To the FTWM that work in the city...

My hat is off to you. I have no idea how you take a train to work every day, walk around the city, work, then get home so late at night then tend to your children.

I went to the city yesterday for fun and all day all I kept thinking about was any mom that did that every day, I have no idea how you do it. (Nor can I figure out how I used to go to the city in heels and go to a club/bar, then go back to work at 8 am-getting older sucks).

I need a day off to recuperate from my trip to the city.

So, to those moms that work in the city, or travel far to go to work every day, bless you. And when is nap time?

Re: To the FTWM that work in the city...

It really sucks and, IMO, doesn't ever seem to get "easier." I go in super early so I get home by 5, but I am a zombie from getting up at 430am everyday. It's not fun and I hope I don't have to do it "forever."

Re: To the FTWM that work in the city...

I work in the city but live in downtown Brooklyn so my commute is only 4 subway stops. I still get to have breakfast and dinner with my girls which means so much to me.

MY HAT goes off to you LI mommies who take the LIRR & subway every day. I have wanted to move to LI and have the house/yard/driveway for a long time, but oiy that commute...I commend you all!

I lived in Lindenhurst for a few years and did that commute every day....yowzas.

Re: To the FTWM that work in the city...

When I worked in Manhattan, we lived in Manhattan. I lived 2 subway stops from work. DH used to walk 2 blocks to work.

I can't fathom the long commute, especially if you live in Suffolk. Manhattan workers often work longer hours as well.

Re: To the FTWM that work in the city...

Let me tell you- I only do it about 2 times per month and every time I do it , I say, I could NEVER do this every day.
It is just exhausting!!!

Re: To the FTWM that work in the city...

I HATE it!!! I am so over it!!

It takes over an hour to get in and out of the city - thats on a GOOD day and I live in Queens!

No one in my office understands why I skip out on after work events - like happy hour or get togethers. I just want to get on my bus and get home to my DS.

Nor do my friends who don't work and want to go into the city for dinner on the weekends! No thanks, I'm here 5 days a week, the last place I want to trek back to is the city on a Saturday night!

Re: To the FTWM that work in the city...

Re: To the FTWM that work in the city...

I lived in Huntington and worked at the WFC.

It wears on you. I got VERY good at sleeping on the train! We dropped AJ off together and she was there when I got off the train. I could EASILY drive home but it was nice to have those few minutes alone with her in the backseat while hubby drove us home.

Every single minute counts.

This is probably why she's a night owl. She never went to bed before 8pm so I got a chance to be with her. If she feel asleep around 8, we'd wake her up at 9pm so she'd go back down at 10pm and stay asleep until 5am the next morning.

We all woke up at 5am so we had more family time then off to the train with mama (if I needed an early train that day) or off to daycare, then he'd drop me off at the train and off to work I went.

Long days, but they do go by faster when you have something to come home to. I slept to and from Huntingon and always caught an express even if I had to go to Cold Spring Harbor. I NEEDED that time to rest.

I won't lie. Its good not to have to do that anymore. Still even though we live 10mins from work, we still work long hours and we drop her off at 8am, pick her up at around 5:30 or 6pm. With my second job now I see her only in the early mornings and sneak into her room late at night (due to xmas hours at the store).

I always figured she won't remember that first year and now that she's 4 and KNOWS mama is going to work, I make every moment with her seriously count.

I took Monday off of my day job to spend with her doing a craft (for her letter), baking cookies, watching Disney and having fun before I had to go to work again.

To the FTWM that work in the city...

I guess I am in the minority and don't mind.

I get on a 657 train every morning and walk from Penn to Grand Central where I work. I get in by 820.

2 days a week I take a 424 home to pick up DS the other days I take a 529. Not matter what I am home by 630. Cook eat and play with DS and then get him to bed. I make a great living so I could never give it up. My job allows us to be able to go on vacations and not worry about day to day expenses.

I would not do it if I was livign paycheck to paycheck.

Re: To the FTWM that work in the city...

I agree! I travelled every day from massapequa to midtown. I was so exhausted, and I lived at home and had no kids! I used to get home at 6:30, but my kids sleep at 8. Not a long time to see them.

The best commute for me was taking the express bus from queens into the city. If/ when I have to work in the city, we would be moving back west. It's so tough

Message edited 12/12/2012 11:18:15 AM.

To the FTWM that work in the city...

AGREED! I commute 10 minutes to work by car and I feel for the mamas that have to go into the city. My 10 minute drive to get to DS feels like a lifetime I can only imagine that on a bus! My DH commutes to Jersey City and hates it.

Re: To the FTWM that work in the city...

I live in Westchester and I dont mind it so much. I work in times square and walk from Grand Central. I hate it this time of year because all the tourists slow me down but i have a routine and its nice to have 30 minutes to myself to read on the train during my commute. I think its easier than if i worked somewhere where I had to drive there.

It does make for long days but its what our family is used to. I get to spend time with DD before work and after work and I know she has a great time with the people who watch her during the day.

I do say that I dont stay later than I need to because i do want to go home so after work drinks are a thing of the past

Re: To the FTWM that work in the city...

I used to do it 5 x a week. I stopped doing that when I had DD and starting working from home. This summer I started going in 2x a week. It's definitely more bearable. But now I'm taking on a 3rd day starting next week. I can never see myself doing it 5 x a week again. I live an hour away--it's such a time suck!

To the FTWM that work in the city...

it's so hard. I leave my house at 6:30 am and don't get home until 6 pm. Then it's dinner, cleaning up the kitchen, bath, putting kids to sleep...I am pooped by the end of the day!

Message edited 12/12/2012 11:46:27 AM.

Re: To the FTWM that work in the city...

You are very sweet. I get a lot of "you are so lucky you work".
What I am is lucky I am home by 6 because most moms get home later.

I stopped wearing heels after having DS. My feet can't take walking (running) the city streets anymore. I wear flats and change when I get to the office.

You get numb to it, I think. Although people feel like being at work is a break from the kids, you actually have no decompression time. That gets wearing.

I also say hats off to the SAHM because I think I would find it tough to get out of my pajamas. It takes more discipline to SAHM, rather than the forced discipline I have.

Thank you !!

Re: To the FTWM that work in the city...

It is tough and some days I want to scream. Train to subway to work is a little rough. I feel like when I get to work, 1/2 my day is over. It is such an accomplishment. I agree about wearing the heels - it makes the commute worse. I really hate wearing heels during my commute, but my pants are all long to wear with heels and when i wear flats the bottoms get so gross. But I agree - the commute is rough. My dh wants to know why I am so tired after I put the kids to bed. Sometimes I want to smack him.

Re: To the FTWM that work in the city...

As of today it doesn't really bother me. I'm up at 530am to pump and have breakfast. Get washed up and put my face on. I get the lo up and nurse her. We hang out and I finish getting us both ready. I'm out the door no later than 710am and at my office by 820am. I guess what helps is that DD daycare is at my DH office. I catch a 437pm train and I'm home a before 6pm. They get home between 630pm and 7pm

To the FTWM that work in the city...

You do what you have to do. There are no jobs in my industry outside of the city. I need to work, so I just don't even think about it. I enjoy my time on the train - I love to read. And I have friends for half of the commute each way, so we talk, and it isn't so bad.

Re: To the FTWM that work in the city...

I think it stinks to leave your kid and work... No matter where.

I get up at 5:30, am out by 6am, at work 645, back at home by 5 (usually). We eat together, play together... And so on.

You get used to the grind.

The commute is the only "me" time I get... So it's not so bad.

The tough part is when there is extra travel when the kids are at my moms. Two to three days a week, I spend 3 hours commuting back and forth.

I do have a great career that I've worked long and hard for... And a great position.

Re: To the FTWM that work in the city...

It really doesn't bother me - but I also don't know any different b/c I've never worked on LI AND I love the city. - I feed off of the energy here. I also work for a very conservative company - I have to be dressed business formal for work -
I like that.

I gladly jump at any chance to stay here for dinner on a Friday night w/ friends or come in over the weekend w/ DH, or the kids -

The only thing I don't like is that stress of knowing DH and I are BOTH here all day, god forbid something happens (to us in the city, or at home to the boys @ daycare) we are at minimum 2 hours away from each other ....and the fact that I have to drag the boys out of the house at 6:45 am.

Otherwise, that commute is my only time of day to myself (sad, I know) but I get to read, or sleep or catch up w/ friends/family (via text)