Moms who were unsuccessful with BFing #1...

No drama please and if this post does not apply to you then please just leave

If you wanted to BF #1 and were unsuccessful did you try with #2?

I wanted to BF DS, it did not work, I pumped but never had enough and in 4 weeks pumped myself dry.

I dont know if I want to even try for #2...I feel like I want to give the colstrum but then go to formula...

Can you share what you did for #2? thanks

Moms who were unsuccessful with BFing #1...

DS was a preemie. I had major problems trying to pump and never got an adequate supply. Eventually I gave up.
When/If we have another, depending on circumstances, I may try. If we were to have another preemie, I probably would not try at all. It caused me a lot of extra stress at that time of my life.

Re: Moms who were unsuccessful with BFing #1...

I tried my a$$ off with my DD but my milk supply was crap. I had the hardest time trying to BF. By the end of the week she lost so much weight I had to start with formula. I pumped and gave her as much as a could but by 8 weeks there just wasn't much left.

I have to be honest, the whole experience was NOTHING like I expected. Aside from my milk issues trying to BF her was exhausting, stressful, and I kind of hated it. I really tried but it just wasn't going the way I had hoped. It was almost a relief when I finally just threw in the towel.

When I was pregnant with my DS I kept trying to get myself excited and ready to try again but I had another $hitty C-section experience and I just didn't have it in me to try or even care once he was born. It wasn't worth the stress and aggravation so we started on bottles right away. It was the best choice for me at the time.

I have no regrets about not trying with DS. He's happy and healthy and that is ALL that matters.

Re: Moms who were unsuccessful with BFing #1...

Re: Moms who were unsuccessful with BFing #1...

Re: Moms who were unsuccessful with BFing #1...

I really wanted to BF #1. He never took to it and it was about 3 months of constant battles and crying and pain from clogged ducts for me (I would pump but never get much out.) I finally gave up.

With DS#2, he latched right away. He was actually getting enough even though he was killing me and most days I kept thinking I should give up but since he seemed happy and I didn't get clogged ducts, I kept with it. I went to see a LC so many times and no matter what I did, halt the time it felt/feels like he's trying to rip the nipple right off!! But I wanted to stick with it.

I am now just past 10 months and he gets only BM. I am hoping to keep it this way until I switch him to regular milk at around a year. I would continue after that but I really can't handle pumping at work much longer - it's just too much for me.

I will say, DS#1 slept through the night by around 9 weeks. #2 - we don't sleep.
I don't know if it's b/c of the BM not being as filling or I think I made some mistakes with bringing #2 into bed and co-sleeping part of the night so he is used to being able to roll over and eat. That part, I do not like. But, overall, I'm glad I gave it another go.

Moms who were unsuccessful with BFing #1...

I'm still on #1 who never latched. She's 12 weeks old and I still pump for her. I know if we have another, I will definitely try to BF again and will probably try harder and not give up as easily.

I know several women who were unsuccessful with #1 and were able to BF #2 with no problem. Gives me hope!

Re: Moms who were unsuccessful with BFing #1...

Posted by Hofstra26



Seeing how she turned out made me even more okay with my decision to not BF my DS. I didn't have it in me.

Moms who were unsuccessful with BFing #1...

BF with #1 was a disaster... It just never worked.. even pumping was a fail. When we have #2, I want to try again. At least for the collustrum (sp?)If it works it works, if it doesn't it doesn't.

Re: Moms who were unsuccessful with BFing #1...

I'm nowhere close to having #2, but I think about this all the time. I was gung-ho about BFing #1, but I had a hard time, and honestly gave up quickly after I saw how much more the nursettes satisfied her. I wasn't emotionally able to handle BFing at that time, IMO. I felt a lot of guilt about giving up after only a few days. DD is almost 2 now, and she is a highly-verbal, intelligent little girl, who is very bonded to me, so I don't feel like she was hurt by not being breast fed. When it comes to #2, I will probably try a little, at least for the colostrum, but supplement with formula from the start. I might make more of an effort to pump next time around, especially since the good pumps are now free with health insurance. I cannot handle being the only one to feed a baby. I did not do well with the minimal sleep during the newborn stage, and it made me an emotional wreck, so I know I will never EBF.

Moms who were unsuccessful with BFing #1...

For DS (#1) i tried to BF and he had problems latching. I pumped for 8 weeks then switched to formula. It was a horrible experience when I was tryig the first couple of weeks to BF, we were both crying all the time, I was stressed, he was losing weight...etc etc. I wanted to try to BF with #2 but my attitude was if it doesn't work I am not driving myself crazy and I wil switch to formula. For #1 I felt very overwhelmed and uninformed so I decided with #2 to be prepared. I made sure to meet with an LC while in the hospital. I had the number of an LC on hand for when I got home - and I did end up going twice. I did EBP DD for 3.5 mths and then switched once I went back to work. It was really hard at first and painful and several times I wanted to give up but I just kept saying get to 4 weeks when everyone says it gets easier and then decide. And it did get easier so I figured I'd keep going! I am glad I did it and was able to experience it, it is easier in some ways (no making bottles / cleaning / going downstairs in middle of night) and harder in others (worrying about where to BF or pump if going out)

Moms who were unsuccessful with BFing #1...

I had the same issues as you did with the supply with my 1st and had to stop a month into it. I tried again with #2 and still had the supply issues so had to stop around the same time.
I was very commited and tried everything to help my supply - nothing worked.

Moms who were unsuccessful with BFing #1...

The best advice I have been given as a parent is you have to take care of yourself first- if BF is not the best choice for you then FF. A happy mommy can provide the best care for her children. I watched my sister beat herself up because she had a difficult time BF her second child- ultimately my niece developed multiple food allergies and my sister switched to formula.

Moms who were unsuccessful with BFing #1...

If you think you'll regret not trying, no harm in giving it a shot! You already know that your DS is perfectly happy and healthy if it doesn't work out.

In the end, if it doesn't work, it doesn't work. But I just don't want anyone to look back and wish they had tried--especially if this is potentially your last child (which not sure if it is!).

Re: Moms who were unsuccessful with BFing #1...

If we ever get to #2 I will try again. I feel like there was so much I didn't know the first time that may have helped me have a better supply/better experience. But if it doesn't work I will be ok with that since DD is just, well, perfect!

Moms who were unsuccessful with BFing #1...

I don't fully qualify to answer this post but I had a veryyyy tough time getting dd to breast feed (pumped and gave bottles just a day after coming home from the hospital). In the end it got easier and I bf til she was 7months.
Ds is a week old and from the moment he was born he latched immediately and it has been a ton easier with him.
I would try with #2 and if it works great, if not go to formula or pumping.

Moms who were unsuccessful with BFing #1...

I am not currently pregnant with #2 but I think about this a lot. I never really got any milk at all and trying and "failing" with DS was a huge contributing factor into me having PPD issues. Because of that I am kind of scared of trying again, it not working out and me going into a tailspin over it. I honestly don't know what I will do when the time comes!

Re: Moms who were unsuccessful with BFing #1...

Moms who were unsuccessful with BFing #1...

I tempted to nurse Ds. It did not go well. It ended with him having a dairy allergy and needing Nutramigen. I felt like such a complete failure, and seriously had myself in a funk.

When I was pregnant with DD. I decided to not even try again. I was afraid of failing and was afraid to be in that funk, trying to take care of 2 kids.

Now parts of me wish I didn’t feel that way and would have at least tried, but that quickly fades when I see I have 2 healthy babies.

Re: Moms who were unsuccessful with BFing #1...

DD wouldn't latch and so I pumped, but that didn't work out either.

DS was born 3 weeks ago and he latched right away at the hospital and bf really well, but to be honest it didn't work out as well as expected. Once home, his latch decreased and he would take over 1-hr to feed bc he was loosing his latch. I started to pump exclusively and that worked out really well and I had an over supply. Sadly though, I now have had mastistis twice and this has severely affected my supply and I've been in so much pain and the fever has not helped!

If you want to try to bf - try! If you don't and wants to go straight to formula, then do that! It's whatever you want, have the time and energy to do!

Re: Moms who were unsuccessful with BFing #1...

I have friends who have done both. Tried with #1, had a rough time, and went right to formula with #2. Very happy with their choice. I also have friends who tried with #1, had a rough time, and had a much easier time with #2. Also very happy with their choice.

I think in a lot of circumstances the people in the latter group were people whose BF experience was made more difficult by various external factors -- early delivery, being told the antibiotics they were taking weren't safe for BF, baby being given formula against their wishes in the hospital, supplementing early on, not having adequate support, etc. For many of them, removing those obstacles made a huge difference.

But, other friends did try again, have issues again, and go to formula with less guilt than the first time because they knew how great their first turned out.

It's really up to you and if you want to try, and if you think its worth it. Or, if you prefer to just call it a day and know that your child will thrive on formula. I am as pro-BF as they come, but ultimately what is best for baby is what is best for mama.

Message edited 5/30/2014 2:51:16 PM.

Re: Moms who were unsuccessful with BFing #1...

Yes first child was unsuccessful only lasted 6 weeks milk never came in so stressed.

My second child I wanted to try it again she is now 14 months and I am still breastfeeding!! I also pumped for the year while I was at work. so yes set mini goals for yourself relax and don't stress. I never thought I would make it passed a few months

Re: Moms who were unsuccessful with BFing #1...

I was unsuccessful with my first son, and was hard on myself about it. I let other people's comments get to me.

The second time, 2 years later, I nursed my second son, mainly to see what all of the fuss was about. I did it for about a month, and did not like it at all. My supply was not great and he was not thriving the way my older son did in his first month. So I stopped, this time with zero guilt.

My sons are 6 and 4 and doing great. I honestly cannot tell the difference between babies who were BF or those who were FF.

Re: Moms who were unsuccessful with BFing #1...

I BF DS for 10 days. It was painful and he wasn't gaining properly, so I started to supplement. Eventually we went to formula feeding and I never looked back.

I'm not pg, but when we have #2, I plan on trying to BF again...at least to give the colostrum. Perhaps #2 will latch better or I will produce more and it will work out. Otherwise, I have no issues with FF again. He's such a mama's boy and I don't feel like we missed out on any bonding. And he didn't get sick until he was well over a year old, so all in all, it worked out well for us.

Re: Moms who were unsuccessful with BFing #1...

Thank you all so so much