Re: grandparents involvement

That's the double edged sword, we had(had) grandparents over involved and being way to pushy and judgemental about things we do. So when we tried to talk to them to tone it down a little bit and stop the comments, they got all bent out of shape and more attitude and started seeing our kids less.

On the other hand, the other set of grandparents is only involved when we call them up to invite them over and/or when we go to visit them as they go by the rules set by my SIL as to visiting with my kids and don't respect our rules with our kids as we do discipline our kids and tell them that certain things are wrong and you can't do it.

So we would love for one set to be less involved and pushy/bossy when it comes to raising our kids, and the other a little more involved as to actually telling our kids no when they are jumping off the beds and putting their fingers in electic outlets.

Re: grandparents involvement

Too involved.

Here's my scenario...

I am now divorced however since being married I (we) lived in an apartment in my parents 2 family home. My parents have seen DS everyday since he was born. They have a hand in helping raise him and he is so close with them I wouldn't trade it for the world! That being said sometimes I feel like they try to go over my head but DS is 2 so it's usually when I say no after his is being a bratty 2 year old they console him if he is crying which at times annoys me but it's what grandparents do.

My X-MIL barely sees DS and in no way is a loving grandmother. For his birthday she called at 8:30pm (DS normally goes to sleep at 8) to wish him a happy birthday. She never just calls to see how he is and doesn't go out of her way to see him even when DS is with my ex. It's nothing new to me anymore but at times it still infuriates me that she doesn't care either way about DS.

grandparents involvement

For the sake of my child, I'd rather them be too involved. I had the most amazing relationship with one of my grandmothers that I wouldnt trade for the world. Without going into details I was not close with my other grandmother due to too little involvement and it still hurts to this day.

Re: grandparents involvement

Re: grandparents involvement

For myself I rather them be less involved. However, for the sake of my children I rather have an over involved grandparent. As a parent, there is nothing than makes me happier than seeing that my child is loved by others. So, I would be willing to sacrifice my own feeling of annoyance so tat my kids can have a good relationship. I would hate for my child to feel unloved or neglected by a grandparent.

Thankfully, my mom and my inlaws are involved and adequate amount.

Re: grandparents involvement

Too involved, definitely. I'd rather be comfortable with leaving the kids with my parents/ILs than worry about having to deal with them screaming every few months because they don't know who their grandparents are. I already deal with that when my grandparents see the kids.

Re: grandparents involvement

I have one of each and even though my MIL can drive me nuts with her opinions/judgement sometimes, I wouldn't trade her for my extremely under-involved parents. I love that she loves him so much. It melts my heart to see the love they share and makes me sad to see what my own mother is missing out on.