Would you be disappointed or am I overreacting?

Today is my mom's 70th birthday. Some of you may know already from my previous posts my mom is very sick with stage 4 lung cancer.

We were invited to my sister's house for dinner and cake. My DH knew all weekend we would be spending tonight with her. He didn't want to go, because it was at my sister's house, which has marble stairs where our twins climb up and down all night long, but I told him to suck it up and to go.

We get to her house and we are all trying to sit down to eat and I told my DH, that I would eat and then he could eat, because the kids didn't want to sit with us. Well he got pissed off and huffing something under his breath. I shoveled the food down my throat, because I wanted him to be happy and eat. After we ate he sat on the steps and ignored everybody and read the newspaper the whole time we were there, not talking to anyone or even playing with our twins,

I was embaressed by his behavior and I wanted my mom to be the happiest on her birthday, but you can see on her face s he was upset that he wasn't happy and acted like he didn't want to be there. She kept telling me to go home, so I couldn't even enjoy myself with her.

When we got into the car, he acted normal and like nothing was wrong, so it pissed me off he put on this act, so we had to rush out of there after cake. I told him not talk to me and leave me alone. I'm just so upset. This isn't the first time this has happened. I just didn't think he would pull this crap on her birthday. I don't even know how to forgive him. I'm just do hurt. I would never do that to him or his family. Sorry, this is so long, I just needed to get it out.

Re: Would you be disappointed or am I overreacting?

I would be beyond disappointed, I would be breathing fire!

Grow the eff up!

The way he handled the situation sounds incredibly immature and selfish. I'm not sure I'd be able to get past my DH acting this way. I'm angry for you!

Message edited 4/29/2013 10:16:40 PM.

Would you be disappointed or am I overreacting?

I would be pissed and I would make sure hes aware of it. I would also make sure there are consequences to behavior like that. Especially knowing your mom is sick in my honest opinion is very selfish and insensitive of him.

Im so sorry your mom is sick and im so sorry your husband hurt you. Make sure you tell him how upset you are. *big hugs*

Re: Would you be disappointed or am I overreacting?

I would have long surpassed disappointed, I would be RAGING mad.

Re: Would you be disappointed or am I overreacting?

First, I am very sorry your Mom is sick. I can't imagine how hard that must be.

As far as your DH, he is LUCKY he isn't married to me. I probably would have made a scene when he was reading the paper, drove him home and left the kids with him, turned around and gone back. You need to tell him how you feel and give him some consequences so that doesn't happen again. he should be ashamed of himself with the way he acted. It has nothing to do with your Mom being sick, that behavior is so immature and uncalled for. I am sorry

Would you be disappointed or am I overreacting?

Not acceptable. There would have been a BIG BLOW UP FIGHT with my DH had he done something like that.

Re: Would you be disappointed or am I overreacting?

Would you be disappointed or am I overreacting?

He acted liked a total d!ck and owes you an apology.

Message edited 4/29/2013 10:19:12 PM.

Re: Would you be disappointed or am I overreacting?

Thank you everyone. He is making me truly believe I'm crazy, that it's normal to act like this. He also blames it on that he is a only child and needs alone time when he cones home from work. Something needs to change, because I really don't know how much longer I could take this behavior and tonight just pissed me off. . It's seriously like I have a third child.

Re: Would you be disappointed or am I overreacting?

Not cool..if he didn't want to go, and was going to pout with a newspaper, he should have just stayed home. Sorry that you are going through your mother's illness. I lost my mother years ago, and can honestly say..these moments (her birthday) need to be cherished. He should apologize to you. Again, I am so sorry

Re: Would you be disappointed or am I overreacting?

ok... so its at the sisters house with marble stairs... Pack ALOT of toys up to bring, so they don't feel the need to play going up and down the stairs...

Dinner time... We use to have a booster seat that was under 30 bucks and would strap to a chair, you strap them in, and give them some baby puffs. Otherwise its pretty normal for people to trade off eating.

OR if they were really acting up, then dh could take them for a drive while you eat with your family.....

When my sister/BIL would take the kids to the restaurant with our family(all kinds of holidays like my moms bday and stuff) they'd order the food for the kids to come fast, once the kids would be done eating BIL would take them to the car.... They are little kids, its not like they are 10 year olds who are misbehaiving. People expect little kids to be difficult.

OR - host it yourself... Order takeout, yourkids will be more comfortable not having to leave their home.

Re: Would you be disappointed or am I overreacting?

Re: Would you be disappointed or am I overreacting?

Re: Would you be disappointed or am I overreacting?

I'd be beyond disappointed...your DH needs to grow the EFF up. He threw a tantrum to get out of there by ignoring everyone and when he got his way he wanted to ignore the fact that he was be inconsiderate and rude to your family. The only child bull story is a lame excuse....he's not a child any more he is a grown ass man with a family so tell him to cut the crap and apologize.

Re: Would you be disappointed or am I overreacting?

i would be really sad too but I would also give him a chance to apologize by expressing how upset you are still today .., we all are not the best we can be everyday even on days when we REALLY should be

Would you be disappointed or am I overreacting?

Disappointed is an understatement, I would be absolutely livid!

Re: Would you be disappointed or am I overreacting?

Posted by Wishing4ababy

Thank you everyone. He is making me truly believe I'm crazy, that it's normal to act like this. He also blames it on that he is a only child and needs alone time when he cones home from work. Something needs to change, because I really don't know how much longer I could take this behavior and tonight just pissed me off. . It's seriously like I have a third child.

Message edited 4/30/2013 8:39:22 AM.

Re: Would you be disappointed or am I overreacting?

Yeah I'd be upset too. Usually I make DH eat first because i guess acting like that is a man thing. But you wanted to eat with your mom and he should realize that. He was very immature.

Would you be disappointed or am I overreacting?

I am finding my DH to be a real disappointment these days as well. Twins put such a strain on a marriage to begin with. He was totally in the wrong and I hope you don't let him off the hook easily. I find my husband has been doing a lot of really selfish things after my girls were born and then after he does those things he does apologize but it's almost like he planned it that way. Do what he wants and then just apologize after the fact instead of NOT doing it at all. He would rather get his way even though he knows there will be a fight. Ever hear the expression "Forgiveness is easier to get that permission?" That is my DH's tactic these days. So from one twin mommy to another with a DH that is being really selfish, I hear ya sister. ((((HUGS))))

How old are your twins BTW?

Re: Would you be disappointed or am I overreacting?

i'm sorry, but in this instance your DH sounds like a very immature brat. I think that REGARDLESS of your mom being very sick, he should go to a bday dinner for someone in your family (especially a parent) and not complain. It isn't right how he acted, very selfish of him to do what he did. I would be extremely hurt and angry.

How would HE feel if his own mother were this sick and YOU acted like that? I'm sorry you went through that...

Re: Would you be disappointed or am I overreacting?

Would you be disappointed or am I overreacting?

Totally not overreacting. Your DH threw a tantrum and that's NOT ok. I used to be like this with certain situations (embarrassing as that is to admit) and I had to change because it just wasn't right.

Re: Would you be disappointed or am I overreacting?

I would be very angry. That behavior was childish and immature and insensitive. He'd get an earful from me and I'd make him apologize to my mom for his poor behavior.

Would you be disappointed or am I overreacting?

My DH has been known to act like this, so I can commiserate with you, OP. He doesn't like having to "Be around people," as he puts it, and can act like a BRAT. When my grandfather died, he was angry that I was at the wake every night with the kids. He came one night and acted like an a$$hole. It was embarrassing and incredibly hurtful. It caused huge problems and led to us not speaking for days. He ultimately realized how incredibly out of line he was and has not been like that since. That was over 2 years ago. It took something as huge as that for him to realize that it was HIS behavior that was wrong, not anyone else's. He still doesn't like to go to parties and things like that. But he now realizes that there are certian things that he is obligated to attend. If he really doesn't want to do it, he will speak to me ahead of time like an adult instead of going and sulking. Feel free to FM me if you want to talk... I think we might be married to the same man

Would you be disappointed or am I overreacting?

My DH does this too. In the end I just said F it let him do whatever he wants and sit by himself I'm going to enjoy myself with my family and take my time.

I'm sorry you went through this. You're not over reacting at all. I think you under reacted. I would have made him sleep in the car for what he did.