Hospital visitors the day you give birth

This is our first child, my parents first Grandchild, our sisters first nephew, and my ILs first Grandson. Our immediate family alone is 8 people which I consider to be a lot of people. Being that labor is so unpredictable and we don't know how long or how grueling labor will be for me we decided to send out an email to our friends and family asking that only immediate family and Godparents are to come up to the hospital the first 24 hours after I deliver. We thought this would be fair and I could get a little rest before people start running in.

Now I understand that people are excited and it makes me happy to know that people can't wait to meet our little guy but the anxiety of a revolving door at my private LIJ room the first day would drive me up a wall. I don't need my best friends husband coming in my room and seeing me in a hospital gown all hanging out.

Well I just got an email from DH's aunt telling me that while she will follow our wishes she thinks that we forgot how exciting it is and we were up there the day she gave birth. Keep in mind it was a scheduled c-section and we saw her being wheeled into the elevator and only say our little cousin through the window of the nursery. If I'm in labor for 18 hours before I delivery naturally or have an emergency CS then I just feel like it's different.

My question is, what are you guys doing? Is it unreasonable to ask for our families and us have some alone time before the craziness takes place?

Also, this specific aunt has 3 boys that are what we call "devils children". They scream, curse, hit, etc and range from age 3-11. We don't want them at the hospital at all but with this email I'm scared to even tell his aunt.

Re: Hospital visitors the day you give birth

I was happy to have visitors after I popped.
30 mins after I did I was still feeling good from the epi. It was nice to be able to talk to my family and friends about the experience. I got such joy from their faces when they saw her for the first time in the room. Second day was even crazier but again I didn't mind who was there.

Re: Hospital visitors the day you give birth

My personal opinion is that if you don't want any visitors you don't have to have any. BUT, if I was told to go away after a friend/sister/aunt had a baby, I'd be a little miffed. I could understand if they had complications, but if you're feeling well, I'd be .

I personally had a total of 10 people rotate in and out of my room after both of my children and it was never overwhelming. I was excited to show off the baby. My family came to the delivery and waited in the waiting room. They were allowed in for about an hour after the baby was born to meet him/her. Then they left and came back during grandparent visiting hours. Then later on during regular visiting hours.

I guess it depends on what you really want, but just be prepared for people to be upset because they want to share in your happiness too. If I were you, I would not send an email out like that now, but would wait until after you have the baby to see how you feel. You may want some company because it is no fun sitting in a hospital room by yourself all day. People are generally pretty observant and will listen to your DH if after you have the baby and you want to rest. If all else fails, nurses will be the bad guys and tell people to leave if you want that.

Just my 2 cents.

Re: Hospital visitors the day you give birth

Honestly, I think if someone wants to come they should be able to come. I think its rude to deny them to come if they are excited. I get what you are saying. With my first I was in labor for 22 hrs before I pushed him out! It was gross and felt horrible but they dont let people in the room until you are ready! So if they have to wait an hour for your to cover up then thats ok. I wish sometimes I can say only close family but I would feel bad!

Re: Hospital visitors the day you give birth

Since I live in the city and my aunts/uncles/etc live on Long Island and DH's family lives in CT, and our siblings live even further, I can't imagine that anyone other than our parents will travel in to the hospital. I think some of my best friends will come by, I don't have a problem with that but I think I would be overwhelmed with a whole crowd.

Hospital visitors the day you give birth

I have a huge family, I am the youngest of 7 so I knew that the hospital could get crazy!! I was nervous about that but when I had DS I was so excited I really didn't mind who came. The good thing was pretty much everyone called first to see if it was ok to come and would have been fine if we said I wasnt up for visitors yet. On the day I delivered only family came. Aunts, friends, etc waited until the next day and also asked before coming.

Hospital visitors the day you give birth

Personally I would have never sent out an email. I would have let your parents and ILs know your wishes and jsut kind of spread the word a bit.

You also have no idea how you are going to feel, a schedule c section is no better or worse than an emergency c section. Each labor is different...20 hrs can be easier for one that 3 hrs for another.

I had 12 hrs of labor and then ended up with a c section and once I was back with it I felt great and really welcomed visitors. Beign in the hospital is not fun and the baby sleeps so much I kind got bored and wanted visitors.

I just think you are makign a decision too early.

Re: Hospital visitors the day you give birth

I didn't give anyone any guidelines for delivery day. I was at the hospital (for hours!) at the birth of both my niece and nephew and it was so exciting...I wouldn't want to deny someone that thrill!

But.... I went into labor in the middle of the night. I was admitted around 2am and we didn't call anyone until around 5am when my dad was getting up for work. He wanted to rush right over, but at that point we had no clue how long things would take. Anyway, my parents were both there for the birth at 9:20am. And my inlaws came pretty soon after. I had tons of visitors during my hospital stay--even the 1st day--and I loved it!

My 2nd and 3rd were both scheduled c-sections and my parents and sister were at both; inlaws stayed home to watch the other kids I thought it was a bummer that I had less visitors with each child. I guess the thrill wears off...enjoy it while it lasts!

Re: Hospital visitors the day you give birth

I know labor can be a pain in the ass and for others a horrible experience. However, I know family is going to be excited to see the baby and I don't think I can take that away from them. I would love to see people come visit the baby at the hospital. I will make sure I have make up to beautify myself

Hospital visitors the day you give birth

I'm not denying people can't come to the hospital, just give us the first day to recover and relax. Our parents will be there and so will our sisters and my cousin and his family (the Godfather). That's over 10 people right there so I won't be alone.

My friends and family are very excited and I remember what it was like for my SIL the first day, she was so drugged up and out of it from her c section that she couldn't even speak to us. The rooms are only so big and really at LIJ (where she delivered and I will be delivering) they aren't that strict with how many people are in the room or anything.

I know our friends and family and people won't call, they will just show up. I can't wait for everyone to meet our little guy and like I said I'm not denying them that, I'm just asking for a day, that's all. they can come to the hospital all they want the day after. LIJ isn't strict with visiting hours. BIL's cousins even showed up to SIL's room at like 10PM at night (without calling) so I just want to have some guidelines. I would hope that people are considerate with hospital visits but from the past few people I know who delivered (both friends and family) I have seen overwhelming amount of people (that are also my friends and family) in one hospital room and I just would rather DH and I and our families enjoy the first day together.

Hospital visitors the day you give birth

My two cents? Don't tell anyone when you go to the hospital. After you deliver, when you are ready, call them and tell them the baby was born. At that point, tell them that you are only up for a few visitors (parents and ILs probably).

Re: Hospital visitors the day you give birth

Message edited 5/14/2013 9:37:31 AM.

Re: Hospital visitors the day you give birth

I personally got lucky and only had my parents, siblings and IL's visit me while i was at the hospital. I was either breastfeeding or wanting to sleep while i had them visit. Yes, sometimes it gets boring, but i'd rather be bored and relaxing and not worrying about who is comming and going. (my oppinion is based on having two kids at home, so piece and quiet is rare)

Hospital visitors the day you give birth

I have no idea how I'm going to feel after labor and delivery, but I think I'd rather have people visit in the hospital then to visit me at home those first couple of days.

Hospital visitors the day you give birth

Hailey was born at 6:39am on a Saturday... so i knew i was gonna get a lot of visitors that day! I had an incredibly easy labor, but no one came until later in the afternoon because i had been up since Friday morning... so i needed to nap...

I got a lot of text messages so i told them it was ok to come... and a lot of people text my mom and Shaun... dont be afraid to tell them the next day would be better.

Re: Hospital visitors the day you give birth

I think u r entitled to do whatever u feel but I will say I know u want the first 24 hrs before everyone comes but I felt better the day I had the wins with a scheduled c section then the 24 hrs after

Prob the meds lol

Re: Hospital visitors the day you give birth

My water broke the night before I gave birth to DS. So i was up for most of the night, and pushed him out in the morning (for what seemed like hours but in reality was like 45 minutes). Not even a half hour after I gave birth to him, my parents and DH's parents/grandma were in the delivery room to visit! I was literally exhausted, falling asleep. Then followed by multiple visitors when they moved me to my room (since visiting hours officially started shortly after) It would have been nice to have some time beforehand just to ourselves!

Re: Hospital visitors the day you give birth

I hope someone comes to visit me. Hubs family is here but mine are all out if state. I'll be lucky if my parents make it in time.


Therefore I'm inviting all my friends to come visit lol. Someone bring me a slurpee okay? Cherry coke and the blue raspberry mixed please!

Re: Hospital visitors the day you give birth

While I still have some time to think about it, I do not want a million people waiting for me to give birth either.

I have been debating with DH on how to handle it for weeks. He wants to call everyone he knows immediately especially those who are OOT and have to drive and I would prefer to wait.

Message edited 5/14/2013 10:10:28 AM.

Re: Hospital visitors the day you give birth

Re: Hospital visitors the day you give birth

Re: Hospital visitors the day you give birth

Posted by neener1211

My personal opinion is that if you don't want any visitors you don't have to have any. BUT, if I was told to go away after a friend/sister/aunt had a baby, I'd be a little miffed. I could understand if they had complications, but if you're feeling well, I'd be .

I personally had a total of 10 people rotate in and out of my room after both of my children and it was never overwhelming. I was excited to show off the baby. My family came to the delivery and waited in the waiting room. They were allowed in for about an hour after the baby was born to meet him/her. Then they left and came back during grandparent visiting hours. Then later on during regular visiting hours.

I guess it depends on what you really want, but just be prepared for people to be upset because they want to share in your happiness too. If I were you, I would not send an email out like that now, but would wait until after you have the baby to see how you feel. You may want some company because it is no fun sitting in a hospital room by yourself all day. People are generally pretty observant and will listen to your DH if after you have the baby and you want to rest. If all else fails, nurses will be the bad guys and tell people to leave if you want that.

Just my 2 cents.

Re: Hospital visitors the day you give birth

For DD, I was in labor for 38 hours. I delivered her at 3:49pm (visiting hours were until 8pm) and when DH called people to tell them she was here, he said that I wasn't up for visitors until the following day (visiting hours started at noon). Once I got to my room...I was a hot mess and I was happy to just relax and finally sleep....I was not up for visitors. The next AM, I showered, changed into my own clothes and welcomed TONS of visitors...and it took a toll on me, I was exhausted from all the visitors! I know everyone gets excited, but its your call I am happy with what we decided and now that we are thinking of TTC #2, I will probably have the same wishes.

Re: Hospital visitors the day you give birth

Everyone was there with my first, and i said never again. My second experience was so much nicer and just calmer. I got a lot of crap from the inlaws but didnt care. They got to pick how things went when they pushed their kid out, now its my say :)

Re: Hospital visitors the day you give birth

Posted by GlowSuarez

I know labor can be a pain in the ass and for others a horrible experience. However, I know family is going to be excited to see the baby and I don't think I can take that away from them. I would love to see people come visit the baby at the hospital. I will make sure I have make up to beautify myself