Hitting at preschool

My 3.5yo DS has been hitting his teachers at school when he gets frustrated. He has hit DH and I too, but when that happens, he gets an immediate timeout. When he's at school, obviously we can't do that. I have asked the teacher to tell me every time he does it at school so we can address it at home, but I find that b/c of the disconnect in time, any punishment we give him doesn't have the same effect as it does at home. I mean, if he hits the teacher at 10 am, we don't know about it until he gets home at 12:45 and we read the teacher's notes. By then, I feel like it's too late (and too confusing?) to give him a timeout. We've tried taking away toys, but again, I'm not sure it really sinks in that we're doing it because he hit the teacher 3 hours ago, KWIM?

How do you handle misbehaving at school?

Re: Hitting at preschool

How do the teacher's handle it when he hits them? What is their discipline for behavior like this in class?
I know at my DD's preschool, they have a red, yellow, green system.
If you do something bad, you go from green into the yellow and then to the red.
Red means you have to go to the office and sit for a "time out".
Do they have time outs or something similar?
I would think they need to address it right then and there because like you said, at this age, punishment hours later really isn't as effective.

Message edited 5/2/2014 1:11:50 PM.

Hitting at preschool

I agree.. punishment at home at that age for something at school is very hard. and very confusing.

I say let the school handle it. You can TALK about it at home if they listen but actual punishment is hard. When they are a bit older consequences of school actions at home will make sense. 3.5y may be too young.

But when she got the point, she'd get less 'fun' at home if she was 'bad' at school. If she's good at school she has more fun at home. Kindergarten really drove this home with daily reports. Then again we lost daily reports from 3yrs up in preschool unless it was a major thing.

If she misbehaved she was told we were disappointed. But our school did time outs. They had to sit in 'thinking time'.

Re: Hitting at preschool

I think they must do some version of a timeout because sometimes at home he will randomly place himself in a "timeout" by standing near the wall. That's not the way DH and I do it, so it has to be coming from the teachers, lol. We have a parent/teacher meeting on Wed so I'm definitely going to ask about it.

We do always sit down and talk to him about it when he does these things, and he knows he's not supposed to. He will actually go up to the teacher the next day and apologize on his own, which is good, but then a few days later he does it again.

Re: Hitting at preschool

I agree with letting the school handle the immediate discipline for it, and then talk to him about it at home too so he knows you know what goes on at school. Talk to the teachers and come up with a system for how they can handle it immediately ( time outs, whatever.)
DS is 3.5 and we've been hsbjng similar issues at his preschool, but with him hurting other kids :-/ I'm a SAHM do he only goes 2 mornings a week. One time I know the teacher gave him time out, told me about it and then I talked to him at home. This past week there was another issue, and he ended up in the directors office :-/ she called me, told me what happened and then had me talk to him on the phone. I thought that was good, too because it let him hear from me more immediately after the issue. Do maybe something like that, too??
Sorry he's having issues... But have to say I'm glad it's not just my kid hang in there!!

Hitting at preschool

I think he can understand punishment after the fact. DD turned 3 Jan 1 and when she doesn't listen in school we take things away and she gets it. she knows if she wants it back the next day she has to behave in school. I give her the punishment in the car and then I remind when we are home and wants what was taken away and then I remind her again in the morning I usually say your a going to be good today right? if not what happens and she will repeat the punishment she got and I say if you are good she repeats what she will get back