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Another Duggar on the Way
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Re: Another Duggar on the Way
Posted by ElizaRags35
Posted by StarsStripes
What's with cousin amy? Who side of the family is she on because it doesn't seem as if she is as strict at all!
Jim Bob's. I follow her on IG. From what it looks like on there, she has a life and a boyfriend who she hugs and kisses (among other things?).
Yes and odd that she hasn't been on the show lately. Hmmm....
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Posted 4/23/15 7:44 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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ElizaRags35
My 2 Girls
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Re: Another Duggar on the Way
Posted by afternoondelight828
Posted by ElizaRags35
Posted by StarsStripes
What's with cousin amy? Who side of the family is she on because it doesn't seem as if she is as strict at all!
Jim Bob's. I follow her on IG. From what it looks like on there, she has a life and a boyfriend who she hugs and kisses (among other things?).
Yes and odd that she hasn't been on the show lately. Hmmm....
But she always posts pictures of her and her cousins.
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| Posted 4/23/15 8:03 PM |
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mommy2B3
2 boys 2 girls!!!!
Member since 7/08 3324 total posts
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M
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Re: Another Duggar on the Way
Posted by MC09
I don't think anyone is saying it's a bad thing that they're 19 and having a baby. I personally don't care that they are. It doesn't sway me either way because it's their life to do with as they please. Not sure why so many people who had children and/or married young are internalizing the comments on this thread and feeling like it's a personal attack against their lifestyle. I'm going to assume those posters who married young or had children young did so under completely different circumstances than these people who are basically doing it because that's all they know and are taught from a young age.
I do have an honest question though for those posters that did marry young or had kids at a young age (I'm talking young enough that it may impact college and career choices.. so under 21)... do you want the same for your child? Do you want (or would you be okay with) your child forgoing their education and career choices and getting married and having kids that young as well? I'm genuinely curious. To answer my own question... I didn't marry or have kids at that age, but I know that I personally wouldn't be okay with it for my children (of course, I know they'd technically be an adult at that point if this happened when they were 18 and could do as they please, but I wouldn't be happy with it.)
I can't speak for other young wives/moms, but for me, I can't tell you how many people were against DH and I getting married simply because of our age. I had a friend say on my wedding video that she would like to see how we are doing in 10 years, and not in the friendly type of way obviously. I also have been asked countless times if I trapped my DH or if he just married me because I was pregnant. The fact is people are too stupid to realize my DS was born a year after we got married and not 7-9 months later, or can't relate to young people falling in love and not wanting to wait 10 years to show our love in front of God.
But getting back to your question.. I don't believe getting married at a certain age will keep anybody together, there is no magic number or magic circumstance for people to fall in love and stay in love. With that said, if one of my kids wanted to get married young, I would hope it's because it's true love, not in the fairytale sense, but that they understand the responsibility that comes with vows, and obviously having children. And I also don't think my getting married and having children young interrupted any part of my education or career path for DH or myself. I have a BS and a MS, while I don't work outside of the house, it's not that I can't, it's simply because I love raising my kids. My DH has also done wonderfully in his career, while he is only 31, he has skyrocketed in his field and we were able to pay cash for both our house and my mini van in 2014. So honestly I think it depends on the people, some people can marry young and stay together or divorce just the same as an older couple. For DH and I we have been blessed with growing together, and not apart and hopefully I can say that in 20, 50 years from now.
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| Posted 4/23/15 8:48 PM |
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MC09
arrrghhh!!!!
Member since 2/09 5674 total posts
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Re: Another Duggar on the Way
Posted by mommy2B3
Posted by MC09
I don't think anyone is saying it's a bad thing that they're 19 and having a baby. I personally don't care that they are. It doesn't sway me either way because it's their life to do with as they please. Not sure why so many people who had children and/or married young are internalizing the comments on this thread and feeling like it's a personal attack against their lifestyle. I'm going to assume those posters who married young or had children young did so under completely different circumstances than these people who are basically doing it because that's all they know and are taught from a young age.
I do have an honest question though for those posters that did marry young or had kids at a young age (I'm talking young enough that it may impact college and career choices.. so under 21)... do you want the same for your child? Do you want (or would you be okay with) your child forgoing their education and career choices and getting married and having kids that young as well? I'm genuinely curious. To answer my own question... I didn't marry or have kids at that age, but I know that I personally wouldn't be okay with it for my children (of course, I know they'd technically be an adult at that point if this happened when they were 18 and could do as they please, but I wouldn't be happy with it.)
I can't speak for other young wives/moms, but for me, I can't tell you how many people were against DH and I getting married simply because of our age. I had a friend say on my wedding video that she would like to see how we are doing in 10 years, and not in the friendly type of way obviously. I also have been asked countless times if I trapped my DH or if he just married me because I was pregnant. The fact is people are too stupid to realize my DS was born a year after we got married and not 7-9 months later, or can't relate to young people falling in love and not wanting to wait 10 years to show our love in front of God.
But getting back to your question.. I don't believe getting married at a certain age will keep anybody together, there is no magic number or magic circumstance for people to fall in love and stay in love. With that said, if one of my kids wanted to get married young, I would hope it's because it's true love, not in the fairytale sense, but that they understand the responsibility that comes with vows, and obviously having children. And I also don't think my getting married and having children young interrupted any part of my education or career path for DH or myself. I have a BS and a MS, while I don't work outside of the house, it's not that I can't, it's simply because I love raising my kids. My DH has also done wonderfully in his career, while he is only 31, he has skyrocketed in his field and we were able to pay cash for both our house and my mini van in 2014. So honestly I think it depends on the people, some people can marry young and stay together or divorce just the same as an older couple. For DH and I we have been blessed with growing together, and not apart and hopefully I can say that in 20, 50 years from now.
For me, it wouldn't even be about divorce because that is a risk for any couple no matter what age they decide to marry, kwim?. It would be more of me wanting them to graduate college, have a career, and have some life experiences before they settled down (ideally, hopefully)... but everyone does things differently. I don't think it's wrong to marry young and I don't necessarily think that they wouldn't be able to do those things if they married or had children young, but it would certainly be more challenging. I just would want my children to live their lives a bit before they take on a family, but that's just me.
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| Posted 4/23/15 9:22 PM |
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LIRascal
drama. daily.
Member since 3/11 7287 total posts
Name:
Michelle
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Re: Another Duggar on the Way
Posted by gina409
I don't follow these shows but are they trying to get pregnant
What I mean is I get they don't use birth control but are they doing it around ovulation etc
Like why don't they want to just be married for a bit
They have to give in to their husbands at all times. I guess if their husbands want it on O day, then it is what it is...
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| Posted 4/23/15 11:33 PM |
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JSDB
<3
Member since 1/13 1329 total posts
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Re: Another Duggar on the Way
I don't follow the Duggars except the big announcements like this that come up on facebook or that I read in tabloids at the nail salon. But I did read this entire post. Just a few thoughts:
- I do think it's "sad" to me -- not that they are married and had a baby at 19/20, but the nature of the cult-like upbringing that denies the women (and to some extent the men) meaningful cjoices about their life but it is their way and as long as they seem happy it's not really my business. There are plenty worse. This is a wanted baby who will be cared for. . Their age isn't it for me -- plenty of people get married young, have babies young or younger.
- I don't particularly like the family and strongly disagree with their beliefs on social issues and find it annoying that they make big bucks for pimping their family out on TV and then use a lot of their money to lobby for particular extreme beliefs but if they shared my beliefs and used their money to support those beliefs (as many celebs do) I wouldn't mind. So it's more frustration that they are adding tons of people out there and funding in support of beliefs I disagree with. They certainly can do that... Yes their beliefs are hateful and in my opinion wrong but in our society they are allowed to have those beliefs and lobby for them so all I can really be is annoyed at it.
- to respond to the substantive comments about gay marriage, to me it is 100% a civil right and I do believe one day that will be our country's view on it. And separation of church and state while diluted in today's politics and society was and is supposed to be a key principle upon which our country was founded. You can have your religious beliefs but shouldn't impose them on others. With respect to marriage, it is a civil and religious institution and the marriage license is given by the state. I don't think churches should be forced to marry people, but those people should be able to get legally married by judges, religious institutions who will marry them, etc. As long as marriage has any legal benefits and has taken on a meaning and role outside of religion. And I haaaate when certain religions try to control what non believers do. in my opinion it's like saying Jews are the majority and strongly believe that you shouldn't eat pig products bc it's against their religion. Fine! But should they prevent everyone else including non Jews from being able to buy and consume pig products? Not to me in a society with separation of church and state. Should kosher groceries be forced to carry ham? Not to me, but it can be available elsewhere. And the "right" to eat ham is not a right and not anywhere close to equal to the right to get married (and to get the many various legal and economic benefits afforded to married couples) which to me is a basic human right. JMO.
-- as someone who struggled to have my second child i feel bad for the duggar that will inevitably have trouble having children as their family members are perpetually pregnant
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| Posted 4/24/15 4:19 AM |
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Re: Another Duggar on the Way
Posted by secretlyTTCagain
I don't follow the Duggars except the big announcements like this that come up on facebook or that I read in tabloids at the nail salon. But I did read this entire post. Just a few thoughts:
- I do think it's "sad" to me -- not that they are married and had a baby at 19/20, but the nature of the cult-like upbringing that denies the women (and to some extent the men) meaningful cjoices about their life but it is their way and as long as they seem happy it's not really my business. There are plenty worse. This is a wanted baby who will be cared for. . Their age isn't it for me -- plenty of people get married young, have babies young or younger.
- I don't particularly like the family and strongly disagree with their beliefs on social issues and find it annoying that they make big bucks for pimping their family out on TV and then use a lot of their money to lobby for particular extreme beliefs but if they shared my beliefs and used their money to support those beliefs (as many celebs do) I wouldn't mind. So it's more frustration that they are adding tons of people out there and funding in support of beliefs I disagree with. They certainly can do that... Yes their beliefs are hateful and in my opinion wrong but in our society they are allowed to have those beliefs and lobby for them so all I can really be is annoyed at it.
- to respond to the substantive comments about gay marriage, to me it is 100% a civil right and I do believe one day that will be our country's view on it. And separation of church and state while diluted in today's politics and society was and is supposed to be a key principle upon which our country was founded. You can have your religious beliefs but shouldn't impose them on others. With respect to marriage, it is a civil and religious institution and the marriage license is given by the state. I don't think churches should be forced to marry people, but those people should be able to get legally married by judges, religious institutions who will marry them, etc. As long as marriage has any legal benefits and has taken on a meaning and role outside of religion. And I haaaate when certain religions try to control what non believers do. in my opinion it's like saying Jews are the majority and strongly believe that you shouldn't eat pig products bc it's against their religion. Fine! But should they prevent everyone else including non Jews from being able to buy and consume pig products? Not to me in a society with separation of church and state. Should kosher groceries be forced to carry ham? Not to me, but it can be available elsewhere. And the "right" to eat ham is not a right and not anywhere close to equal to the right to get married (and to get the many various legal and economic benefits afforded to married couples) which to me is a basic human right. JMO.
-- as someone who struggled to have my second child i feel bad for the duggar that will inevitably have trouble having children as their family members are perpetually pregnant
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| Posted 4/24/15 10:26 AM |
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2boys1girl
and one more girl on the way!
Member since 5/10 2954 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Another Duggar on the Way
Posted by MC09
Posted by mommy2B3
Posted by MC09
I don't think anyone is saying it's a bad thing that they're 19 and having a baby. I personally don't care that they are. It doesn't sway me either way because it's their life to do with as they please. Not sure why so many people who had children and/or married young are internalizing the comments on this thread and feeling like it's a personal attack against their lifestyle. I'm going to assume those posters who married young or had children young did so under completely different circumstances than these people who are basically doing it because that's all they know and are taught from a young age.
I do have an honest question though for those posters that did marry young or had kids at a young age (I'm talking young enough that it may impact college and career choices.. so under 21)... do you want the same for your child? Do you want (or would you be okay with) your child forgoing their education and career choices and getting married and having kids that young as well? I'm genuinely curious. To answer my own question... I didn't marry or have kids at that age, but I know that I personally wouldn't be okay with it for my children (of course, I know they'd technically be an adult at that point if this happened when they were 18 and could do as they please, but I wouldn't be happy with it.)
I can't speak for other young wives/moms, but for me, I can't tell you how many people were against DH and I getting married simply because of our age. I had a friend say on my wedding video that she would like to see how we are doing in 10 years, and not in the friendly type of way obviously. I also have been asked countless times if I trapped my DH or if he just married me because I was pregnant. The fact is people are too stupid to realize my DS was born a year after we got married and not 7-9 months later, or can't relate to young people falling in love and not wanting to wait 10 years to show our love in front of God.
But getting back to your question.. I don't believe getting married at a certain age will keep anybody together, there is no magic number or magic circumstance for people to fall in love and stay in love. With that said, if one of my kids wanted to get married young, I would hope it's because it's true love, not in the fairytale sense, but that they understand the responsibility that comes with vows, and obviously having children. And I also don't think my getting married and having children young interrupted any part of my education or career path for DH or myself. I have a BS and a MS, while I don't work outside of the house, it's not that I can't, it's simply because I love raising my kids. My DH has also done wonderfully in his career, while he is only 31, he has skyrocketed in his field and we were able to pay cash for both our house and my mini van in 2014. So honestly I think it depends on the people, some people can marry young and stay together or divorce just the same as an older couple. For DH and I we have been blessed with growing together, and not apart and hopefully I can say that in 20, 50 years from now.
For me, it wouldn't even be about divorce because that is a risk for any couple no matter what age they decide to marry, kwim?. It would be more of me wanting them to graduate college, have a career, and have some life experiences before they settled down (ideally, hopefully)... but everyone does things differently. I don't think it's wrong to marry young and I don't necessarily think that they wouldn't be able to do those things if they married or had children young, but it would certainly be more challenging. I just would want my children to live their lives a bit before they take on a family, but that's just me.
It was this comment that made me chime in: "Lordy, can you imagine being a dad at 19/20?"
I was a young mom and wife so I wanted to add that yes I can imagine and it's also not even out of the norm in this day and age. Heck my mother was married at 19 had me at 20. We had our own place and did everything on our own never asking our parents for anything..still to this day I'm 30 and have owned 2 homes so far and make a really good salary and can give my kids everything they need and want. It was the responsibility at a young age that taught me how to be a better person who worked hard. Too many young people nowadays do diddly squat. I think we always picture the american dream life for our children college, job, marriage, house, child etc.but it doesn't have to go in that order at all. I'm sure we all know that an individual is going to make their own life choices and if there independent than why shouldn't they?
I cannot tell you how many grown adults our age (me and DH) still either live with or off their parents some how WITH kids (and your talking 30's) have had their parents pay for part or all of their homes, employ them, co-sign cars, loans etc. Free child care, paid vacations etc. So why I may not agree with some of the view points of the Duggars I can't see how many people can point out that its an issue cause their parents help them out. So what? Take a look around you I'm sure everyone can name a few people they personally know.
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| Posted 4/24/15 12:11 PM |
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Ayne11
Yep
Member since 1/09 18021 total posts
Name:
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Re: Another Duggar on the Way
Posted by 2boys1girl
Posted by MC09
Posted by mommy2B3
Posted by MC09
I don't think anyone is saying it's a bad thing that they're 19 and having a baby. I personally don't care that they are. It doesn't sway me either way because it's their life to do with as they please. Not sure why so many people who had children and/or married young are internalizing the comments on this thread and feeling like it's a personal attack against their lifestyle. I'm going to assume those posters who married young or had children young did so under completely different circumstances than these people who are basically doing it because that's all they know and are taught from a young age.
I do have an honest question though for those posters that did marry young or had kids at a young age (I'm talking young enough that it may impact college and career choices.. so under 21)... do you want the same for your child? Do you want (or would you be okay with) your child forgoing their education and career choices and getting married and having kids that young as well? I'm genuinely curious. To answer my own question... I didn't marry or have kids at that age, but I know that I personally wouldn't be okay with it for my children (of course, I know they'd technically be an adult at that point if this happened when they were 18 and could do as they please, but I wouldn't be happy with it.)
I can't speak for other young wives/moms, but for me, I can't tell you how many people were against DH and I getting married simply because of our age. I had a friend say on my wedding video that she would like to see how we are doing in 10 years, and not in the friendly type of way obviously. I also have been asked countless times if I trapped my DH or if he just married me because I was pregnant. The fact is people are too stupid to realize my DS was born a year after we got married and not 7-9 months later, or can't relate to young people falling in love and not wanting to wait 10 years to show our love in front of God.
But getting back to your question.. I don't believe getting married at a certain age will keep anybody together, there is no magic number or magic circumstance for people to fall in love and stay in love. With that said, if one of my kids wanted to get married young, I would hope it's because it's true love, not in the fairytale sense, but that they understand the responsibility that comes with vows, and obviously having children. And I also don't think my getting married and having children young interrupted any part of my education or career path for DH or myself. I have a BS and a MS, while I don't work outside of the house, it's not that I can't, it's simply because I love raising my kids. My DH has also done wonderfully in his career, while he is only 31, he has skyrocketed in his field and we were able to pay cash for both our house and my mini van in 2014. So honestly I think it depends on the people, some people can marry young and stay together or divorce just the same as an older couple. For DH and I we have been blessed with growing together, and not apart and hopefully I can say that in 20, 50 years from now.
For me, it wouldn't even be about divorce because that is a risk for any couple no matter what age they decide to marry, kwim?. It would be more of me wanting them to graduate college, have a career, and have some life experiences before they settled down (ideally, hopefully)... but everyone does things differently. I don't think it's wrong to marry young and I don't necessarily think that they wouldn't be able to do those things if they married or had children young, but it would certainly be more challenging. I just would want my children to live their lives a bit before they take on a family, but that's just me.
It was this comment that made me chime in: "Lordy, can you imagine being a dad at 19/20?"
I was a young mom and wife so I wanted to add that yes I can imagine and it's also not even out of the norm in this day and age. Heck my mother was married at 19 had me at 20. We had our own place and did everything on our own never asking our parents for anything..still to this day I'm 30 and have owned 2 homes so far and make a really good salary and can give my kids everything they need and want. It was the responsibility at a young age that taught me how to be a better person who worked hard. Too many young people nowadays do diddly squat. I think we always picture the american dream life for our children college, job, marriage, house, child etc.but it doesn't have to go in that order at all. I'm sure we all know that an individual is going to make their own life choices and if there independent than why shouldn't they?
I cannot tell you how many grown adults our age (me and DH) still either live with or off their parents some how WITH kids (and your talking 30's) have had their parents pay for part or all of their homes, employ them, co-sign cars, loans etc. Free child care, paid vacations etc. So why I may not agree with some of the view points of the Duggars I can't see how many people can point out that its an issue cause their parents help them out. So what? Take a look around you I'm sure everyone can name a few people they personally know.
I made that comment so I'll respond... You are the exception to the norm and bravo for you to making it work, that in and of itself is an awesome feat and you totally should be proud of yourself which you sound like you are. 
I'm more of the mindset with others who have stated that it appears these children are forced into adult situations not by choice & it's sad that they don't get that choice.
Message edited 4/24/2015 12:44:52 PM.
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| Posted 4/24/15 12:43 PM |
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2boys1girl
and one more girl on the way!
Member since 5/10 2954 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Another Duggar on the Way
Posted by Ayne11
Posted by 2boys1girl
Posted by MC09
Posted by mommy2B3
Posted by MC09
I don't think anyone is saying it's a bad thing that they're 19 and having a baby. I personally don't care that they are. It doesn't sway me either way because it's their life to do with as they please. Not sure why so many people who had children and/or married young are internalizing the comments on this thread and feeling like it's a personal attack against their lifestyle. I'm going to assume those posters who married young or had children young did so under completely different circumstances than these people who are basically doing it because that's all they know and are taught from a young age.
I do have an honest question though for those posters that did marry young or had kids at a young age (I'm talking young enough that it may impact college and career choices.. so under 21)... do you want the same for your child? Do you want (or would you be okay with) your child forgoing their education and career choices and getting married and having kids that young as well? I'm genuinely curious. To answer my own question... I didn't marry or have kids at that age, but I know that I personally wouldn't be okay with it for my children (of course, I know they'd technically be an adult at that point if this happened when they were 18 and could do as they please, but I wouldn't be happy with it.)
I can't speak for other young wives/moms, but for me, I can't tell you how many people were against DH and I getting married simply because of our age. I had a friend say on my wedding video that she would like to see how we are doing in 10 years, and not in the friendly type of way obviously. I also have been asked countless times if I trapped my DH or if he just married me because I was pregnant. The fact is people are too stupid to realize my DS was born a year after we got married and not 7-9 months later, or can't relate to young people falling in love and not wanting to wait 10 years to show our love in front of God.
But getting back to your question.. I don't believe getting married at a certain age will keep anybody together, there is no magic number or magic circumstance for people to fall in love and stay in love. With that said, if one of my kids wanted to get married young, I would hope it's because it's true love, not in the fairytale sense, but that they understand the responsibility that comes with vows, and obviously having children. And I also don't think my getting married and having children young interrupted any part of my education or career path for DH or myself. I have a BS and a MS, while I don't work outside of the house, it's not that I can't, it's simply because I love raising my kids. My DH has also done wonderfully in his career, while he is only 31, he has skyrocketed in his field and we were able to pay cash for both our house and my mini van in 2014. So honestly I think it depends on the people, some people can marry young and stay together or divorce just the same as an older couple. For DH and I we have been blessed with growing together, and not apart and hopefully I can say that in 20, 50 years from now.
For me, it wouldn't even be about divorce because that is a risk for any couple no matter what age they decide to marry, kwim?. It would be more of me wanting them to graduate college, have a career, and have some life experiences before they settled down (ideally, hopefully)... but everyone does things differently. I don't think it's wrong to marry young and I don't necessarily think that they wouldn't be able to do those things if they married or had children young, but it would certainly be more challenging. I just would want my children to live their lives a bit before they take on a family, but that's just me.
It was this comment that made me chime in: "Lordy, can you imagine being a dad at 19/20?"
I was a young mom and wife so I wanted to add that yes I can imagine and it's also not even out of the norm in this day and age. Heck my mother was married at 19 had me at 20. We had our own place and did everything on our own never asking our parents for anything..still to this day I'm 30 and have owned 2 homes so far and make a really good salary and can give my kids everything they need and want. It was the responsibility at a young age that taught me how to be a better person who worked hard. Too many young people nowadays do diddly squat. I think we always picture the american dream life for our children college, job, marriage, house, child etc.but it doesn't have to go in that order at all. I'm sure we all know that an individual is going to make their own life choices and if there independent than why shouldn't they?
I cannot tell you how many grown adults our age (me and DH) still either live with or off their parents some how WITH kids (and your talking 30's) have had their parents pay for part or all of their homes, employ them, co-sign cars, loans etc. Free child care, paid vacations etc. So why I may not agree with some of the view points of the Duggars I can't see how many people can point out that its an issue cause their parents help them out. So what? Take a look around you I'm sure everyone can name a few people they personally know.
I made that comment so I'll respond... You are the exception to the norm and bravo for you to making it work, that in and of itself is an awesome feat and you totally should be proud of yourself which you sound like you are.
I'm more of the mindset with others who have stated that it appears these children are forced into adult situations not by choice & it's sad that they don't get that choice.
I want to add I wasn't offended by your comment but I had wanted to give a different perspective to someone that may think 25, 30, 35 is the magic number for children. I don't think I'm an exception to any norm as I wasn't 15 and making my way through the H.S. hallways. I could vote, buy a home, get a bank loan lol...all the same things any adult over 18 can do legally. It's actually pretty normal this day and age to have children young.
Message edited 4/24/2015 12:55:14 PM.
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| Posted 4/24/15 12:52 PM |
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Re: Another Duggar on the Way
Posted by 2boys1girl
Posted by MC09
Posted by mommy2B3
Posted by MC09
I don't think anyone is saying it's a bad thing that they're 19 and having a baby. I personally don't care that they are. It doesn't sway me either way because it's their life to do with as they please. Not sure why so many people who had children and/or married young are internalizing the comments on this thread and feeling like it's a personal attack against their lifestyle. I'm going to assume those posters who married young or had children young did so under completely different circumstances than these people who are basically doing it because that's all they know and are taught from a young age.
I do have an honest question though for those posters that did marry young or had kids at a young age (I'm talking young enough that it may impact college and career choices.. so under 21)... do you want the same for your child? Do you want (or would you be okay with) your child forgoing their education and career choices and getting married and having kids that young as well? I'm genuinely curious. To answer my own question... I didn't marry or have kids at that age, but I know that I personally wouldn't be okay with it for my children (of course, I know they'd technically be an adult at that point if this happened when they were 18 and could do as they please, but I wouldn't be happy with it.)
I can't speak for other young wives/moms, but for me, I can't tell you how many people were against DH and I getting married simply because of our age. I had a friend say on my wedding video that she would like to see how we are doing in 10 years, and not in the friendly type of way obviously. I also have been asked countless times if I trapped my DH or if he just married me because I was pregnant. The fact is people are too stupid to realize my DS was born a year after we got married and not 7-9 months later, or can't relate to young people falling in love and not wanting to wait 10 years to show our love in front of God.
But getting back to your question.. I don't believe getting married at a certain age will keep anybody together, there is no magic number or magic circumstance for people to fall in love and stay in love. With that said, if one of my kids wanted to get married young, I would hope it's because it's true love, not in the fairytale sense, but that they understand the responsibility that comes with vows, and obviously having children. And I also don't think my getting married and having children young interrupted any part of my education or career path for DH or myself. I have a BS and a MS, while I don't work outside of the house, it's not that I can't, it's simply because I love raising my kids. My DH has also done wonderfully in his career, while he is only 31, he has skyrocketed in his field and we were able to pay cash for both our house and my mini van in 2014. So honestly I think it depends on the people, some people can marry young and stay together or divorce just the same as an older couple. For DH and I we have been blessed with growing together, and not apart and hopefully I can say that in 20, 50 years from now.
For me, it wouldn't even be about divorce because that is a risk for any couple no matter what age they decide to marry, kwim?. It would be more of me wanting them to graduate college, have a career, and have some life experiences before they settled down (ideally, hopefully)... but everyone does things differently. I don't think it's wrong to marry young and I don't necessarily think that they wouldn't be able to do those things if they married or had children young, but it would certainly be more challenging. I just would want my children to live their lives a bit before they take on a family, but that's just me.
It was this comment that made me chime in: "Lordy, can you imagine being a dad at 19/20?"
I was a young mom and wife so I wanted to add that yes I can imagine and it's also not even out of the norm in this day and age. Heck my mother was married at 19 had me at 20. We had our own place and did everything on our own never asking our parents for anything..still to this day I'm 30 and have owned 2 homes so far and make a really good salary and can give my kids everything they need and want. It was the responsibility at a young age that taught me how to be a better person who worked hard. Too many young people nowadays do diddly squat. I think we always picture the american dream life for our children college, job, marriage, house, child etc.but it doesn't have to go in that order at all. I'm sure we all know that an individual is going to make their own life choices and if there independent than why shouldn't they?
I cannot tell you how many grown adults our age (me and DH) still either live with or off their parents some how WITH kids (and your talking 30's) have had their parents pay for part or all of their homes, employ them, co-sign cars, loans etc. Free child care, paid vacations etc. So why I may not agree with some of the view points of the Duggars I can't see how many people can point out that its an issue cause their parents help them out. So what? Take a look around you I'm sure everyone can name a few people they personally know.
It is more than just a little helping them out. Neither have a real job nor education to get one. Their house is owned by the grandmother and they just have so limited views on life. There is a difference between how you just described your life.
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| Posted 4/24/15 12:59 PM |
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2boys1girl
and one more girl on the way!
Member since 5/10 2954 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Another Duggar on the Way
Posted by afternoondelight828
Posted by 2boys1girl
Posted by MC09
Posted by mommy2B3
Posted by MC09
I don't think anyone is saying it's a bad thing that they're 19 and having a baby. I personally don't care that they are. It doesn't sway me either way because it's their life to do with as they please. Not sure why so many people who had children and/or married young are internalizing the comments on this thread and feeling like it's a personal attack against their lifestyle. I'm going to assume those posters who married young or had children young did so under completely different circumstances than these people who are basically doing it because that's all they know and are taught from a young age.
I do have an honest question though for those posters that did marry young or had kids at a young age (I'm talking young enough that it may impact college and career choices.. so under 21)... do you want the same for your child? Do you want (or would you be okay with) your child forgoing their education and career choices and getting married and having kids that young as well? I'm genuinely curious. To answer my own question... I didn't marry or have kids at that age, but I know that I personally wouldn't be okay with it for my children (of course, I know they'd technically be an adult at that point if this happened when they were 18 and could do as they please, but I wouldn't be happy with it.)
I can't speak for other young wives/moms, but for me, I can't tell you how many people were against DH and I getting married simply because of our age. I had a friend say on my wedding video that she would like to see how we are doing in 10 years, and not in the friendly type of way obviously. I also have been asked countless times if I trapped my DH or if he just married me because I was pregnant. The fact is people are too stupid to realize my DS was born a year after we got married and not 7-9 months later, or can't relate to young people falling in love and not wanting to wait 10 years to show our love in front of God.
But getting back to your question.. I don't believe getting married at a certain age will keep anybody together, there is no magic number or magic circumstance for people to fall in love and stay in love. With that said, if one of my kids wanted to get married young, I would hope it's because it's true love, not in the fairytale sense, but that they understand the responsibility that comes with vows, and obviously having children. And I also don't think my getting married and having children young interrupted any part of my education or career path for DH or myself. I have a BS and a MS, while I don't work outside of the house, it's not that I can't, it's simply because I love raising my kids. My DH has also done wonderfully in his career, while he is only 31, he has skyrocketed in his field and we were able to pay cash for both our house and my mini van in 2014. So honestly I think it depends on the people, some people can marry young and stay together or divorce just the same as an older couple. For DH and I we have been blessed with growing together, and not apart and hopefully I can say that in 20, 50 years from now.
For me, it wouldn't even be about divorce because that is a risk for any couple no matter what age they decide to marry, kwim?. It would be more of me wanting them to graduate college, have a career, and have some life experiences before they settled down (ideally, hopefully)... but everyone does things differently. I don't think it's wrong to marry young and I don't necessarily think that they wouldn't be able to do those things if they married or had children young, but it would certainly be more challenging. I just would want my children to live their lives a bit before they take on a family, but that's just me.
It was this comment that made me chime in: "Lordy, can you imagine being a dad at 19/20?"
I was a young mom and wife so I wanted to add that yes I can imagine and it's also not even out of the norm in this day and age. Heck my mother was married at 19 had me at 20. We had our own place and did everything on our own never asking our parents for anything..still to this day I'm 30 and have owned 2 homes so far and make a really good salary and can give my kids everything they need and want. It was the responsibility at a young age that taught me how to be a better person who worked hard. Too many young people nowadays do diddly squat. I think we always picture the american dream life for our children college, job, marriage, house, child etc.but it doesn't have to go in that order at all. I'm sure we all know that an individual is going to make their own life choices and if there independent than why shouldn't they?
I cannot tell you how many grown adults our age (me and DH) still either live with or off their parents some how WITH kids (and your talking 30's) have had their parents pay for part or all of their homes, employ them, co-sign cars, loans etc. Free child care, paid vacations etc. So why I may not agree with some of the view points of the Duggars I can't see how many people can point out that its an issue cause their parents help them out. So what? Take a look around you I'm sure everyone can name a few people they personally know.
It is more than just a little helping them out. Neither have a real job nor education to get one. Their house is owned by the grandmother and they just have so limited views on life. There is a difference between how you just described your life.
I'm speaking on a lot of people I know or have even heard on here speak. I know many people who are working because their parents gave them a job, who don't have a "real" job, live in a family members house or had one given to them etc. it's just not that uncommon as we think...theirs is just added with conservative views on life (which I do not agree on) but how they live their life in terms of family help I don't hate on.
I get it though, everyone thinks their weird and creepy. I do too. I think sister wives is gross, breaking Amish different etc. how about arranged marriages in other cultures- not the norm for some people? but bringing loved and cared for children into the world i think is great. I think family helping family is great.
Message edited 4/24/2015 1:10:18 PM.
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| Posted 4/24/15 1:03 PM |
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Re: Another Duggar on the Way
Posted by 2boys1girl
Posted by afternoondelight828
Posted by 2boys1girl
Posted by MC09
Posted by mommy2B3
Posted by MC09
I don't think anyone is saying it's a bad thing that they're 19 and having a baby. I personally don't care that they are. It doesn't sway me either way because it's their life to do with as they please. Not sure why so many people who had children and/or married young are internalizing the comments on this thread and feeling like it's a personal attack against their lifestyle. I'm going to assume those posters who married young or had children young did so under completely different circumstances than these people who are basically doing it because that's all they know and are taught from a young age.
I do have an honest question though for those posters that did marry young or had kids at a young age (I'm talking young enough that it may impact college and career choices.. so under 21)... do you want the same for your child? Do you want (or would you be okay with) your child forgoing their education and career choices and getting married and having kids that young as well? I'm genuinely curious. To answer my own question... I didn't marry or have kids at that age, but I know that I personally wouldn't be okay with it for my children (of course, I know they'd technically be an adult at that point if this happened when they were 18 and could do as they please, but I wouldn't be happy with it.)
I can't speak for other young wives/moms, but for me, I can't tell you how many people were against DH and I getting married simply because of our age. I had a friend say on my wedding video that she would like to see how we are doing in 10 years, and not in the friendly type of way obviously. I also have been asked countless times if I trapped my DH or if he just married me because I was pregnant. The fact is people are too stupid to realize my DS was born a year after we got married and not 7-9 months later, or can't relate to young people falling in love and not wanting to wait 10 years to show our love in front of God.
But getting back to your question.. I don't believe getting married at a certain age will keep anybody together, there is no magic number or magic circumstance for people to fall in love and stay in love. With that said, if one of my kids wanted to get married young, I would hope it's because it's true love, not in the fairytale sense, but that they understand the responsibility that comes with vows, and obviously having children. And I also don't think my getting married and having children young interrupted any part of my education or career path for DH or myself. I have a BS and a MS, while I don't work outside of the house, it's not that I can't, it's simply because I love raising my kids. My DH has also done wonderfully in his career, while he is only 31, he has skyrocketed in his field and we were able to pay cash for both our house and my mini van in 2014. So honestly I think it depends on the people, some people can marry young and stay together or divorce just the same as an older couple. For DH and I we have been blessed with growing together, and not apart and hopefully I can say that in 20, 50 years from now.
For me, it wouldn't even be about divorce because that is a risk for any couple no matter what age they decide to marry, kwim?. It would be more of me wanting them to graduate college, have a career, and have some life experiences before they settled down (ideally, hopefully)... but everyone does things differently. I don't think it's wrong to marry young and I don't necessarily think that they wouldn't be able to do those things if they married or had children young, but it would certainly be more challenging. I just would want my children to live their lives a bit before they take on a family, but that's just me.
It was this comment that made me chime in: "Lordy, can you imagine being a dad at 19/20?"
I was a young mom and wife so I wanted to add that yes I can imagine and it's also not even out of the norm in this day and age. Heck my mother was married at 19 had me at 20. We had our own place and did everything on our own never asking our parents for anything..still to this day I'm 30 and have owned 2 homes so far and make a really good salary and can give my kids everything they need and want. It was the responsibility at a young age that taught me how to be a better person who worked hard. Too many young people nowadays do diddly squat. I think we always picture the american dream life for our children college, job, marriage, house, child etc.but it doesn't have to go in that order at all. I'm sure we all know that an individual is going to make their own life choices and if there independent than why shouldn't they?
I cannot tell you how many grown adults our age (me and DH) still either live with or off their parents some how WITH kids (and your talking 30's) have had their parents pay for part or all of their homes, employ them, co-sign cars, loans etc. Free child care, paid vacations etc. So why I may not agree with some of the view points of the Duggars I can't see how many people can point out that its an issue cause their parents help them out. So what? Take a look around you I'm sure everyone can name a few people they personally know.
It is more than just a little helping them out. Neither have a real job nor education to get one. Their house is owned by the grandmother and they just have so limited views on life. There is a difference between how you just described your life.
I'm speaking on a lot of people I know or have even heard on here speak. I know many people who are working because their parents gave them a job, who don't have a "real" job, live in a family members house or had one given to them etc. it's just not that uncommon as we think...theirs is just added with conservative views on life (which I do not agree on) but how they live their life in terms of family help I don't hate on.
I get it though, everyone thinks their weird and creepy. I do too. I think sister wives is gross, breaking Amish different etc. how about arranged marriages in other cultures- not the norm for some people? but bringing loved and cared for children into the world i think is great. I think family helping family is great.
I totally get what you mean and do agree with you.
I just feel bad for these "kids" as they marry to have sex. They don't even get the real reason you get married. The did get some outside relationship help from their pastor who did tell them that kissing without being married is fine. They need more of outsiders who have different views to show them that they CAN have their own opinions and choose how THEY want to live. Not just do what their parents tell them to.
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| Posted 4/24/15 1:36 PM |
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2boys1girl
and one more girl on the way!
Member since 5/10 2954 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Another Duggar on the Way
Posted by afternoondelight828
Posted by 2boys1girl
Posted by afternoondelight828
Posted by 2boys1girl
Posted by MC09
Posted by mommy2B3
Posted by MC09
I don't think anyone is saying it's a bad thing that they're 19 and having a baby. I personally don't care that they are. It doesn't sway me either way because it's their life to do with as they please. Not sure why so many people who had children and/or married young are internalizing the comments on this thread and feeling like it's a personal attack against their lifestyle. I'm going to assume those posters who married young or had children young did so under completely different circumstances than these people who are basically doing it because that's all they know and are taught from a young age.
I do have an honest question though for those posters that did marry young or had kids at a young age (I'm talking young enough that it may impact college and career choices.. so under 21)... do you want the same for your child? Do you want (or would you be okay with) your child forgoing their education and career choices and getting married and having kids that young as well? I'm genuinely curious. To answer my own question... I didn't marry or have kids at that age, but I know that I personally wouldn't be okay with it for my children (of course, I know they'd technically be an adult at that point if this happened when they were 18 and could do as they please, but I wouldn't be happy with it.)
I can't speak for other young wives/moms, but for me, I can't tell you how many people were against DH and I getting married simply because of our age. I had a friend say on my wedding video that she would like to see how we are doing in 10 years, and not in the friendly type of way obviously. I also have been asked countless times if I trapped my DH or if he just married me because I was pregnant. The fact is people are too stupid to realize my DS was born a year after we got married and not 7-9 months later, or can't relate to young people falling in love and not wanting to wait 10 years to show our love in front of God.
But getting back to your question.. I don't believe getting married at a certain age will keep anybody together, there is no magic number or magic circumstance for people to fall in love and stay in love. With that said, if one of my kids wanted to get married young, I would hope it's because it's true love, not in the fairytale sense, but that they understand the responsibility that comes with vows, and obviously having children. And I also don't think my getting married and having children young interrupted any part of my education or career path for DH or myself. I have a BS and a MS, while I don't work outside of the house, it's not that I can't, it's simply because I love raising my kids. My DH has also done wonderfully in his career, while he is only 31, he has skyrocketed in his field and we were able to pay cash for both our house and my mini van in 2014. So honestly I think it depends on the people, some people can marry young and stay together or divorce just the same as an older couple. For DH and I we have been blessed with growing together, and not apart and hopefully I can say that in 20, 50 years from now.
For me, it wouldn't even be about divorce because that is a risk for any couple no matter what age they decide to marry, kwim?. It would be more of me wanting them to graduate college, have a career, and have some life experiences before they settled down (ideally, hopefully)... but everyone does things differently. I don't think it's wrong to marry young and I don't necessarily think that they wouldn't be able to do those things if they married or had children young, but it would certainly be more challenging. I just would want my children to live their lives a bit before they take on a family, but that's just me.
It was this comment that made me chime in: "Lordy, can you imagine being a dad at 19/20?"
I was a young mom and wife so I wanted to add that yes I can imagine and it's also not even out of the norm in this day and age. Heck my mother was married at 19 had me at 20. We had our own place and did everything on our own never asking our parents for anything..still to this day I'm 30 and have owned 2 homes so far and make a really good salary and can give my kids everything they need and want. It was the responsibility at a young age that taught me how to be a better person who worked hard. Too many young people nowadays do diddly squat. I think we always picture the american dream life for our children college, job, marriage, house, child etc.but it doesn't have to go in that order at all. I'm sure we all know that an individual is going to make their own life choices and if there independent than why shouldn't they?
I cannot tell you how many grown adults our age (me and DH) still either live with or off their parents some how WITH kids (and your talking 30's) have had their parents pay for part or all of their homes, employ them, co-sign cars, loans etc. Free child care, paid vacations etc. So why I may not agree with some of the view points of the Duggars I can't see how many people can point out that its an issue cause their parents help them out. So what? Take a look around you I'm sure everyone can name a few people they personally know.
It is more than just a little helping them out. Neither have a real job nor education to get one. Their house is owned by the grandmother and they just have so limited views on life. There is a difference between how you just described your life.
I'm speaking on a lot of people I know or have even heard on here speak. I know many people who are working because their parents gave them a job, who don't have a "real" job, live in a family members house or had one given to them etc. it's just not that uncommon as we think...theirs is just added with conservative views on life (which I do not agree on) but how they live their life in terms of family help I don't hate on.
I get it though, everyone thinks their weird and creepy. I do too. I think sister wives is gross, breaking Amish different etc. how about arranged marriages in other cultures- not the norm for some people? but bringing loved and cared for children into the world i think is great. I think family helping family is great.
I totally get what you mean and do agree with you.
I just feel bad for these "kids" as they marry to have sex. They don't even get the real reason you get married. The did get some outside relationship help from their pastor who did tell them that kissing without being married is fine. They need more of outsiders who have different views to show them that they CAN have their own opinions and choose how THEY want to live. Not just do what their parents tell them to.
I wouldn't mind it if my daughter listened to us when we say you can't touch boys till your married they have cooties haha
It is sad...but I think it's really common in certain areas of the U.S. so much so that's its become a way of life. Sadly I have family in OH that post the craziest views on FB and they live a completely different life than what I would consider to have been normal...but I guess it's normal for them.
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| Posted 4/24/15 1:40 PM |
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Re: Another Duggar on the Way
Posted by 2boys1girl
Posted by afternoondelight828
Posted by 2boys1girl
Posted by afternoondelight828
Posted by 2boys1girl
Posted by MC09
Posted by mommy2B3
Posted by MC09
I don't think anyone is saying it's a bad thing that they're 19 and having a baby. I personally don't care that they are. It doesn't sway me either way because it's their life to do with as they please. Not sure why so many people who had children and/or married young are internalizing the comments on this thread and feeling like it's a personal attack against their lifestyle. I'm going to assume those posters who married young or had children young did so under completely different circumstances than these people who are basically doing it because that's all they know and are taught from a young age.
I do have an honest question though for those posters that did marry young or had kids at a young age (I'm talking young enough that it may impact college and career choices.. so under 21)... do you want the same for your child? Do you want (or would you be okay with) your child forgoing their education and career choices and getting married and having kids that young as well? I'm genuinely curious. To answer my own question... I didn't marry or have kids at that age, but I know that I personally wouldn't be okay with it for my children (of course, I know they'd technically be an adult at that point if this happened when they were 18 and could do as they please, but I wouldn't be happy with it.)
I can't speak for other young wives/moms, but for me, I can't tell you how many people were against DH and I getting married simply because of our age. I had a friend say on my wedding video that she would like to see how we are doing in 10 years, and not in the friendly type of way obviously. I also have been asked countless times if I trapped my DH or if he just married me because I was pregnant. The fact is people are too stupid to realize my DS was born a year after we got married and not 7-9 months later, or can't relate to young people falling in love and not wanting to wait 10 years to show our love in front of God.
But getting back to your question.. I don't believe getting married at a certain age will keep anybody together, there is no magic number or magic circumstance for people to fall in love and stay in love. With that said, if one of my kids wanted to get married young, I would hope it's because it's true love, not in the fairytale sense, but that they understand the responsibility that comes with vows, and obviously having children. And I also don't think my getting married and having children young interrupted any part of my education or career path for DH or myself. I have a BS and a MS, while I don't work outside of the house, it's not that I can't, it's simply because I love raising my kids. My DH has also done wonderfully in his career, while he is only 31, he has skyrocketed in his field and we were able to pay cash for both our house and my mini van in 2014. So honestly I think it depends on the people, some people can marry young and stay together or divorce just the same as an older couple. For DH and I we have been blessed with growing together, and not apart and hopefully I can say that in 20, 50 years from now.
For me, it wouldn't even be about divorce because that is a risk for any couple no matter what age they decide to marry, kwim?. It would be more of me wanting them to graduate college, have a career, and have some life experiences before they settled down (ideally, hopefully)... but everyone does things differently. I don't think it's wrong to marry young and I don't necessarily think that they wouldn't be able to do those things if they married or had children young, but it would certainly be more challenging. I just would want my children to live their lives a bit before they take on a family, but that's just me.
It was this comment that made me chime in: "Lordy, can you imagine being a dad at 19/20?"
I was a young mom and wife so I wanted to add that yes I can imagine and it's also not even out of the norm in this day and age. Heck my mother was married at 19 had me at 20. We had our own place and did everything on our own never asking our parents for anything..still to this day I'm 30 and have owned 2 homes so far and make a really good salary and can give my kids everything they need and want. It was the responsibility at a young age that taught me how to be a better person who worked hard. Too many young people nowadays do diddly squat. I think we always picture the american dream life for our children college, job, marriage, house, child etc.but it doesn't have to go in that order at all. I'm sure we all know that an individual is going to make their own life choices and if there independent than why shouldn't they?
I cannot tell you how many grown adults our age (me and DH) still either live with or off their parents some how WITH kids (and your talking 30's) have had their parents pay for part or all of their homes, employ them, co-sign cars, loans etc. Free child care, paid vacations etc. So why I may not agree with some of the view points of the Duggars I can't see how many people can point out that its an issue cause their parents help them out. So what? Take a look around you I'm sure everyone can name a few people they personally know.
It is more than just a little helping them out. Neither have a real job nor education to get one. Their house is owned by the grandmother and they just have so limited views on life. There is a difference between how you just described your life.
I'm speaking on a lot of people I know or have even heard on here speak. I know many people who are working because their parents gave them a job, who don't have a "real" job, live in a family members house or had one given to them etc. it's just not that uncommon as we think...theirs is just added with conservative views on life (which I do not agree on) but how they live their life in terms of family help I don't hate on.
I get it though, everyone thinks their weird and creepy. I do too. I think sister wives is gross, breaking Amish different etc. how about arranged marriages in other cultures- not the norm for some people? but bringing loved and cared for children into the world i think is great. I think family helping family is great.
I totally get what you mean and do agree with you.
I just feel bad for these "kids" as they marry to have sex. They don't even get the real reason you get married. The did get some outside relationship help from their pastor who did tell them that kissing without being married is fine. They need more of outsiders who have different views to show them that they CAN have their own opinions and choose how THEY want to live. Not just do what their parents tell them to.
I wouldn't mind it if my daughter listened to us when we say you can't touch boys till your married they have cooties haha
It is sad...but I think it's really common in certain areas of the U.S. so much so that's its become a way of life. Sadly I have family in OH that post the craziest views on FB and they live a completely different life than what I would consider to have been normal...but I guess it's normal for them.
Are they part of the Gothard Cult? It is NOT normal not to be affectionate though and to expect an adult to not be is not right.
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| Posted 4/24/15 2:26 PM |
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MC09
arrrghhh!!!!
Member since 2/09 5674 total posts
Name:
Me speaks pirate!
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Re: Another Duggar on the Way
It's getting too long to quote lol...
I doesn't bother me that they (or anyone else) are marrying young and having children. These babies are wanted and well-cared for, so it's always a blessing. It just bothers me that these kids don't seem to have a choice in the matter at all. They're brought these courtships with the specific intent to marry at a young age and then quickly reproduce. They don't get to go out with friends, get to know new people, date different people with the hopes that they'll be able to choose for themselves what they like in a partner. I don't really follow the show so I don't know how it works... but what happens if the person the parents choose for their child's courtship just isn't compatible with their kid for some reason? Are they able to turn this person down and brought another "candidate"? Or do they have to make it work regardless because this is the person their parents want for them?
What if one of these kids wants to go to college first? What if one of these kids wants to try going to conventional schooling outside the home? What if one of these kids wants to move out and live on their own for a while after growing up in a house with 20-something people and sharing a bed their whole life? What if one of the girls wants to work outside the home, are they allowed?, What if one of these kids feels that after raising their sibs their whole life they don't want to be a parent at all (it's possible)? What if one of these kids is gay? The fact that they can't decide for themselves how to live their life is what bothers me.
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| Posted 4/24/15 2:32 PM |
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Re: Another Duggar on the Way
Posted by MC09
It's getting too long to quote lol...
I doesn't bother me that they (or anyone else) are marrying young and having children. These babies are wanted and well-cared for, so it's always a blessing. It just bothers me that these kids don't seem to have a choice in the matter at all. They're brought these courtships with the specific intent to marry at a young age and then quickly reproduce. They don't get to go out with friends, get to know new people, date different people with the hopes that they'll be able to choose for themselves what they like in a partner. I don't really follow the show so I don't know how it works... but what happens if the person the parents choose for their child's courtship just isn't compatible with their kid for some reason? Are they able to turn this person down and brought another "candidate"? Or do they have to make it work regardless because this is the person their parents want for them?
What if one of these kids wants to go to college first? What if one of these kids wants to try going to conventional schooling outside the home? What if one of these kids wants to move out and live on their own for a while after growing up in a house with 20-something people and sharing a bed their whole life? What if one of the girls wants to work outside the home, are they allowed?, What if one of these kids feels that after raising their sibs their whole life they don't want to be a parent at all (it's possible)? What if one of these kids is gay? The fact that they can't decide for themselves how to live their life is what bothers me.
There is another family, The Bates who are friends with the Duggars. Their oldest son did not marry the first girl he courted. His parents were fine with it and he actually kissed his now wife before being married. They are not as strict but still follow the Gothard ways.
There has never been an instance that any kid wanted to branch out and do things against them so there is no saying what would happen. I assume they are all so brainwashed into that life that they would never think about even taking a different path. THAT is why it is so sad for a 19 and 21 to be having a baby after being married for 5 months.
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| Posted 4/24/15 3:08 PM |
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MC09
arrrghhh!!!!
Member since 2/09 5674 total posts
Name:
Me speaks pirate!
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Re: Another Duggar on the Way
Posted by afternoondelight828
There has never been an instance that any kid wanted to branch out and do things against them so there is no saying what would happen. I assume they are all so brainwashed into that life that they would never think about even taking a different path. THAT is why it is so sad for a 19 and 21 to be having a baby after being married for 5 months.
And that's what is sad... that none of the kids would even consider doing anything "outside the norm" like go to college because it would be going against their family. No free will. Would they be shunned or disowned?
Message edited 4/24/2015 3:15:00 PM.
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| Posted 4/24/15 3:14 PM |
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Re: Another Duggar on the Way
Posted by MC09
Posted by afternoondelight828
There has never been an instance that any kid wanted to branch out and do things against them so there is no saying what would happen. I assume they are all so brainwashed into that life that they would never think about even taking a different path. THAT is why it is so sad for a 19 and 21 to be having a baby after being married for 5 months.
And that's what is sad... that none of the kids would even consider doing anything "outside the norm" like go to college because it would be going against their family. No free will. Would they be shunned or disowned?
Probably both and that is the saddest part. They are NOT good parents. Once you see outside of the show, you know how they are really are.
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| Posted 4/24/15 3:52 PM |
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mbg1007
LIF Adult
Member since 3/09 1247 total posts
Name:
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Re: Another Duggar on the Way
Look, I don't agree with prob 99% of what they believe but I don't think they are the worlds most evil people. A lot of what is being posted on here is misinformation, their parents don't pick their potential husbands (they have to approve of them but there isn't a rule they have to be picked by daddy), Ben was a friend of jessas until their courtship; when Jill and Derrick were picking rings he made a comment that she needed a simple ring bc of her being a midwife, michelle does still homeschool the kids, jessa and ben picked a pastor who does not follow the same strict guidelines so the obv can think for themselves includinh their full front hug when they got engaged, they were also engaged/courting for almost a year so if it was only about sex why would they wait that long. I just don't think that everything is so black and white.
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| Posted 4/24/15 5:11 PM |
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Re: Another Duggar on the Way
Posted by mbg1007
Look, I don't agree with prob 99% of what they believe but I don't think they are the worlds most evil people. A lot of what is being posted on here is misinformation, their parents don't pick their potential husbands (they have to approve of them but there isn't a rule they have to be picked by daddy), Ben was a friend of jessas until their courtship; when Jill and Derrick were picking rings he made a comment that she needed a simple ring bc of her being a midwife, michelle does still homeschool the kids, jessa and ben picked a pastor who does not follow the same strict guidelines so the obv can think for themselves includinh their full front hug when they got engaged, they were also engaged/courting for almost a year so if it was only about sex why would they wait that long. I just don't think that everything is so black and white.
I guess you missed the episode where they showed Jessa homeschooling and Michele says she has given it up.
Ben lived hours away from the Duggars and as soon as he was moved into their home, they got engaged.
Jill will never go back to doing midwifery as none of the women work after having babies and she will be pregnant again within a few months, no doubt about that.
I really thought they did something before they got married until I saw those first kisses lol
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| Posted 4/24/15 5:55 PM |
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Alexandra17
Keep It Positive
Member since 4/09 6262 total posts
Name:
Alexandra (ali)
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Another Duggar on the Way
Pin this thread because they won't be stopping any time soon. At all.
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| Posted 4/24/15 7:21 PM |
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mbg1007
LIF Adult
Member since 3/09 1247 total posts
Name:
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Re: Another Duggar on the Way
Posted by afternoondelight828
Posted by mbg1007
Look, I don't agree with prob 99% of what they believe but I don't think they are the worlds most evil people. A lot of what is being posted on here is misinformation, their parents don't pick their potential husbands (they have to approve of them but there isn't a rule they have to be picked by daddy), Ben was a friend of jessas until their courtship; when Jill and Derrick were picking rings he made a comment that she needed a simple ring bc of her being a midwife, michelle does still homeschool the kids, jessa and ben picked a pastor who does not follow the same strict guidelines so the obv can think for themselves includinh their full front hug when they got engaged, they were also engaged/courting for almost a year so if it was only about sex why would they wait that long. I just don't think that everything is so black and white.
I guess you missed the episode where they showed Jessa homeschooling and Michele says she has given it up.
Ben lived hours away from the Duggars and as soon as he was moved into their home, they got engaged.
Jill will never go back to doing midwifery as none of the women work after having babies and she will be pregnant again within a few months, no doubt about that.
I really thought they did something before they got married until I saw those first kisses lol
This is what's irking me, just the musinformation. I've watched all the shows, the older girls, right or wrong, help with the schooling but they have showed a few times recently michelle homeschooling them, Jill was still working as a midwife while she was pregnant (she is employed by an agency) and Ben and Jess's did not get engaged right after he moved there. Everyone can form their own opinions but at least do it on facts, not propaganda for them or against them. Oh, and the reason his mother lives with them is bc she and her late husband moved in when he was sick and she needed help caring for him.
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| Posted 4/25/15 12:12 PM |
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Re: Another Duggar on the Way
Posted by mbg1007
Posted by afternoondelight828
Posted by mbg1007
Look, I don't agree with prob 99% of what they believe but I don't think they are the worlds most evil people. A lot of what is being posted on here is misinformation, their parents don't pick their potential husbands (they have to approve of them but there isn't a rule they have to be picked by daddy), Ben was a friend of jessas until their courtship; when Jill and Derrick were picking rings he made a comment that she needed a simple ring bc of her being a midwife, michelle does still homeschool the kids, jessa and ben picked a pastor who does not follow the same strict guidelines so the obv can think for themselves includinh their full front hug when they got engaged, they were also engaged/courting for almost a year so if it was only about sex why would they wait that long. I just don't think that everything is so black and white.
I guess you missed the episode where they showed Jessa homeschooling and Michele says she has given it up.
Ben lived hours away from the Duggars and as soon as he was moved into their home, they got engaged.
Jill will never go back to doing midwifery as none of the women work after having babies and she will be pregnant again within a few months, no doubt about that.
I really thought they did something before they got married until I saw those first kisses lol
This is what's irking me, just the musinformation. I've watched all the shows, the older girls, right or wrong, help with the schooling but they have showed a few times recently michelle homeschooling them, Jill was still working as a midwife while she was pregnant (she is employed by an agency) and Ben and Jess's did not get engaged right after he moved there. Everyone can form their own opinions but at least do it on facts, not propaganda for them or against them. Oh, and the reason his mother lives with them is bc she and her late husband moved in when he was sick and she needed help caring for him.
Did you just see the most recent show where she stated that she does NOT homeschool that she has passed that down? Are you going by older shows that you have seen her teaching?
She might have worked while she was pregnant, and I really hope she goes back to it but history shows that none of these women work after having kids.
The grandmother owns other homes. She could easily go move into them but they have chosen for grandma to be the main person to clean the laundry and take care of the kids when the older girls are not around.
May I ask how you know so much about the family? Do you know them outside of the TV show?
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| Posted 4/25/15 4:25 PM |
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Re: Another Duggar on the Way
From season 15, Episode 9. Straight from Michelle's mouth:
My goal was to work myself out of a job"
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| Posted 4/25/15 4:30 PM |
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