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TheDivineMrsM
2 girls 4 me!
Member since 8/08 7878 total posts
Name:
Mama mama mama....
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Has anyone stopped talking to a relative?
My brother and FSIL had some issues with my parents. He's stopped speaking to them. Dh and I are stuck in the crossfire; my brother hasn't seen us or my daughters since April. (I'm furious at that, since we did nothing to deserve it, but that's a whole other post). My older daughter is 3.5 and wants to know where her uncle is. She's sharp; I can't BS her. Though I'm tempted, I can't tell her that her that her uncle is being an ass. What in the world do I say?
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Posted 8/8/14 8:28 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
LemonHead
Sour Girl
Member since 3/08 5271 total posts
Name:
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Has anyone stopped talking to a relative?
We are in a similar situation with my brother, but they live in PA so I haven't had to explain much to my DD. She has still been speaking to her cousins on the phone so she doesn't realize anything is amiss. I am heart broken bc I had a baby in April and they have yet to acknowledge her.
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| Posted 8/8/14 10:13 AM |
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ANewDayHasCome
Love multiplies, not divides
Member since 11/12 14481 total posts
Name:
Me
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Has anyone stopped talking to a relative?
Dh and I don't talk to his mom or his sister. In fact his sister only saw dd when she was 2 days old in the hospital....she's now almost 14 months! Both weren't at her 1st birthday. His mom hasn't seen her since she was 3 months old.
Dd is young enough that I don't need to explain it.
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| Posted 8/8/14 12:12 PM |
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PregowithTwins
My boys turned 8
Member since 5/11 2451 total posts
Name:
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Has anyone stopped talking to a relative?
I would just tell DD he moved far away. No need to explain to her.
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| Posted 8/8/14 1:04 PM |
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Cheeks24
Living a dream
Member since 1/08 8589 total posts
Name:
Cheeks
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Has anyone stopped talking to a relative?
Have her call him and ask when he's coming over  Put him on the spot!
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| Posted 8/8/14 1:12 PM |
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IVFmiracle
Complete
Member since 12/12 4088 total posts
Name:
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Re: Has anyone stopped talking to a relative?
We have family that we likely won't see often as DD grows. We plan to just tell her that they are extremely busy people and coming to see us is very difficult for them. It's a little easier for us to make it believable to her bc they live 6 hours away.
(I'm not lying. They are busy.... Busy being arces!) 
Message edited 8/8/2014 1:32:33 PM.
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| Posted 8/8/14 1:30 PM |
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IVFmiracle
Complete
Member since 12/12 4088 total posts
Name:
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Re: Has anyone stopped talking to a relative?
Posted by Cheeks24
Have her call him and ask when he's coming over Put him on the spot!
Although I am a fan of this approach as well.
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| Posted 8/8/14 1:31 PM |
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Nic1229
LIF Adolescent
Member since 5/13 639 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: Has anyone stopped talking to a relative?
Posted by IVFmiracle
Posted by Cheeks24
Have her call him and ask when he's coming over Put him on the spot!
Although I am a fan of this approach as well.
Also a fan of this!!!
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| Posted 8/8/14 6:40 PM |
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ChristinaM128
LIF Adult
Member since 8/12 4043 total posts
Name:
Christina
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Re: Has anyone stopped talking to a relative?
I'm not in this situation but have a very fired italian extended family, and know the situation all too well as it exists with extended family members.
While you SHOULD NOT get in the middle of it or take sides, I think that you should make clear to both sets of fighting relatives that you will see both. I'm a little confused why you are not seeing your brother. To me, that seems like you are taking your parents' side.
For your sake and your daughter's sake, I would still get together once in a while with your brother and fsil (without parents present, but not behind their back) and make it be that your parents accept that. They don't have to like it, but why should you lose a brother, and your child lose an uncle?
Unless of course you don't WANT to see your brother- then take the advise of above-mentioned posters.
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| Posted 8/9/14 10:56 AM |
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TheDivineMrsM
2 girls 4 me!
Member since 8/08 7878 total posts
Name:
Mama mama mama....
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Re: Has anyone stopped talking to a relative?
Posted by ChristinaM128
I'm not in this situation but have a very fired italian extended family, and know the situation all too well as it exists with extended family members.
While you SHOULD NOT get in the middle of it or take sides, I think that you should make clear to both sets of fighting relatives that you will see both. I'm a little confused why you are not seeing your brother. To me, that seems like you are taking your parents' side.
For your sake and your daughter's sake, I would still get together once in a while with your brother and fsil (without parents present, but not behind their back) and make it be that your parents accept that. They don't have to like it, but why should you lose a brother, and your child lose an uncle?
Unless of course you don't WANT to see your brother- then take the advise of above-mentioned posters.
Just to clarify, I want to see my brother. I've spent the past few months calling/texting/emailing him. I've done everything but send an owl. He occasionally responds, but has made 0 effort to see us. DH and I have done nothing to deserve this; we made it clear that we're not getting involved. (My parents totally agree with this stance; they actually refuse to tell me what spurred this disagreement b/c they don't want to affect my relationship with my brother). But my brother and FSIL seem to have ditched us anyway.
I've used the "they're working a lot" excuse to death. I once told DD that they can't visit b/c they live far away, but DH's sister lives in California and they Skype pretty frequently. So now she's starting to ask why her uncle doesn't do the same. 
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| Posted 8/9/14 4:43 PM |
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DRMom
Two in Blue
Member since 5/05 20223 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: Has anyone stopped talking to a relative?
Next time she starts asking take a video. Then send it to him and say, your niece wants to see you. Ready to move on? If he does not take action after that then hes a heartless a&&hole
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| Posted 8/9/14 6:04 PM |
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