.
I do agree that out of school suspension for those that just received it may be a little too much as it will go on their record, but maybe should have received in-school suspension or detention instead. Anyone that send it or received it and forwarded it should be fully suspended if not more. The kids need to learn consequences.
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| Posted 11/10/15 1:59 PM |
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Pomegranate5
LIF Adult
Member since 2/11 4798 total posts
Name:
Pomegranate5
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Re: Kings Park Sexting Scandal - High School
Posted by Mrs213
What it comes down to is that in the eyes of the law, minors are not able to give consent for sex so really it's is sexual assault, but it gets a littles weird since everyone involved is a minor. If this started getting in the hands of people over 18 you better believe they'd be arrested. It's one of those situations where I feel the administrators have no choice but to get everyone in trouble because of how serious this kind if thing is and to punish one but not another then you get a gray area, and there is a lesson to bel learned here. It might not be fair to get suspended for receiving it but anyone can say "hey they only sent it to me I didn't watch it" but who knows if that's true. Just like if you are riding in a car with someone who has weed and it's not yours, guess what? You're all getting busted. Unfortunately in this day and age sometimes you just need to learn the hard way...
I agree. I would be upset if my child got the video and was suspended, but in the long run I'd rather they learn that lesson now with a suspension than an arrest.
And God forbid I was the mother of the girl in the video I'd be sick knowing how many people knew and did nothing. I don't care if they are teenagers, they ARE old enough to know better and excusing their silence does them a disservice. I would like to think we are raising this next generation of kids better than that.
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| Posted 11/10/15 2:10 PM |
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blue11
LIF Adult
Member since 2/11 1706 total posts
Name:
kat
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Re: Kings Park Sexting Scandal - High School
Posted by Pomegranate5
Posted by Mrs213
What it comes down to is that in the eyes of the law, minors are not able to give consent for sex so really it's is sexual assault, but it gets a littles weird since everyone involved is a minor. If this started getting in the hands of people over 18 you better believe they'd be arrested. It's one of those situations where I feel the administrators have no choice but to get everyone in trouble because of how serious this kind if thing is and to punish one but not another then you get a gray area, and there is a lesson to bel learned here. It might not be fair to get suspended for receiving it but anyone can say "hey they only sent it to me I didn't watch it" but who knows if that's true. Just like if you are riding in a car with someone who has weed and it's not yours, guess what? You're all getting busted. Unfortunately in this day and age sometimes you just need to learn the hard way...
I agree. I would be upset if my child got the video and was suspended, but in the long run I'd rather they learn that lesson now with a suspension than an arrest.
And God forbid I was the mother of the girl in the video I'd be sick knowing how many people knew and did nothing. I don't care if they are teenagers, they ARE old enough to know better and excusing their silence does them a disservice. I would like to think we are raising this next generation of kids better than that.
 i agree. everyone is focusing on the supsended kids - what if it was your daughter on the video and no one did anything to stop it? I bet then people would be demanding action against anyone who saw it and didn't report it. It scares me the world these kids are growing up in.
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| Posted 11/10/15 2:28 PM |
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Jacquelina
LIF Adolescent
Member since 10/11 767 total posts
Name:
Jacqueline
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Re: Kings Park Sexting Scandal - High School
Posted by blue11
Posted by Pomegranate5
Posted by Mrs213
What it comes down to is that in the eyes of the law, minors are not able to give consent for sex so really it's is sexual assault, but it gets a littles weird since everyone involved is a minor. If this started getting in the hands of people over 18 you better believe they'd be arrested. It's one of those situations where I feel the administrators have no choice but to get everyone in trouble because of how serious this kind if thing is and to punish one but not another then you get a gray area, and there is a lesson to bel learned here. It might not be fair to get suspended for receiving it but anyone can say "hey they only sent it to me I didn't watch it" but who knows if that's true. Just like if you are riding in a car with someone who has weed and it's not yours, guess what? You're all getting busted. Unfortunately in this day and age sometimes you just need to learn the hard way...
I agree. I would be upset if my child got the video and was suspended, but in the long run I'd rather they learn that lesson now with a suspension than an arrest.
And God forbid I was the mother of the girl in the video I'd be sick knowing how many people knew and did nothing. I don't care if they are teenagers, they ARE old enough to know better and excusing their silence does them a disservice. I would like to think we are raising this next generation of kids better than that.
i agree. everyone is focusing on the supsended kids - what if it was your daughter on the video and no one did anything to stop it? I bet then people would be demanding action against anyone who saw it and didn't report it. It scares me the world these kids are growing up in.
totally agree with all of this
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| Posted 11/10/15 2:55 PM |
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skew
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 6794 total posts
Name:
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Re: Kings Park Sexting Scandal - High School
Posted by KarenK122
Unfortunately kids are going to get caught in the cross-hairs here. If they got the video, even if they did not ask for it, and then watched it, they deserve to be held accountable. I really hope the school is stepping up awareness on this issue and making every single kid in both district take internet safety courses.
I do agree that out of school suspension for those that just received it may be a little too much as it will go on their record, but maybe should have received in-school suspension or detention instead. Anyone that send it or received it and forwarded it should be fully suspended if not more. The kids need to learn consequences.
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| Posted 11/10/15 9:55 PM |
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seaside
LIF Adult
Member since 6/08 3101 total posts
Name:
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Re: Kings Park Sexting Scandal - High School
Watching it and passing it along are punishable. But receiving and deleting?
If she was too young to give consent, how were kids who were never told about any duty to report old enough to intuit that they had one?
Unless they were told?
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| Posted 11/10/15 10:00 PM |
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2BadSoSad
LIF Adult
Member since 8/12 6791 total posts
Name:
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Re: Kings Park Sexting Scandal - High School
I think parents need to stop defending their kids even if they just "received" it. Hell, I can tell you for sure in my house if my son received this message and DIDNT report it to me or the school, I would have ZERO problem with him being suspended for it. A lesson in "if you are not part of the solution, you are part of the problem." This is the problem, parents jump to defend their children instead of teaching them consequences for their actions or in this case inaction.
Message edited 11/11/2015 3:02:16 PM.
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| Posted 11/11/15 10:15 AM |
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2BadSoSad
LIF Adult
Member since 8/12 6791 total posts
Name:
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Re: Kings Park Sexting Scandal - High School
Posted by busymomonli
Does anyone know what social media platform was used in this case? I'm just curious.
Just texting
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| Posted 11/11/15 10:18 AM |
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busymomonli
Resident Insomniac
Member since 4/13 2053 total posts
Name:
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Re: Kings Park Sexting Scandal - High School
Posted by 2BadSoSad
Posted by busymomonli
Does anyone know what social media platform was used in this case? I'm just curious.
Just texting
Hmph. I assumed with all the blame on social media that it was like Snapchat or something. Interesting.
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| Posted 11/11/15 10:28 AM |
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Pumpkin1
LIF Adult
Member since 12/05 3715 total posts
Name:
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Re: Kings Park Sexting Scandal - High School
Posted by 2BadSoSad
I think parents need to stop defending their kids even if they just "received" it. Hell, I can tell you for sure in my house if my son received this message and DIDNT report it to me or the school, I would have ZERO problem with him being suspended for it. A lesson in "if you are not part of the solution, you are part of the problem." This is the problem, bc parents jump to defend their children instead of teaching them consequences for their actions or in this case inaction.
I can't like this post enough.
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| Posted 11/11/15 12:00 PM |
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olive98
LIF Adolescent
Member since 11/12 791 total posts
Name:
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Re: Kings Park Sexting Scandal - High School
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| Posted 11/11/15 12:04 PM |
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amlmom
LIF Zygote
Member since 9/15 21 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: Kings Park Sexting Scandal - High School
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| Posted 11/11/15 1:08 PM |
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justbeachy
So close....
Member since 7/07 2900 total posts
Name:
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Re: Kings Park Sexting Scandal - High School
Posted by 2BadSoSad
I think parents need to stop defending their kids even if they just "received" it. Hell, I can tell you for sure in my house if my son received this message and DIDNT report it to me or the school, I would have ZERO problem with him being suspended for it. A lesson in "if you are not part of the solution, you are part of the problem." This is the problem, bc parents jump to defend their children instead of teaching them consequences for their actions or in this case inaction.
Amen.
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| Posted 11/11/15 1:32 PM |
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WannaBeAMom11
LIF Adult
Member since 1/11 7391 total posts
Name:
Name
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Re: Kings Park Sexting Scandal - High School
I'm 100% in agreement.
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| Posted 11/11/15 2:13 PM |
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TheDivineMrsM
2 girls 4 me!
Member since 8/08 7878 total posts
Name:
Mama mama mama....
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Re: Kings Park Sexting Scandal - High School
Posted by 2BadSoSad
I think parents need to stop defending their kids even if they just "received" it. Hell, I can tell you for sure in my house if my son received this message and DIDNT report it to me or the school, I would have ZERO problem with him being suspended for it. A lesson in "if you are not part of the solution, you are part of the problem." This is the problem, bc parents jump to defend their children instead of teaching them consequences for their actions or in this case inaction.
THANK YOU!!
I'm a NYC high school guidance counselor, and we are MANDATED every year to talk about technology/internet safety with the entire school. These kids KNOW that if they "see something, say something." They might not have asked for the text or the video, but those kids knew the contents were no bueno. And for ten days, nothing. If it were my kid, I'd be really disappointed. And that would be if they just received it. If they forwarded it, I would be livid. Forwarding the video could be considered distributing child pornography, which I'm pretty sure is a felony... so a suspension is definitely a lighter punishment.
To the PP that mentioned college admissions: I've also worked with students that had to answer the "have you ever been suspended?" question on college apps. They need to be honest about what they did and what they learned. Generally, one bad choice isn't going to screw up their chances of college admissions.
Message edited 11/11/2015 2:47:22 PM.
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| Posted 11/11/15 2:46 PM |
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JennCo
My greatest joy is my baby boy
Member since 1/07 2772 total posts
Name:
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Re: Kings Park Sexting Scandal - High School
the kids that were suspended for receiving it got less time AND they were suspended b/c they didn't tell an adult to report it.
It's a lesson learned for them. I, as a parent, would tell my kid if they were suspended.....that's what you get when you dont report something that you should know is wrong!
My parents used to tell me about the days when if they got in trouble in school they were PETRIFIED to go home, b/c they'd get it even worse from their parents. Whatever happened to that? I guess I'm old school, but the school needs to teach the kids a lesson and their suspension isn't wrong. At.All.
All the parents telling their kids to go to school anyway and teach these kids that they don't need to respect the rules of the school, is what is the matter with kids today!
Message edited 11/11/2015 3:44:35 PM.
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| Posted 11/11/15 3:40 PM |
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JennCo
My greatest joy is my baby boy
Member since 1/07 2772 total posts
Name:
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Re: Kings Park Sexting Scandal - High School
Posted by 2BadSoSad
I think parents need to stop defending their kids even if they just "received" it. Hell, I can tell you for sure in my house if my son received this message and DIDNT report it to me or the school, I would have ZERO problem with him being suspended for it. A lesson in "if you are not part of the solution, you are part of the problem." This is the problem, parents jump to defend their children instead of teaching them consequences for their actions or in this case inaction.
Absolutely 100% agree. You said this so much better than my jumbled mess above!
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| Posted 11/11/15 3:41 PM |
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