Need some help re: our 3-year old

To preface this, we had a baby boy at the start of May but this started in April when she turned 3, but it has gotten worse since the baby arrived.

DD screams - like WW3 is breaking out when we give her a shower or bath. She refuses to let us wash her & struggles the entire time. It takes 2 of us to give her a bath as one has to hold her down and one has to rinse her. She is desperately afraid of water getting in her eyes, up her nose or in her mouth. We have tried goggles to no luck, we tried having her hold a wash cloth over her face but she removes it and we have lost all our patience with her. She has resorted to throwing temper tantrums in the tub if we don't stop to the point she will hurt herself.

We have no idea where this fear is coming from and want It to end. We r ready to give up bc bath nights are a living hell for us and it takes over 90-minutes to get her washed and cleaned and then post-bath routine.

Please help with any advice. This should not be traumatic!

Message edited 6/22/2014 10:48:16 PM.

Re: Need some help re: our 3-year old

Maybe try distracting her with something fun in the bath like toys, bath crayons, bubbles, etc. If she's engaged in playing with something she might not pay as much attention as to what's going on around her and you can clean her without such a fight.

You can also try having her pick out a special sponge, both soap, towel, etc. Anything to get her excited about bath time. If you make the experience more fun and less stress for her she might start enjoying it a little more.

Good luck!

Re: Need some help re: our 3-year old

I agree with the PP. I'm sure you've tried bath toys already... but there are a lot of other bath things out there that might distract her.
DS is 3.5. he LOVES these fingerpaint soaps from Crayola. they are different colors like paint and he can rub them on himself or the tub and then they turn into soap. he likes drawing pictures on the side of the tub with them
Crayola also makes these color drops- you put one in the water and it changes the color of the water. She might like being able to pick out her color every night.
I also got 2 of those soft bath cups (that you use for rinsing their hair) so I have one, and DS gets one to "help" me rinse his hair. I think at this age, they like feeling like they have some control over stuff... so that might help her, too. if she feels like shes the one in control of rinsing, where the water goes, etc.
good luck!!!

Need some help re: our 3-year old

What about trying the shower head? I know you said she's afraid of water going in her eyes and up her nose but at least it's a little more controlled this way. DS thought it was hysterical when we used it with him recently.

Re: Need some help re: our 3-year old

Have you tried a shampoo shield hat?

Need some help re: our 3-year old

Omg I am going through the same exact thing! Same age, same situation! We started giving her showers, we have the shower head that comes off with the hose......that seems to be better. But it has been hell

Need some help re: our 3-year old

I agree with PP. We went through it with ds and it was just a phase. Frustrating though. Anyway, we alternate with baths and showers using the detachable shower head. And to ease his 'anxiety', we only wash his hair 2 times a week and we use a large cup with water to wet his head.

Good luck!

Need some help re: our 3-year old

We have a similar problem. DS does not want to get washed he only wants to play. We just suffer through it. Try to get the washing done and then he can play.

Re: Need some help re: our 3-year old

Same thing over here. Also a 3 year old. We've tried everything. He does seem to tolerate the shower better, so we have him shower with Daddy when practical. We also don't wash his hair everytime when he has a bath. It has helped a little to have him "look at the ceiling" and "cover his ears" when trying to rinse his hair.

Re: Need some help re: our 3-year old

DS was like this, from the age of 1.5 to ?? exactly when it ended (before 3.5)
So bad, once he pooped in the tub from fear...

For our sanity, we washed his tushy in the sink every night, but did baths twice-three times a week when I had the time & energy. That's probably the best advice I can give you.

I did try EVERYTHING & nothing helped (goggles, every hat, bucket & device out there that I could find).

Playing "shark" or "mermaid" helped a bit: when you have them lie on their tummy in the tub and look up. I only use my hand to wash the hair.

Now he's older, he holds his eyes shut & his face up.

Re: Need some help re: our 3-year old

Message edited 6/23/2014 3:11:07 PM.

Need some help re: our 3-year old

My friends daughter went through this, she ended up getting in the bath tub with her and they bathed together for a few days before she was ok on her own.