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summerBaby10
let's be nice
Member since 9/07 10208 total posts
Name:
Wifey
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Re: Would you be disappointed or am I overreacting?
I would be fire spitting mad if this was my situation. Sounds like your mom was understanding but I would be pissed that maybe deep down he ruined her birthday. She is ill, for goodness sakes. How dare he!
You have enough stress from day to day life with twins, a sick parent & now add a husband that acts like a child to the mix. Unreal. He should be your support.
So sorry that you are dealing with so much  
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Posted 4/30/13 9:35 AM  |
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Wishing4ababy
My life is complete!
Member since 1/07 2494 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you be disappointed or am I overreacting?
Posted by Traysee
I am finding my DH to be a real disappointment these days as well. Twins put such a strain on a marriage to begin with. He was totally in the wrong and I hope you don't let him off the hook easily. I find my husband has been doing a lot of really selfish things after my girls were born and then after he does those things he does apologize but it's almost like he planned it that way. Do what he wants and then just apologize after the fact instead of NOT doing it at all. He would rather get his way even though he knows there will be a fight. Ever hear the expression "Forgiveness is easier to get that permission?" That is my DH's tactic these days. So from one twin mommy to another with a DH that is being really selfish, I hear ya sister. ((((HUGS))))
How old are your twins BTW?
I'm so sorry you are going through this with your DH too. It's just so hard sometimes to forgive him for behavior like this. It hurts that he would be selfish, espescially at this time in our lives. He apologized this morning, but I don't have it in my heart to forgive him yet, because I know it will happen again. His selfishness has gotten worse since the babies. Which makes it hard for me to continue to make excuses for his behavior.
My twins are 19 months old. How old are your girls?
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| Posted 4/30/13 9:44 AM |
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jennielee15
Let's try this again....
Member since 7/11 2269 total posts
Name:
Jennie
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Re: Would you be disappointed or am I overreacting?
MY mom is my go to when DH is being a "child" about things. I just say how much she means to me and how much I miss her and that whatever it is is for her...then a small tear and he's done with his temper tantrum! I also make sure he knows that I'm not mad, I'm upset and disappointed. Once I turn my emotions to anger he gains the upper hand, keep it at how hurt you are and how he truly disappointed you.
I'm sorry you feel this way and I'm sorry he was an immature A-hole in front of your family!
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| Posted 4/30/13 9:46 AM |
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Re: Would you be disappointed or am I overreacting?
Posted by 2BadSoSad
I would have long surpassed disappointed, I would be RAGING mad.
I agree. How DARE he behave like that. This is your MOTHER. I am so sorry 
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| Posted 4/30/13 9:47 AM |
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MrsA714
Baby #2 is here!
Member since 8/07 8806 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you be disappointed or am I overreacting?
Posted by evenedan
I would be beyond disappointed, I would be breathing fire!
Grow the eff up!
The way he handled the situation sounds incredibly immature and selfish. I'm not sure I'd be able to get past my DH acting this way. I'm angry for you!
I agree. I'm sorry but I think he acted like a total asshole. There is no reason for that behavior! Especially in this circumstance. I would have opened a can of whoop ass on him!
I would calmly (if you can manage that, I probably couldn't  ) let him know how childish his behavior was and also how hurtful and upsetting it was to you also. You have enough things going on right now and the last thing you need to deal with is an inconsiderate husband. I'm sorry you had to deal with that 
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| Posted 4/30/13 9:47 AM |
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OffWithHerHead23
Keep passing the open windows
Member since 10/06 3627 total posts
Name:
Meaghan
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Re: Would you be disappointed or am I overreacting?
Posted by wo0shply
My DH does this too. In the end I just said F it let him do whatever he wants and sit by himself I'm going to enjoy myself with my family and take my time.
I'm sorry you went through this. You're not over reacting at all. I think you under reacted. I would have made him sleep in the car for what he did.
Yes, this is what I do now too. If it's something I want to go to and he doesn't, I tell him to stay home, and I go and have a good time. He was like this when I married him... he's not a social person. I've come to terms with the fact. He knows it's NOT ok to go somewhere and act like a d!ck. He gets that now. If it's something I feel really strongly about him coming to, he will come and be pleasant, but it's not often I ask for that. It has to be REALLY important.
That doesn't make your DH's behavior ok, OP. You needed him and he failed you. That's not ok, but maybe he will come to understand that and you will get to a place where you can be respectful of each other's needs and expectations in social situations.
Also, the fact that you said that he makes you feel like you're crazy really resonated with me. My DH used to make me feel like that sometimes... I read this article a while back and it REALLY hit home. I refuse to make anyone make me feel that way now.
You're Not Crazy
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| Posted 4/30/13 9:48 AM |
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ThreeforTea
Girls just want to have fun..
Member since 5/12 7482 total posts
Name:
Mama
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Would you be disappointed or am I overreacting?
Sorry but your DH sounds like a big baby! This is insane. I am mad just reading this!!
I feel so bad for you and your mom. You should have enjoyed her on her birthday! So sorry!
In fact, if it were me, I would invite my mom over to my house for dinner. Kind of to make it up to her.
Message edited 4/30/2013 9:55:25 AM.
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| Posted 4/30/13 9:51 AM |
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Wishing4ababy
My life is complete!
Member since 1/07 2494 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you be disappointed or am I overreacting?
Posted by maybebaby
i'm sorry, but in this instance your DH sounds like a very immature brat. I think that REGARDLESS of your mom being very sick, he should go to a bday dinner for someone in your family (especially a parent) and not complain. It isn't right how he acted, very selfish of him to do what he did. I would be extremely hurt and angry.
How would HE feel if his own mother were this sick and YOU acted like that? I'm sorry you went through that...
I said that to him last night what if I did that to your parents. It would be a war. I told him the next time his parents come over I'm going to sit on my phone or read a book. He started laughing. He seriously thinks I'm joking, because he knows that isn't me. I have a ton of RESPECT for his parents. Unfortunately, this isn't the first time and probably not the last time he does this. I just don't how to change his behavior. If its not the newspaper, it's his iPhone, iPod or a book. It always something.
Thank you everyone !!!
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| Posted 4/30/13 9:53 AM |
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MrsA714
Baby #2 is here!
Member since 8/07 8806 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you be disappointed or am I overreacting?
I knew it!!! lol
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| Posted 4/30/13 9:59 AM |
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IAMMRSBROWN
3 under 2!!!
Member since 10/10 2476 total posts
Name:
Carey
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Re: Would you be disappointed or am I overreacting?
So hes saying that being an only child makes him act like a petulant little boy, secluding himself from his wife and children. He should be so embarrassed for behaving that way.
Im sorry youre going through all of this. Its stressful enough that your mom is so ill. Try to not to let this consume you - tell him how you feel and how upset you are but dont waste your energy being too angry, you clearly have enough on your plate. Next time whether he wanted to come or not, Id leave him at home. He needs to know this isnt okay. Who wants to be around that anyway
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| Posted 4/30/13 10:04 AM |
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SusiBee
. . . . .
Member since 3/09 8268 total posts
Name:
S
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Re: Would you be disappointed or am I overreacting?
DH owes your mother a huge apology for acting like such an a$$ on her birthday.
Then he owes you a huge apology for acting like such a spoiled a$$. He should have just stayed home instead of being such a brat.
When your mom is really sick like this, you treasure EVERY moment, good and bad. Trust me, I lost my mom 8 years ago after a long battle with cancer and wish EVERY day that she was still with me.
There are many times in life when you just have to suck things up and act like a decent human being, even if you want to scream at the walls.
Big hugs for you !
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| Posted 4/30/13 10:14 AM |
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saraH
happy birthday sweet kate!
Member since 5/05 16555 total posts
Name:
I know that God exsists, I held her in my arms...
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Re: Would you be disappointed or am I overreacting?
"alone time!?!?"
Please, kids do that. Tell I'm to get over himself.
That would bug me to no end,,it does bug me when my dh sits on his phone whne we are out.
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| Posted 4/30/13 10:29 AM |
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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
Name:
Marisa
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Re: Would you be disappointed or am I overreacting?
My MIL is perfectly healthy, and I loathe her - and I wouldn't behave that way with my husband's family
Your husband's behavior was inexusable for family dinner under normal circumstances .......the fact that it was your very sick Mom's birthday it's disgusting.
But he needs to HEAR IT from you - you need to SAY it. Not just to act mad and tell him not to speak to you - You need to express in no uncertain terms that his behavoir was embarassing, and hurtful and inexcusable
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| Posted 4/30/13 10:36 AM |
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kahlua716
3 Girls for Me!
Member since 8/07 12475 total posts
Name:
Keri
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Re: Would you be disappointed or am I overreacting?
Posted by Wishing4ababy
Thank you everyone. He is making me truly believe I'm crazy, that it's normal to act like this. He also blames it on that he is a only child and needs alone time when he cones home from work. Something needs to change, because I really don't know how much longer I could take this behavior and tonight just pissed me off. . It's seriously like I have a third child. 
My DH does this to me as well. When I get pissed about something- he manages to spin it around on me and I feel like the wrong one (and I'm RARELY wrong )
I would be extremely upset if DH did that.
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| Posted 4/30/13 10:54 AM |
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Wishing4ababy
My life is complete!
Member since 1/07 2494 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you be disappointed or am I overreacting?
Posted by OffWithHerHead23
Posted by wo0shply
My DH does this too. In the end I just said F it let him do whatever he wants and sit by himself I'm going to enjoy myself with my family and take my time.
I'm sorry you went through this. You're not over reacting at all. I think you under reacted. I would have made him sleep in the car for what he did.
Yes, this is what I do now too. If it's something I want to go to and he doesn't, I tell him to stay home, and I go and have a good time. He was like this when I married him... he's not a social person. I've come to terms with the fact. He knows it's NOT ok to go somewhere and act like a d!ck. He gets that now. If it's something I feel really strongly about him coming to, he will come and be pleasant, but it's not often I ask for that. It has to be REALLY important.
That doesn't make your DH's behavior ok, OP. You needed him and he failed you. That's not ok, but maybe he will come to understand that and you will get to a place where you can be respectful of each other's needs and expectations in social situations.
Also, the fact that you said that he makes you feel like you're crazy really resonated with me. My DH used to make me feel like that sometimes... I read this article a while back and it REALLY hit home. I refuse to make anyone make me feel that way now.
You're Not Crazy
Thank you so much for posting that article. It really does hit home. He came for lunch today and apologized and apologized to my mom when he came home from work. He has never really ever apologized before to me about his behavior. I think that he finally feels bad and realized how hurt I was. He even told me to go out to dinner with my mom and sisters Friday night to make it up to my mom. I hope he is sincere and tries to change during other family functions. We will see. Thank you all again for all your support.
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| Posted 4/30/13 5:42 PM |
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Sash
Peace
Member since 6/08 10314 total posts
Name:
fka LIW Smara
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Would you be disappointed or am I overreacting?
I am so sorry your mom is sick. Lots of hugs and prayers.
I would be fuming if my mom wasnt sick, I think it just make it extra worse knowing she is sick. Lifes moments are precious and he ruined it.
I dont think you are overreacting.
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| Posted 4/30/13 6:48 PM |
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Sash
Peace
Member since 6/08 10314 total posts
Name:
fka LIW Smara
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Re: Would you be disappointed or am I overreacting?
Posted by Wishing4ababy
Posted by OffWithHerHead23
Posted by wo0shply
My DH does this too. In the end I just said F it let him do whatever he wants and sit by himself I'm going to enjoy myself with my family and take my time.
I'm sorry you went through this. You're not over reacting at all. I think you under reacted. I would have made him sleep in the car for what he did.
Yes, this is what I do now too. If it's something I want to go to and he doesn't, I tell him to stay home, and I go and have a good time. He was like this when I married him... he's not a social person. I've come to terms with the fact. He knows it's NOT ok to go somewhere and act like a d!ck. He gets that now. If it's something I feel really strongly about him coming to, he will come and be pleasant, but it's not often I ask for that. It has to be REALLY important.
That doesn't make your DH's behavior ok, OP. You needed him and he failed you. That's not ok, but maybe he will come to understand that and you will get to a place where you can be respectful of each other's needs and expectations in social situations.
Also, the fact that you said that he makes you feel like you're crazy really resonated with me. My DH used to make me feel like that sometimes... I read this article a while back and it REALLY hit home. I refuse to make anyone make me feel that way now.
You're Not Crazy
Thank you so much for posting that article. It really does hit home. He came for lunch today and apologized and apologized to my mom when he came home from work. He has never really ever apologized before to me about his behavior. I think that he finally feels bad and realized how hurt I was. He even told me to go out to dinner with my mom and sisters Friday night to make it up to my mom. I hope he is sincere and tries to change during other family functions. We will see. Thank you all again for all your support.
Glad to hear about the update and enjoy friday!!
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| Posted 4/30/13 6:49 PM |
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LiveItUp
Love my babies!
Member since 8/11 4096 total posts
Name:
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Would you be disappointed or am I overreacting?
Completely unacceptable behavior for your moms birthday, and even worse and more selfish considering she's so sick. Imsorry you had to deal with that. I would be pissed and sad.
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| Posted 4/30/13 7:19 PM |
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KwaaksNest
Love my boys!
Member since 6/10 2825 total posts
Name:
Samantha
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Re: Would you be disappointed or am I overreacting?
Disappointed no...i would be livid.
That is so beyond rude on a regualr basis but knowing that your mother is sick, and sadly you never know with cancer is ever ruder.
He should of sucked it up and dealt with it
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| Posted 4/30/13 7:30 PM |
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Mrs213
????????
Member since 2/09 18986 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you be disappointed or am I overreacting?
Posted by 2BadSoSad
I would have long surpassed disappointed, I would be RAGING mad.
ITA, I'd be inclined to let it go but the fact that your moms health is failing he has some nerve
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| Posted 4/30/13 9:15 PM |
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Kmarie36
LIF Adult
Member since 9/10 1449 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you be disappointed or am I overreacting?
He was 100% wrong. I would be extremely hurt, and disappointed also. His actions were extremely childish and selfish. He should apologize to not only you, but to your mom also.
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| Posted 4/30/13 9:46 PM |
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oneday
<3
Member since 5/05 4319 total posts
Name:
Pam
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Re: Would you be disappointed or am I overreacting?
Posted by Kmarie36
He was 100% wrong. I would be extremely hurt, and disappointed also. His actions were extremely childish and selfish. He should apologize to not only you, but to your mom also.
I totally agree!! I am sorry your mom is sick and I hope your DH realizes what a jerk he is being.
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| Posted 4/30/13 9:50 PM |
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