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amac27
LIF Toddler
Member since 8/09 471 total posts
Name:
A
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Thoughts on this situation?
My 12 year old niece broke my mother's laptop. She offered to help pay for a replacement with her birthday and Christmas money, but my mom refuses to take money from her granddaughter. Instead, my mother feels my sister should offer to pay part of the cost of a replacement. My sister does not agree because she feels that if she is the one giving my mother money, my niece won't really learn anything from this incident. My sister also feels that it was an accident. This is causing some serious tension in my family right now. It also does not help that my parents aren't really in a good place financially.
What do you think? Is 12 years old too young to learn responsibility?
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Posted 1/1/15 6:09 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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Naturalmama
Love my boys!!
Member since 1/12 3548 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Thoughts on this situation?
12 is in no way too young to learn responsibility. I would want my DD to help pay for the new laptop.
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| Posted 1/1/15 6:13 PM |
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nferrandi
too excited for words
Member since 10/05 18538 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: Thoughts on this situation?
I think she should contribute to the replacement- maybe $100. Then I think your sister should cover half and your mom should cover the other half. Yes, it was an accident. And yes, your niece should be held somewhat responsible. But she is not a grown up and shouldn't have to lose all of her savings. It wasn't your sisters fault, but it would be the right thing for her to offer up some money. It was her daughters fault and now your mom is without a laptop.
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| Posted 1/1/15 6:16 PM |
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hopingforbaby
We made a wish & you came true
Member since 2/10 2695 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Thoughts on this situation?
Posted by nferrandi
I think she should contribute to the replacement- maybe $100. Then I think your sister should cover half and your mom should cover the other half. Yes, it was an accident. And yes, your niece should be held somewhat responsible. But she is not a grown up and shouldn't have to lose all of her savings. It wasn't your sisters fault, but it would be the right thing for her to offer up some money. It was her daughters fault and now your mom is without a laptop.
I more or less agree with this. If it were my daughter that broke the laptop, I would probably have her pay a portion of the cost (say $100-$200 or so) and I would pay for the rest of the laptop myself. There is no reason why my mom should be without a laptop and if she is having financial issues I wouldn't want her to have to pay for a new one.
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| Posted 1/1/15 6:31 PM |
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BlessedMomma
LIF Adult
Member since 12/11 6163 total posts
Name:
Momma Bear
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Re: Thoughts on this situation?
Posted by nferrandi
I think she should contribute to the replacement- maybe $100. Then I think your sister should cover half and your mom should cover the other half. Yes, it was an accident. And yes, your niece should be held somewhat responsible. But she is not a grown up and shouldn't have to lose all of her savings. It wasn't your sisters fault, but it would be the right thing for her to offer up some money. It was her daughters fault and now your mom is without a laptop.
This. I would have my dd pay $100 and i would pay the rest. Especially if i knew my mom was having hard times.
I feel it not only teaches your niece responsibilty but also respect.
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| Posted 1/1/15 7:26 PM |
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hmm
Sweet
Member since 1/14 8016 total posts
Name:
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Re: Thoughts on this situation?
Posted by Naturalmama
12 is in no way too young to learn responsibility. I would want my DD to help pay for the new laptop.
crashing, but I agree, I don't know why everyone is putting a set amount on what the 12 year old should pay,(unless I missed the cost when I read it). it all depends on the cost of the computer to buy or repair.
Or, if your sister pays upfront to buy or repair, her daughter can pay her back in monthly payments,
Accidents happen and I think it was very adult like of you niece to offer to help buy a new one.
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| Posted 1/1/15 7:43 PM |
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Mrs213
????????
Member since 2/09 18986 total posts
Name:
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Re: Thoughts on this situation?
Posted by BlessedMomma
Posted by nferrandi
I think she should contribute to the replacement- maybe $100. Then I think your sister should cover half and your mom should cover the other half. Yes, it was an accident. And yes, your niece should be held somewhat responsible. But she is not a grown up and shouldn't have to lose all of her savings. It wasn't your sisters fault, but it would be the right thing for her to offer up some money. It was her daughters fault and now your mom is without a laptop.
This. I would have my dd pay $100 and i would pay the rest. Especially if i knew my mom was having hard times.
I feel it not only teaches your niece responsibilty but also respect.
I agree with this fully. Have the daughter pay part and the mom Pay rest. Grandma should not have to pay
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| Posted 1/1/15 7:48 PM |
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SHOPAHOLIC
LIF Adult
Member since 1/07 1712 total posts
Name:
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Re: Thoughts on this situation?
I'll preface with the fact that I have a 12 year old.
If my 12 year old broke my mom's computer and my mom couldn't afford to replace it, I would expect my DC to offer up some of the money to help. I would pay the rest - your minor child is your financial responsibility. What would your sister have done if it was a friend's mother instead of grandma???
Then have the 12 year old work it off with chores at home to "pay me back" until I felt the lesson had been learned.
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| Posted 1/1/15 8:09 PM |
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pumpkinmom
LIF Adult
Member since 5/12 2912 total posts
Name:
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Thoughts on this situation?
I could see it different ways. The parents are financially responsible for a 12 year old. On the other hand, grandma allowed a child to use her laptop. You have to know there is a chance she'll break it.
Eta: to answer the question...no, I don't think 12 is too young to take some responsibility, but they also don't have a lot of money. So, I probably wouldn't take it. They can learn forgiveness from this one.
Message edited 1/2/2015 1:55:04 AM.
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| Posted 1/2/15 1:51 AM |
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butterfly20
Party of 5 - 2015
Member since 4/06 7390 total posts
Name:
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Thoughts on this situation?
At 12 I was babysitting. Easily could have contributed $50 or $100 tp a replacement. If I wasn't babysitting it could have come from my savings account. Parents are legally responsible do their minor children damages so yes the sister should pay and decide how much she will have her daughter give her back...
Look at it this way, if she destroyed a neighbors property she would pay, so why punish the relative
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| Posted 1/2/15 7:45 AM |
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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
Name:
Marisa
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Re: Thoughts on this situation?
I think your sister should be proud of that fact that her daugher OFFERED to help pay for the replacement without being asked.
I think she SHOULD let her pay for it - She's taking money she would have used to buy herself something - it' s not like she's dipping into her college fund.
If your mother is looking for help paying for the replacement, I don't think its up to HER to decide where it comes from. Your neice is your sister's daughter, not your mother's KWIM?
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| Posted 1/2/15 11:21 AM |
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Xelindrya
Mommy's little YouTube Star!
Member since 8/05 14470 total posts
Name:
Veronica
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Thoughts on this situation?
I think if it was my child at 12 I would expect that *I* would pay for it WITH my daughter's money. I'd appreciate and be very proud my daughter would first offer. Then I would totally expect my aunt (since that's who it would be) to DECLINE payment directly. Then I'd expect my daughter and I would come to an agreement on how much she would kick in.
But yes as her mother, I would expect to be responsible for the damage and yes, I would expect to pay but NO 12 is NOT too young to learn responsibility as this little girl has obviously already gotten that lesson down.
My 6 yr old broke her cousins Ipad mini by accident (seriously watched it in slow mo type thing) and felt HORRIBLE. She's 6 and she owned up to it, apologized and offered to pay for repairs. At 6. Of course we all said no. But just yesterday she walked over to me to ask how to open her piggy bank, when I asked why she said so she could help us pay to fix her cousins ipad.
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| Posted 1/2/15 12:53 PM |
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Pray4Baby2010
<3 Cutest Giants Fan
Member since 10/09 5796 total posts
Name:
MB
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Re: Thoughts on this situation?
how did she get a hold of the laptop? Did she pick it up on her own or did your mom let her use it? If your mom let her use it, she took her chances and she should pay. If your niece took it, your sister should pay.
I think its so nice that your niece offered to pay but I wouldnt allow my dc to pay- except maybe chores around the house like someone mentioned.
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| Posted 1/2/15 1:49 PM |
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amac27
LIF Toddler
Member since 8/09 471 total posts
Name:
A
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Re: Thoughts on this situation?
Posted by Pray4Baby2010
how did she get a hold of the laptop? Did she pick it up on her own or did your mom let her use it? If your mom let her use it, she took her chances and she should pay. If your niece took it, your sister should pay.
I think its so nice that your niece offered to pay but I wouldnt allow my dc to pay- except maybe chores around the house like someone mentioned.
My mother let's her use the laptop, but tells her she has to keep it in the living room. In the instance that she broke the laptop, she had taken it into a bedroom without permission.
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| Posted 1/2/15 2:59 PM |
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AllyMally
LIF Adolescent
Member since 1/13 881 total posts
Name:
Alyson
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Re: Thoughts on this situation?
Posted by amac27
Posted by Pray4Baby2010
how did she get a hold of the laptop? Did she pick it up on her own or did your mom let her use it? If your mom let her use it, she took her chances and she should pay. If your niece took it, your sister should pay.
I think its so nice that your niece offered to pay but I wouldnt allow my dc to pay- except maybe chores around the house like someone mentioned.
My mother let's her use the laptop, but tells her she has to keep it in the living room. In the instance that she broke the laptop, she had taken it into a bedroom without permission.
I think it's great she offered to help and she should put some money to a new computer, but Grandma et her use it. Accidents happen. Was she wrong to take it into the bedroom, yes but she's 12. I do not think your sister should have to pay at all. If my child broke something that my mother let them use that's on them. My mother's puppy ate my husbands glasses. It was not her fault and we ate that cost since we offered to watch her. We werenotin theposition to afford that but accidents happen.
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| Posted 1/2/15 3:23 PM |
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nycgirl
Angels!
Member since 3/09 7721 total posts
Name:
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Re: Thoughts on this situation?
12 is not too young to be responsible.
Unreasonable for her to pay the whole thing, but I'd make her work at grandma's: shovel snow, clean tub, clean bathroom, sweep, vacuum, mop, cook a meal. "Pay" her debt off.
If she were 4, or a puppy, that's another story, but she's 12. That's beyond puberty and IMO, old enough to learn consequences. Sorry.
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| Posted 1/2/15 4:12 PM |
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ElizaRags35
My 2 Girls
Member since 2/09 20494 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Thoughts on this situation?
Posted by nycgirl
12 is not too young to be responsible.
Unreasonable for her to pay the whole thing, but I'd make her work at grandma's: shovel snow, clean tub, clean bathroom, sweep, vacuum, mop, cook a meal. "Pay" her debt off.
If she were 4, or a puppy, that's another story, but she's 12. That's beyond puberty and IMO, old enough to learn consequences. Sorry.
ITA.
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| Posted 1/2/15 4:15 PM |
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Aries14
Can't plan life...
Member since 8/08 2860 total posts
Name:
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Thoughts on this situation?
I would not make my 12 year old pay for a laptop - if it was a true accident. I would pay for it and give my 12 year old chores to "pay me back".
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| Posted 1/2/15 4:16 PM |
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gina409
TWINS!
Member since 12/09 27635 total posts
Name:
g
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Re: Thoughts on this situation?
Posted by nycgirl
12 is not too young to be responsible.
Unreasonable for her to pay the whole thing, but I'd make her work at grandma's: shovel snow, clean tub, clean bathroom, sweep, vacuum, mop, cook a meal. "Pay" her debt off.
If she were 4, or a puppy, that's another story, but she's 12. That's beyond puberty and IMO, old enough to learn consequences. Sorry.
This
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| Posted 1/2/15 4:38 PM |
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DWKS810
LIF Adolescent
Member since 3/09 554 total posts
Name:
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Re: Thoughts on this situation?
Grandma should be kept out of the "where the money comes from" part of it. Mom should pay for the computer to be repaired/replaced and daughter and mom should come to a private agreement about how daughter will contribute to the cost. Grandma shouldn't be telling Mom how to teach or not teach her daughter important lessons on responsibility, and Grandma should not be put in an awkward position to take money from her granddaughter directly.
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| Posted 1/2/15 4:40 PM |
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