What does DH do after work?

Just wondering because we got into it this morning over this

He usually leaves around 12pm & comes home anytime from 9:30pm to some time the next day- totally unpredictable & it's very annoying, but that's besides the point.

The days he is home in the morning, I expect him to pay some attention to our DD.
He just gets ready, eats breakfast, watches TV & leaves.
In the meantime, DD is sticking her head in my shower & doing death defying stunts off her rocking chair while I'm trying to get ready.

When I ask him to play with her a little because I will be with her all day, he tells me that these hours in the morning are the same as if her worked a 9-5 job & came home.

My point to him was that most husbands come home & the kids get handed to them (even if it's only for a little) so some of the responsibility can be shared.

Sorry this got so long & I don't want to make him sound bad, he has a crazy job & when he is home & rested he's great with her.

So I was just wondering how it is in other homes.

What does DH do after work?

My DH is a chef and works very odd hours himself.

He ALWAYS spends his time with our two boys before and after work, he helps with things around the house-more so when he is off or has a later day but even really busy days he makes time for them

What does DH do after work?

We both work but when we are home it is both our responsibility to play with/ take care of DS

Re: What does DH do after work?

My DH work hours are from 8-6 and mine are from 8:15-3:00. I have the farther drive to work and get up at 5:30 to get myself and DD ready. DH purposely gets up early in the morning to help me get ready and out the door. He works a long day and sometimes travels for work, but the minute he gets a home, he can't wait to play with DD. He will help out with anything after work and always shares responsibility.

What does DH do after work?

DH is gone from 7:30 to 4 or 4:30. When he gets home, DD is just getting up from her nap so she's a bit of a lump. He's tired too so many days they don't do much until after dinner. That's when they play, he helps do her bath and get her ready for bed (we switch off), and we both put her to bed. If the weather's nice he'll sometimes take her outside after work or do yard work.

Before he gets ready in the morning he'll also get her up and hang out with her since she wakes up early lately. They'll get up around 6 and let me sleep until he gets in the shower at 7.

It's tough bc we all need a break sometimes and to feel like the responsibility is shared. However, DH often comes home totally wiped out from a rough day and I let him go in our room to chill out or even nap until dinner. I'd love to go off duty for a little while but it works out fine since DD takes a long nap right before he gets home. Once that ends (hopefully not for a VERY long time), I'll probably feel differently.

Re: What does DH do after work?

Dh takes over at 6pm. At that point dd is already fed dinner. He plays with her for an hour, does her bedtime routine and reads her books. He only gets that hour and a half with her during the weekday and that's his time. I will be in the room while they play and if it's bath time we do that together. He DEF helps a lot.

Re: What does DH do after work?

this sounds pretty familiar I'm a SAHM, we have one DS who is 3.5. DH works 7-4, and is home by 5 most days.
he is really good with DS when he HAS to be (like a month ago I was in a wedding and DH had him all day, took him to a birthday party, ran a couple errands, etc). BUT he has a hard time just playing with DS.
So after DH gets home, we usually end up doing everything together. like last night, DH wanted to get his veggie garden planted. DH looked like a deer in headlights when I said "you take him out there, i'll do a few things in here and come out later...." SO all 3 of us ended up doing it together :-/
DH does cook dinner most nights though- he likes to cook. so he does help out that way. he hardly ever does bath though, but will read a book to DS most nights.
and we've talked about it. DH says that because I'm home, I have DS's nap time and nursery school time (2 AMs a week) to get stuff done, whereas he doesn't have that. so he needs some time when he gets home to do stuff on his own. which I get... but still annoying!!!
I'm hoping as DS gets older, DH will be more comfortable taking him and doing things with him.

What does DH do after work?

we eat as a family..DH does bath time with her and plays a little then its bed time.

What does DH do after work?

DH gets home before I do and I have DD with me. He will cook, clean any dishes in the sink, watch some tv. When I get home, he'll usually take dd out of her seat and either change her diaper if needed or get in a few minutes of cuddle time.

Re: What does DH do after work?

Re: What does DH do after work?

Re: What does DH do after work?

What does DH do after work?

Dh leaves for work at 6:15am so he is never home when she wakes. He gets home at 6:20pm and he will play with dd for a little and if it's a bath night he handles that. Dd goes to bed around 7:15 so they don't have much time together. One of us does the bottle while the other prepares dinner
On weekends I find myself telling him to play with dd so I can do those little things like shower and pee in peace. Things he always does without a peep from dd

Re: What does DH do after work?

I work and my husband is home w/ the kids. When I get home, he cooks while I play with the kids. When both of us are home, we are both doing something.....cooking, cleaning, fixing something, spending time w/ the kids....
I look forward to the time I am home with them!

What does DH do after work?

Our schedule is a little different because I work from home. DH is 90% of the time finished work before I'm done. When I finish working, I start making dinner and DH is playing with DD.

Re: What does DH do after work?

I'm a sahm and dh rarely sees our girls awake at night. They are in bed by 7:15 and he doesn't get in until after 9 most nights. On the rare occasion he is home before bedtime. He plays with the girls and reads them bedtime stories. In the mornings I get up before everyone to get ready. He helps me get the girls ready for the day and plays a little with them usually about 20-30 mins. After that he showers and leaves for work.

Message edited 5/14/2014 9:19:09 AM.

What does DH do after work?

DH and I pretty much get home at the same time. When we do, it's all hands on deck. Usually one of us will cook a quick dinner while the other plays with/cares for DS. It is pretty much a 50/50 effort when it comes to household chores and DS.

Re: What does DH do after work?

We both work full time and sometimes work late and wknds. After work DH will help entertain DS while I get dinner going. We eat as a family, then we all play together. While i do bath, he cleans up the kitchen for dinner, pours bottles,etc. When DS goes to bed, we clean up the house and toys, get stuff ready for the next day, I do my part time work and we both try to exercise.

I guess we have a pretty good system down... DH know he has to help with DS and house stuff. But I think every mom still has more they end up doing

What does DH do after work?

I definitely do more in general - but DH is always the first to say "do what you need to do, I got him". I don't feel like I need to ask him, he just does it. He often works 12-14 hours a day. 99% of the time he gets up with DS at 6. And if he happens to be home before bedtime he will play, help out with dinner/baths. Having a baby has really made me see how selfless my DH is

Re: What does DH do after work?

My DH often works 12 pm-1:30 am. He has the girls in the am from about 9am, feeds them, puts them in for naps and gets ready for work. He does dishes and laundry in between. He does take some down time for his tv shows and video games, etc. He is off 2 days a week and watches them all day while I work.

Idk if you work, but I do so my DH may do more b/c we both work. If I didn't work, I'd still expect him to watch them while I showered and got dressed.

Re: What does DH do after work?

DH works 8-3pm (he is home by 4)

He picks the kids up at 530.
He will put one of the two to bed (feed/bathe/get into bed)

Then he works out 2-3 nights a week, goes out with friends 1-2 and is home 1-2.

The only issue that I have, I wish he would do some house related chores in the hour+ between getting home and picking the kids up. He naps or catches up on DVR'd shows.

I come home and immediately begin chores/dinner etc by 530 and don't stop until the kids are in bed.

He also only does about 15% of the housework when we both agreed he would do more like 40%.

ETA - he takes out trash, cleans cat box, does his laundry. That's about it for house work. He will load/unload the dishwasher too. I do wish he would "play" more with the kids too. But, I remember my mother NEVER playing with his, in fact I distinctly remember her saying "I don't have time to play" and that's just how it was. That was the reason I had 4 siblings.

Message edited 5/14/2014 11:51:29 AM.

Re: What does DH do after work?

My DH works long, sometimes random hours, but if he's home for bedtime, he runs the show-cleans DD after dinner, brushes teeth, potty, pjs, book. I then take over to say our goodnight prayer & sing her a lullabye. This started when I was pregnant w/ #2. I still don't get that time to myself bc I'm w/ the baby. On his days off, I have to ask/tell him exactly what I need him to do. He always does it & wants to help, but for some reason I have to spell it out for him.

What does DH do after work?

Some days he is completely engaged with them, but sometimes he's got his headphones on with the ipad on the couch. I don't really say anything because he comes home and cleans almost everyday. He needs some down time, too. He also will pick them up from me (they come to work with me) when I need him to or just because.

Re: What does DH do after work?

DH & I leave for work at the same time but most days he gets home about an hour or so before I do, 2 days a week we get home at the same time. I always feed the baby dinner & DH always puts the baby to sleep. We usually give him a bath together. We both play with the baby in the evening, either we take turns or all play together. DH is usually pretty good about spending time with the baby & taking care of him. I wish he'd take the initiative sometimes to do housework like cleaning bathrooms, taking out garbage, cooking dinner, putting things away, etc... that stuff always falls on me, and because of that, it often doesn't all get done.

Re: What does DH do after work?

We had this problem for a long time. My DH has a lot of trouble "playing". He doesn't enjoy sitting on the floor with toys/books, etc. However, he is more than willing to do something he enjoys with her - so we work things out around that. For example - he puts her in the stroller and goes to buy milk. It's helpful, keeps her entertained and occupied and he enjoys the walk. Or he doesn't mind folding laundry - and she will sit with him (and unfold) - while he folds - it works because she is entertained, and one of us would have had to do it anyway. He would even rather feed her breakfast than sit on the floor and "play". So they eat together and everyone wins. Not sure it would work for everyone - but it helps us a lot.