I feel really bad....DH and MIL are mad at me. (long) UPDATED.

Yesterday we had DH's best family friend's wedding. Like this is his mother's very best friend's daughter - we do all our holidays with them and are very close. I am 8 weeks so they don't know yet but my ILs do. The wedding started at 4:30 but we were there at 4 for pictures. MIL wanted me to get my hair and makeup done so my day started at 11:30.

Around 6:30 I started getting a terrible headache. Silly me forgot to bring tylenol and all anyone had was aleve so I couldn't take anything. I tried to eat and was drinking water. As the night went on I started getting extremely nauseous, more so than I have been yet. I was shivering, my head was pounding and I kept having to go outside in case I threw up. At 9 I told DH I needed to leave. He went to talk to his mom and she said no, wait a bit more. For half an hour he kept telling me a few more minutes. At 9:30 I was like I HAVE to go, I NEED to be up at 6 for work and I can barely move I feel so sick.

He went again to his mom who said 'in a few minutes'. I flipped out at DH and told him when they all had migraines and were going to throw up and had to be up at 6 (they all work together and decided to open late today so they could all sleep in - DH, his siblings and his parents) then they could tell me what to do. And I walked out and went to the bathroom. Like 10 minutes later DH came to get me and we left. The wedding was about 45 minutes from our apartment.

I don't know why I felt so sick - if it was just too long a day or what, but I feel badly that I reacted so strongly. I don't think I was wrong per se but I still feel badly. I'm not sure what to do today.

We left after dinner was cleared so it wasn't even all that early, and I told DH if his mom was that upset she could explain to her best friend today that I'm pregnant....I don't know what else to do?

Was I wrong?

UPDATE:

DH and I spoke at length. He was very, very apologetic and said he totally misread the situation and thought that I would want to try to stay as long as I could (i.e. I would regret later that we left early). He 100% takes the blame and says me and the baby come first always, and he was just trying to do the right thing. He also said this family is basically the only 'family' he has (his immediate family is estranged from the extended family) so he also had that in mind. I understood where he was coming from but explained to him that if I'm SAYING I need to go, I need to go. He got it. He also says his mom had nothing to do with it and he was just asking her advice for what to tell people when we left....I'm not 100% convinced of that but I let it go for now - he KNOWS how I feel about his mother being involved in our decisions. Trust me, he knows.

He was very sweet and apologetic and was genuinely upset all day yesterday because of how he handled the situation.

Thank you all so much for the support and comments, I took each one to heart!

Message edited 3/12/2013 9:39:00 AM.

I feel really bad....DH and MIL are mad at me. (long)

Who cares if you are pregnant or not...you didn't feel weel, you should be allowed to leave.

Btw, congrats of the bfp...happy and healthy

Re: I feel really bad....DH and MIL are mad at me. (long)

Nope... you are NOT wrong.

Your husband owes you an apology. YOU and his unborn child should be his first priority and when you are sick, he should support you and take care of you. If he wanted to tell his mom you guys were leaving, he should have said "no, my wife is sick and we are leaving" when she said to stay for a little while longer.

You owe your MIL nothing.

Re: I feel really bad....DH and MIL are mad at me. (long)

oh please!!

you were not wrong at all and you did nothing wrong!!! honestly you were feeling sick and even if you weren't pregnant someone that is feeling sick should not stay any longer at a party honestly. I undestand that you feel like you overreacted but you did perfectly fine. Just because you got sick doesn't mean you have to start telling people your business. If you are not ready to come out they should respect that decision and wait until you are ready to announce because it's you and DH's good news to share. I hope it wasn't so bad waking up this morning. I know i struggled

Re: I feel really bad....DH and MIL are mad at me. (long)

I had to go out not once but twice in a week to celebrate my sils 30th bday. They were at two of my favorite restaurants. It was the first week MS had kicked in. I was a miserable ____ !!!!!!!!! We had to cut both nights short.

YOU WERE NOT WRONG AT ALL!!!!
MS IS NOT FUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Re: I feel really bad....DH and MIL are mad at me. (long)

Sorry but your MIL was absolutely 100% rude and inconsiderate. I would be livid.

Re: I feel really bad....DH and MIL are mad at me. (long)

Re: I feel really bad....DH and MIL are mad at me. (long)

Your DH was 100% wrong. His mom should not dictate when you get to leave. You were not feeling well. He needs to grow up and not run to mommy for everything. You are his wife. Congrats on the pregnancy, but that does not matter at all. You were not feeling well and wanted to leave. He needs to understand that and should have said let's go. His mom is being obnoxious and frankly I would be annoyed with her too, but I would frankly be super annoyed with my DH for not understanding my needs at that moment. I get that it is a great friend, but your pregnancy needs trump her desire for you to stay. Sorry.

I feel really bad....DH and MIL are mad at me. (long)

You were not wrong. I would be furious at DH for goign to his mom everytime he wanted to leave. He is an adult and doesn't need permission.

I feel really bad....DH and MIL are mad at me. (long)

She can't expect you to stay somewhere when she knows your preggers and how you are feeling super nausious.. She is 100 percent wrong! I am sure the family would understand if you had to leave cause you weren't feeling good!

Re: I feel really bad....DH and MIL are mad at me. (long)

First-your DH needs to grow a set of balls with his Mom. Just knowing you were pregnant and not feeling good, he never should have taken the message back to you to just wait a few minutes. He should have said, no she is really feeling badly. We are just going to go. Sorry and hope you are feeling better

Re: I feel really bad....DH and MIL are mad at me. (long)

I feel really bad....DH and MIL are mad at me. (long)

I tend to be a people pleaser so I understand why you are feeling bad about the situation, but it wasn't something you did wrong. No one looking after you and your well-being was wrong and I hope you get a few apologies today. Honestly, for DH I would make sure he understands that needs come before wants starting now. As for everyone else, I would just move on. Don't talk about the fact that you left. If someone brings it up you can respond with a simple, "yeah what bad timing to get sick," laugh and keep it moving with a question about what kind of cake they had.

Re: I feel really bad....DH and MIL are mad at me. (long)

Re: I feel really bad....DH and MIL are mad at me. (long)

Re: I feel really bad....DH and MIL are mad at me. (long)

I agree with everyone that you were not wrong.

But another part has me wondering.... You said MIL wanted you to get your hair and makeup done. Did you plan to before she said anything? Because if not then I would hope she paid for it. Sounds like your MIL is controlling and everyone has to do what she wants.

Re: I feel really bad....DH and MIL are mad at me. (long)

Re: I feel really bad....DH and MIL are mad at me. (long)

Re: I feel really bad....DH and MIL are mad at me. (long)

Re: I feel really bad....DH and MIL are mad at me. (long)

Re: I feel really bad....DH and MIL are mad at me. (long)

I *personally* would NOT feel bad at all. Are you kidding me???...................who is your MIL to tell you when you can and cannot leave??!! It's none of her business. If you're not feeling well, pregnant or not, you're an adult and can make the decision as to what you need to do. If she doesn't like, tough.

As for your DH, he too was wrong and owes you an apology. Making you wait around to make his mom happy was totally wrong IMO.

I would've been very upset too if I was you. Hope you're feeling better.

Re: I feel really bad....DH and MIL are mad at me. (long)

Message edited 3/11/2013 11:36:14 AM.

I feel really bad....DH and MIL are mad at me. (long)

I agree with everyone above and you are NOT wrong! I think you handled it better then I would have. MIL had no right since you weren't bringing her home. And I really don't think you threw a fit. Throwing a fit to me would mean that you screamed at DH in the middle of the wedding, then screamed at MIL, then took the keys and went home anyway. Honestly, probably close to what I would have done if DH came up to me "my mom said to stay a couple more minutes". I probably would have screamed at MIL and then left DH at the wedding.

You said your peace to DH and he knows you are upset and actually agrees with you. The only other thing I can think of to maybe give you peace of mind is that DH NEEDS to talk to his mother. He NEEDS to tell her that when he says "we need to leave" it isn't up for discussion. While you are pregnant and after the baby is born he needs to stick up for his family. He needs to have a talk with his mother and if he won't do it, then maybe you can talk to her. I've had to do this a couple times with MIL because DH either never did what I asked him to that would make the situation better or she just didn't listen to him anyway.

Re: I feel really bad....DH and MIL are mad at me. (long)

I am sorry but you did nothing wront. Esp that DH and MIL know your situation! Don't feel bad

Re: I feel really bad....DH and MIL are mad at me. (long)

ugh I'm sorry that you didnt feel well and even more sorry that it turned into an issue... I dont think your MIL has any right to be angry