Gifts when not attending party?

What's the etiquette with gifts when your DC is invited to a party but can't attend?

Dd and I met 4 other moms-babies at a library class this past winter. We exchanged numbers since our kids were all around the same age and text to meet up maybe once every 2 or 3 weeks randomly at a nearby playground. The kids are all turning 2 within the next month or so and 2 of the moms invited us to their dc's parties at home. We can't make the parties but I wondered if I'm expected to get the kids gifts anyway? Originally I was going to, but then Dh said they might feel obligated to get dd a gift since her birthday is at the end of the month (we will not be inviting them to dd's party) and he thinks that at that age, if you're not that close, you don't have to gift anything if you can't attend.

I don't want to be rude either, so what do other moms do in this situation?

Re: Gifts when not attending party?

I would probably get a little something, most likely an outfit from Carter's. They always have sales and coupons.

Message edited 6/12/2014 11:05:47 PM.

Gifts when not attending party?

If I see them all the time I would give something small.

Re: Gifts when not attending party?

I always give a gift if we can't attend a party. To me, if you don't give a gift AND you aren't reciprocating the party invitation, then it will seem like you're trying to cut off the friendship (or acquaintance).

Re: Gifts when not attending party?

I would pick up something for them.

Re: Gifts when not attending party?

I don't think you HAVE to get a gift but if it makes you feel better, get a little something small.

Re: Gifts when not attending party?

Thanks, I'm going to go with my original gut and get them something, probably small so they don't feel obligated to get dd something.

Silly follow up question: at what point do you not get gifts when you have to decline a party (obviously it depends on how close to you are with the other child, etc) but I can't imagine getting gifts for everything in her class regardless of if we attend or not when school time comes, right?

Or do you always gift, no matter what?

Re: Gifts when not attending party?

Re: Gifts when not attending party?

When they get to elementary school, and you rap no I do not think you have to give a gift. If it's for a close friend then I do. Also, we rsvp'd to a party and then my son got sick. I sent the gift in with him to school. I feel like if you rsvp yes and can't go, you should give a gift. Jmo

Eta: that being said, if someone couldn't come to one of my son's parties at the last minute, I would absolutely NOT expect them to send a gift...so it could really go either way...whatever you are comfortable with

Message edited 6/13/2014 11:37:09 AM.

Re: Gifts when not attending party?

Re: Gifts when not attending party?

a gift is def. not expected but its always nice to give/get something small like an outfit or a toy

Gifts when not attending party?

Depends how close you are. I wouldn't do that for a school birthday.

Gifts when not attending party?

I would pick up something small. I usually send a card with a gift card or something small if we cannot make a party. When we weren't able to make my nephew's birthday l had ordered from Target a fisherprice basketball net delivered. For someone in our family I always send the gift I plan on getting. For just a friend I see every now and then just a card with something small and simple! :) hope this helps!