Followed peds advice re: potty regression and regret it

I've posted about DD's potty regression before, but here's the backstory: DD potty trained in the fall, a few months before her third bday. I felt she was ready (she was going at least once a day and waking me up at night). I just helped her go cold turkey via M&Ms, which we then phased out. She hardly ever had any accidents. She did great. Then in early Jan (when she turned 3), her baby sister was born and right on cue, she started leaking in her underwear and wetting at night. After constant nighttime wetting, I went back to pull-ups at night. No big deal. But the daytime leaks were happening multiple times a day. Then she stopped telling me she had to go. I would just take her but she'd still often wet. And she started wetting at school and when we're out, which she NEVER did. Finally, she gave herself a UTI from withholding so much.

Her pediatrician suggested that we go back to diapers. She said she is going through stress with the new baby and we're just going to make it a little easier for her. And that she'll one day just tell me that she is done with diapers. Well that was 3 weeks ago and DD is happy to be in diapers because she wants to be a baby (her words). She is still pooping in the toilet but not even telling me at all about pee. I try to just take her and she'll get mad and say she doesn't have to go. I'm trying to follow doctor's advice and just go with it and not even push the issue but it's hard, especially since she potty trained so easily in the fall and she is over three. DH thinks I shouldn't have listened and put her in diapers, but I was changing her underwear at least 4 times a day. I'd pick her up at school and her pants would be saturated (she wears a lot of dresses so her teachers didn't know). I don't know what's worse. There have been days she has said she wants to wear underwear but then she has full blown accidents (not just little leaks) and wants to go back to diapers.

Do I force her back into underwear cold turkey or do I listen to doc and let my DD figure this out for herself? We tried sticker charts but that only works for about a day. I'm not doing candy anymore. She'll go for the candy and then if she has an accident she'll say, "I don't want an M&M anyway." It's a total power struggle.

Message edited 4/29/2014 3:16:23 PM.

Re: Followed peds advice re: potty regression and regret it

I haven't even started potty training my DD yet, so my advice is going to be what my gut is telling me.
I wouldn't force her back in underwear. I think, like her doc said, she'll let you know when she's ready. I think another baby coming home is a pretty traumatic event and she might just need more time.

Re: Followed peds advice re: potty regression and regret it

My DS did this except he was a little older and and it only happened at night. It took him a good 3 months to be night trained and then he was fine. All of sudden he went back to wetting the bed. Once a week turned into 3-4 times a week and I am not talking just sheets, I had to clean EVERYTHING. I got fed up and he went back into pull ups. He didn't like it but he after a full pack he was finally dry and that was it.

I agree with your Ped. I think she may not have been ready and forcing her to do it now which only create a stressful environment for you and her, which isn't something you need right now. My little one PT when she was 27 months old, day and night in a week. She is 3 now when she see's a diaper she says its for baby's and she is big girl and wants nothing to do with it. Your DD just may not be ready.

Followed peds advice re: potty regression and regret it

I don't think I would have listened if it was me. I trained DD a little over 2 using the 3 day method and it work for daytime but she is still not trained at night (she turned 3 jan 1st). I had DS in November and lately she has been having accidents. I kind went with your not a baby anymore and if you want to be a baby you cant have lets say toys cause babies cant play with toys. DD biggest thing now is me feeding her I use the same thing if I have to feed you like a baby then you cant have dessert cause babies don't get dessert. if it was me I would do the 3 day potty method all over again ... I would start with giving her rewards every time she goes.

Re: Followed peds advice re: potty regression and regret it

I would probably start associating being a big girl with special things-private outings with Mom or Dad, manicures, a toy etc. You could say things like-wow I'm glad you're not a baby anymore so we can have this special day together! Make a BIG deal about being a big girl. Use that language when praising her. Once she starts to get excited about being a big girl work some comments in about big girls wear underwear. She wants to be a baby, because she WAS the baby! Show her the fun of being the big girl first, then work on the diapers. Good luck!

Re: Followed peds advice re: potty regression and regret it

Followed peds advice re: potty regression and regret it

I have a daughter right around the same age. I had a baby when my oldest was just shy of two. I had a tough time potty training her, I waited until a few months after my DD was born. I think she was 2.5 when I started training her. She had no interest, wanted diapers and was not budging. She would not go and she had a serious UTI at 9 months that basically scared me for life and I wasn't comfortable forcing the issue. I actually totally side tabled it and a few months later she trained pretty effortlessly. No pull ups at night, no accidents! Pretty stress free. I did what the previous poster recommended and talked up being a big girl like no tomorrow, told her that big girls get special treats like getting her nails done, going to the movies, and getting a fish (she had been asking for months).

I really agree with your ped for whatever reason she's not ready right now and 2.5 is early to train, I know people on this site totally disagree, but when I asked all of my IRL friends most said it was after 3. I'd be stressed that she already gave herself a UTI. I'd praise her every time she goes or even tries and bribe her with whatever you are comfortable with, but I would not push it. That all said, I obviously has a really bad experience with the 3 day method so I could be biased.

Re: Followed peds advice re: potty regression and regret it

Thanks for your replies. I do keep trying to talk up the big girl thing. And she usually identifies herself and seems to want to be a big girl, except for the diaper thing. I'll keep not pressuring. The doctor said she often sees this when the child was trained only a couple of months before the new baby arrives, which is exactly what we did. It just blows my mind because she seemed so ready then and was genuinely excited to be potty trained. But I know this isn't a "logical" thing for her. My mom told me she was 6 when her younger sister was born and started wetting her pants day and night. She was old enough to know better but still couldn't help it.