Car seat safety ques: Should I mind my own business?

I just noticed a pic of my cousin boasting a new 'do on FB with the baby in the carseat in the background.
Baby is under 1 year, already FF, and the straps on the carseat are loose, the butterfly isn't across the chest in the right spot, and the right strap isn't even on the shoulder, it's so loose. I get that the kid is already 30lbs and 30+ inches long but...

Should I do a PM with the tongue in cheek PSA with the sexy muscle man reminding you where to put the straps? Should I send her a personal little message on how worried I am?

Or should I mind my own business?

I know that "if I need to even ask the question, maybe I already have my answer". I just don't think I could live with myself if something happened to that precious baby.

Car seat safety ques: Should I mind my own business?

I would make a comment like "Looks like **** is trying to escape back there" along those lines. Or "did **** already turn 1yr old?" This may open a dialog & thats when you can politely go over how unsafe the carseat is.
Is it possible she loosened belt before she took pic? Meaning she was home ..i know long shot but you never know

Re: Car seat safety ques: Should I mind my own business?

I would ' mind my business' she knows what's 'best for her kid' will be the response in my experience I've learned 'no body' wants advice and ' everyone' is defensive.

Re: Car seat safety ques: Should I mind my own business?

Does she live nearby? Could you say something like....I'm getting my car seat checked out to make sure it's installed correctly, do you want to join me?
You may not need it done but it's a way to get her to go or at least think about the car seat. I know the State Troopers in Farmingdale do checks every weekend.

Car seat safety ques: Should I mind my own business?

I would mind your own business. Is the baby almost 1? She obviously should have waited until 1 to flip the kid around, but at 30lbs, I'm sure he was so uncomfortable she felt justified. She will probably just get defensive.

Re: Car seat safety ques: Should I mind my own business?

I would mind your own business. It would just cause a fight.

Car seat safety ques: Should I mind my own business?

I have a friend who installed her convertible seat FF from the beginning and her son was under 1. I made the passive comments a couple of times referring to dd that I have her car seat RF bc that's the safest for them. Blah blah. We both recently got new cars with DVD screens in the back and she asked me if now I would FF dd. Again I said no bc it's so much safer. At the need of the day they're just going to do what they want to do. No good can come of saying something.

Car seat safety ques: Should I mind my own business?

Not related to car seats but this happened to me last year.
A friend asked me how I survived flu season with a new baby that couldn't get flu vaccine. I explained that I am not the type to keep my child locked up in the house and that I believe exposure is the best prevention. She told me that she agreed but could never forgive herself if her child got the flu. I said well I did not have a whole lot of choices. My son spent 7 weeks in the hospital and when he came home I had to care for my mom who had cancer. We were in and out of Dr's offices everyday of the week for the entire winter. I just never really stopped to think about it. But the conversation made me feel like an inadequate parent because I had to take my child to all of these high risk places during flu season. Personally I never thought about the flu, I was more concerned with RSV, which he received a vaccine for.

Though your concern comes from a good place I wouldn't say anything.

Message edited 9/5/2014 7:49:36 AM.

Re: Car seat safety ques: Should I mind my own business?

Re: Car seat safety ques: Should I mind my own business?

I think I would say something. Normally, I'm in the camp of: 'you can't tell someone how to parent'...but this is a safety issue and maybe she just doesn't know. I would say it in a nice way. I mean, esp. since she's family. I wouldn't think twice about saying something to my sister if I saw my nephew that way in the car seat.

Re: Car seat safety ques: Should I mind my own business?

Mind your own business.

Re: Car seat safety ques: Should I mind my own business?

I would mind my own business. I see pics on FB all the time of my very good friend who lets her daughter buckle herself in....needless to say the straps are twisted every which way and the butterfly is near the belly button etc....if I were to say something it would cause a big fight

Re: Car seat safety ques: Should I mind my own business?

My cousin told me that DS's straps were too loose and the butterfly wasn't quite in the right place, and I was glad that she did and wasn't offended by it at all. She showed me how to adjust it properly.
I think it really depends her personality and whether or not she is the type to be offended easily.

Re: Car seat safety ques: Should I mind my own business?

MYOB.

Re: Car seat safety ques: Should I mind my own business?

Although it would drive me nuts and I would feel guilty letting it go on, I would MYOB. It really amazes me how clueless people can be and at the same time, they'll get really nasty and defensive if someone tries to help them out. Just cross your fingers that they don't get into a bad accident.

Car seat safety ques: Should I mind my own business?

I would say something. I think in today's society everyone is so worried about offending someone but its a safety issue. It there was an accident how would you feel knowing what you said could have saved that kids life.

Re: Car seat safety ques: Should I mind my own business?

I would mind my own business regarding the FF vs RF. I FF DS last week at 18 months and if someone told me they had a problem with it I would probably tell them to shove it. The time was right for us. Everyone knows the recommendations and has instructions manuals. It's up to them what they do with it.

As for the loose straps....tough call. if I was there in person I would say something. But its hard when you saw a pic on FB. Maybe something in a joking sense to bring attention to it if anything.

Message edited 9/5/2014 9:31:49 AM.

Car seat safety ques: Should I mind my own business?

I think the ff/ rf is the parents choice and that you shouldn't get involved in that debate, but for the straps, I would say something... And I actually have in the past... Because personally I couldn't live with myself knowing I kept my mouth shut and god forbid something happened to the child bc of the straps not being correct. If the person gets offended, so be it... Safety trumps having someone mad at me

Re: Car seat safety ques: Should I mind my own business?

The FF thing I would probably send a private msg asking how long she's been FF because you "thought" car seats had to be RF at *least* until one year. I wouldn't give her a whole lesson, just ask out of curiosity and see what she says. That way you can feel out her tone. If by some chance the kid of over a yr old I wouldn't continue to comment on FF because that is their choice at that point.

The loose straps I would MYOB because you have no idea if she tightened everything up right after the pic. Maybe she was in the middle of strapping her in or unbuckling her and stopped for a selfie.

Car seat safety ques: Should I mind my own business?

i would not say anything
we had to ff dd early because she got car sick every.single.time we drove with her. i would hope she had her reasons

Re: Car seat safety ques: Should I mind my own business?

If you do say something, call her & talk about other stuff...
Then mention cute FB pic of haircut...
Then complain about car seat belts.
Do something benign like the fact they are hard to retread, but someone great showed you a neat trick.
Tell her you really want to share the trick with her since her kid is now FF.
Then show her placement of butterfly, how tight straps should be, etc.

Car seat safety ques: Should I mind my own business?

If it's your cousin and you're fairly close with her, I think you should say something ... I doubt she'll change, but at least you'll get it off your chest.

I probably would not say anything about the FF thing and only say something about the loose belt and chest clip location.

Car seat safety ques: Should I mind my own business?

Thanks everyone! it's DH's cousin and she's in a neighboring state. I don't feel close enough to call her, but we FB a lot. I would have approached it in a cheeky way, but I think I'm going to take your advice to not say anything.
There's no way she would have gotten back out of the car to strap him in properly after snapping the selfie. Although she is a very lving and dedicated parent, I'm sure it's the way she just straps him into the car. I wish there was a way for her to see a PSA that would change her life

Car seat safety ques: Should I mind my own business?

You can post those car seat safety images so she can see them ... but don't direct them at her, just make it a general post

Re: Car seat safety ques: Should I mind my own business?

If it's family, I'd just say - look, I'm not sure if you're aware but...and then explain what your concerns were. A total stranger? I'd MYOB. But unless there's a bad relationship there, I'd be totally ok saying something. Even preface with, I know it's totally none of my business, but I would never forgive myself if G-d forbid something happened...

Maybe she honestly doesn't know, and would be so thankful that you told her.