sad.. baby prefers my mother

I've posted about this before so I don't know exactly what im looking for, but i'm feeling really sad about it again and i don't know where else to go with this.

I'm getting really depressed that 4 month old DD seems to prefer my mother, who watches her 5 days a week while im at work. When I get home from work I get no reaction from her, but she follows my mother with her eyes, gives her huge smiles, and wiggles with excitement when she sees her.... even if my mother isn't looking at her. Every time she sees my mother, huge smiles.. effortlessly. i try so hard to get her to smile and nothing.

I'm her mommy and I love her so much. Why doesn't she like me?

It's breaking my heart

Message edited 6/20/2013 2:26:23 PM.

Re: sad.. baby prefers my mother

Dont worry she loves you and she knows you are her mama. It is hard to see sometimes. Also remember they go through phases.

sad.. baby prefers my mother

I agree with the PP.

You are her mother..of course she loves you! She is just reacting that way because she sees you mom more often. It's a phase. Pretty soon she will be giving you tons of hugs and kisses! Trust me!

Message edited 6/20/2013 2:26:48 PM.

Re: sad.. baby prefers my mother

She LOVES you, she KNOWS you are her Mommy!!

How is she on the weekends/days off? I remember waiting, waiting, waiting for DD to cry when I would drop her off but nope!! Only smiles and giggles. Eventually the crying started.
She's still young and all about the "routine" right now. Grandma is the fun entertainer all day and Mommy is the dinner/bath/nighttime snuggler. Giver her some more time, that reaction will come soon enough!!
If it makes you feel any better I am often easily replaced by Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and going outside to look for ants when I drop her off now.

sad.. baby prefers my mother

Ask your mom what little games or songs your DD likes or gets most reaction from her with..like peep a boo or itsy bitsy spider and then play that with her!

Message edited 6/20/2013 2:29:29 PM.

sad.. baby prefers my mother

my DS was like this until he was maybe 18 months. He's a daycare kid so when I would pick him up he'd cry and throw a fit cause he didn't want to leave. It was like a switch went off one day and he's like...mommy's here! It's definitely a phase. a year from now you'll be posting...she won't let you leave the house lol

Re: sad.. baby prefers my mother

She's only 4 months old. She's reacting to your mother because your mother is the one that feeds her most of the time. It's still basic animal instinct at that age - whoever gives me the food is the one who loves me and I love back.

Your DD DOES love you and believe me, once she's older you will see it and feel it.

Don't take it personally! It really is just a sign that your mom is taking excellent care of her!

sad.. baby prefers my mother

Awwwww! I'd be sad too. But, she's still so young...Give her a little more time and she's going to get ecstatic when she sees you!!

Re: sad.. baby prefers my mother

I wrote posts like this when my DS was that age and he was first in daycare. It upset me so so much, so I know how you feel. But I promise it won't always be this way! DS is 14 months now and he says "mama" all the time and usually only wants me. She knows you are her mama and this is just a phase. I know it's hard but try not to let it get you down too much and just be happy she loves her grandmother and she's in good hands when you're at work.

Re: sad.. baby prefers my mother

I know.
It's a phase, but a terrible one.
I was there: it goes away & then comes & goes
On the bright side, it's your mom.

Re: sad.. baby prefers my mother

The same thing happened to my SIL and her DS who is 2 1/2. He still prefers grandpa over his mom or dad but that's because the inlaws will take her son, not only on the week days since she works full time but on the weekends too. They think of him as their child, and they can't live a day without seeing him, and her son can't stand to not see gradpa everyday.
It's a tough situation, but it will get better.

Re: sad.. baby prefers my mother

I'm already fearing this and I'm due at the end of July! My mom will be watching baby girl when I return to work. I also travel a lot for work so I'm dreading being gone so much. But I appreciate that I have my mom close by and she will be in good hands. Now if this with the situation with MIL, I'd completely lose my ish and probably quit my job!!

Re: sad.. baby prefers my mother

Re: sad.. baby prefers my mother

i know it hurts when you feel like your DD loves someone else more than you.. just give her sometime.. she'll give you the biggest smiles ever..

sad.. baby prefers my mother

My sister told me awhile ago that when she went to pick up my niece at daycare she wasn't excited or even cared she was there. Then her "teacher" walked out of the room and my niece threw herself on the ground in front of the door and cried hysterically. Mind you this was years ago and a lot has changed. give it time although I k ow it makes you sad