When do you say something to a kid/parent?

There is one kid (7 years old) at our pool (co-op), and he is consistently causing problems with my daughter (11 months) and other younger kids.

For example, today his parents told him not to go near the baby, and not to splash around the baby, but then they sit in the lounge chairs and pretty much give him free reign. I kept my daughter in the shallow end while I talked to a neighbor, and he asked "will she cry if I splash her?". I told him Yes, and to please not splash her, and within 10 minutes he had splashed in her direction. His parents were about 20 feet away (he can swim very well), and so they didn't see. I loudly said, "Please don't splash her" trying to speak loud enough for his parents to hear, and he just yelled "I didn't, it didn't hit her". It's a huge, in ground pool, and I stay in one shallow corner.

He also asked if he could play with the baby's toys, and the parents told him not to, and I told him she puts everything in her mouth so I don't want people to touch them. Again, within 10 minutes he grabbed a toy from the top of her float.

I realize he could have some kind of behavioral diagnosis and so I understand, but his parents don't follow through or supervise him, and it causes myself and several other parents to just leave the pool.

I hate confrontation. But it sucks that no one else can enjoy the pool. Would you just tell him no? Say something to the parents? We all live here so I don't want any enemies!

When do you say something to a kid/parent?

Is there any way that the co-op can put up some sort of divider between the shallow and deep end so he can't get by? And yes, I realize that this is the passive-aggressive solution lol

Re: When do you say something to a kid/parent?

I feel your pain believe me!!!! I have a issue with my next door neighbors kids right now. It's a hard spot especially when the parents don't do or say anything!! I would just keep saying the samething over and over again please do not touch her stuff please do not splash her and maybe look over at the parents when it happens? Is there a board you can complain to?

Message edited 7/1/2014 9:51:41 AM.

When do you say something to a kid/parent?

As for the splashing I'd probably ignore unless the kid came right up to your DD and shot her right in the face. Its a pool and kids play and splash. Not sure it can be avoided.

And the toys - I'd keep everything in a small area and only give her one or two at a time to play with. If he kept up with the toys I'd just say something to the parents.

When do you say something to a kid/parent?

This happened to me recently, where the child was getting barely a reprimand from his parents while pushing/shoving and taking toys from my DS and another child. First time it happened, fine, it happens. By the second and third, we had to start reprimanding the child ourselves.

I believe this child also had some behavioral issues, which *some* parents view as a pass for free reign (heavy on the *some* parents, because not all are like this and I don't want anyone to get offended that im generalizing or something) and it just creates more and more behavioral issues down the road.

I would try not to go to the pool when they're there, but if you end up together there and they are doing nothing, I would keep reprimanding him until someone gets the point.

Re: When do you say something to a kid/parent?

When do you say something to a kid/parent?

Unfortunately - the kids who should be watched at the pool are usually the ones who aren't. I went to our pools meeting and basically the basic complaint was kids misbehaving while nobody was watching them.

Is there a lifeguard/manager? I would say something to them. Our pool does a "time out" for kids after a few warnings.

I've had issues at our pool when my kids were younger like that - some girl who was maybe 4 came up to me and dumped a bucket of water on my DS who was under a year and then on me. I asked her to stop and she continued to do it - nobody seemed to notice other than the lifeguard who eventually said something...

Re: When do you say something to a kid/parent?

I would reprimand him myself. I don't understand why so many parents do not bother to keep an eye on their own kids! If one of my sons splashed a baby(they are 6 and 4), they would be in timeout, sitting on a chair at the side of the pool. If it kept happening, I would take them home.

A 7 year old should not be interested in baby toys, either. If he has an issue, again, the parents need to spend extra time watching him.

I would tell the patents what he is doing.

Re: When do you say something to a kid/parent?

He sounds like he's looking for attention. I would lay down the law and tell him, He can't splash or play with the baby's toys, but you would love to see some "swim tricks". Then give him things to do ie/ can you swim in a circle? Can you swim across the pool in 2 minutes?... Unfortunately this is his parents job, but clearly they are lazy parents. I wouldn't spend the whole time babysitting him, after a little while I would say, ok, it was fun playing with you, but now I have to take with my neighbor, see you next time! If he continues to bother you remind him of what you told him, and if it continues speak to his parents.

Re: When do you say something to a kid/parent?

When do you say something to a kid/parent?

When DD was younger we would have the same problems at our condo pool. Some parents this it's "time off" for them because the kiddie pool is gated off. I have reprimanded the child if they were doing something that would have harmed my daughter. I also have called over the lifeguard from the larger pool to reprimand the parents, which worked well. Get the co-op staff to help out in patroling the pool. Good luck!