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neener1211
:-)
Member since 4/07 22952 total posts
Name:
J
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DS and a ghost-need help
So for a couple of months now, DS has been falling asleep in our bed, and then when we go to bed, we transfer him to his room for the night. He usually wakes around 5 or 6 and then would come back in our room and go to sleep on our floor.
For the last 2 weeks, DS does not want to sleep in his room at all because he says, "There's a ghost in my room. I'm just playing pretend mommy." When I try to reassure him that there is not a ghost in his room, he insists there is. So, he's set up a little makeshift bed in DD's room on the floor and sleeps through the night with no problem.
Now, this started way before Halloween, so it's not that. When we question him on the ghost, he says it's a boy, and he's 5. He can't tell me what the boy looks like though. He also won't show me where the boy is in his room, but recently asked what the cross hanging up on his wall said (it's been there since he was born). I attempted to take ghost spray (febreeze) in his room to take out any ghosts, and he lost his mind crying saying he wanted the ghost to stay, but still doesn't want to sleep in his room.
I totally believe that children can see things that we can't, and honestly, there have been times where I've heard footsteps in my room or a shadow at night and thought it was DS, but he was sleeping. When DS was a baby, he used to stare at blank walls in our house and just smile. I know no one died in our house before we moved in, but we also lost our first DS 5 years ago this month. When I discussed it with my mother, she pretty much believes that our first DS has 'latched' on to our DS and only visits him in his room. DS is not scared to go into his room during the day or night, he just doesn't want to sleep in there.
Any suggestions on what we should do to get DS to sleep in his room? I haven't been forcing him because I obviously don't want him to be scared, so I'm hoping he'll just grow out of it. Is the best thing to let him continue to sleep on DD's floor for company? Both kids have been sleeping great at night, so no harm done, right? He's 4, so I know if he seeing a ghost, he doesn't fully know how to process it.
Maybe I just need the reassurance, I don't know.
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Posted 11/21/12 10:17 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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StaceyWill
It's a girl!!!
Member since 6/10 21539 total posts
Name:
Stacey
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DS and a ghost-need help
Reading this seriously gave me the chills. I am a believer and I am totally convinced that it is your sweet DS who is visiting his younger brother (so sorry for your loss, btw).
I would let him continue to sleep in the room with your DD. I am new to this whole “parent” thing, so I don’t know exactly how I would handle it. But, maybe you can try to explain that it’s his brother visiting him. So, at least he might not be afraid to sleep in his room.
That's tough for a 4-year old to swallow though, I know.
Best of luck to you!
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| Posted 11/21/12 10:29 AM |
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MrsPenthouse
LIF Adult
Member since 11/10 924 total posts
Name:
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Re: DS and a ghost-need help
My heart goes out to you and I send you lots of love! I also believe children can see things and it is possible and probable that your DS sees a ghost, possibly your son who passed (may he rest in peace).
If he's not afraid to be in his room during the day and both he and DD are sleeping well together in her room then there's no harm. Your little guy is still young and may not be able to process all of this yet. The great thing is that his sister gives him comfort and he is getting sleep that way, keep that up IMO.
Happy Thanksgiving to your family, wishing you the best.
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| Posted 11/21/12 10:31 AM |
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headoverheels
s'il vous plaît
Member since 6/07 42079 total posts
Name:
LB
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Re: DS and a ghost-need help
Posted by StaceyWill
Reading this seriously gave me the chills. I am a believer and I am totally convinced that it is your sweet DS who is visiting his younger brother (so sorry for your loss, btw).
I would let him continue to sleep in the room with your DD. I am new to this whole “parent” thing, so I don’t know exactly how I would handle it. But, maybe you can try to explain that it’s his brother visiting him. So, at least he might not be afraid to sleep in his room.
That's tough for a 4-year old to swallow though, I know.
Best of luck to you!
I agree that it could definitely be your son but I don't know if I'd tell B that - I don't think he's old enough to understand what happened. I think I would maybe start discussing the idea of spirits and ghosts with him and see what he thinks - he had a grandparent die fairly recently right? Does he remember that? Maybe tie that in.
I have the chills too, but in a good way. B has a guardian angel  
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| Posted 11/21/12 11:43 AM |
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neener1211
:-)
Member since 4/07 22952 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: DS and a ghost-need help
Yeah, he doesn't really understand that he has a sibling yet, he does see my bracelet and ask what each birthstone is for, but jut accepts it when I say it's your brother's. I don't explain anything further and he doesn't ask who is brother is. My FIL passed almost 3 yrs ago, so I don't think that is the issue.
I think he does have a guardian angel, but I still feel bad that the kid can't sleep in his own room. I even asked him if he wanted to switch rooms with DD, and he insisted that his room was his and we couldn't change it.
It's comforting and chilling at the same time.
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| Posted 11/21/12 11:51 AM |
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Pray4Baby2010
<3 Cutest Giants Fan
Member since 10/09 5796 total posts
Name:
MB
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Re: DS and a ghost-need help
omg I totally got chills reading this and that usually means that its true.
I dont know if this will work but maybe making the ghost into a friend and telling your son that he's his guardian angel and will not hurt him would help? Also try reading a book like casper the friendly ghost so he knows that ghosts can be not scary?
good luck
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| Posted 11/21/12 11:54 AM |
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Champ
2 little ladies
Member since 1/11 2918 total posts
Name:
Rose
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Re: DS and a ghost-need help
So sorry for your loss
I dont have any advice, but I will tell you that the other day my twins (12 months adjusted) were sitting in their high chairs facing me. At the same time both girls faces lit up and they started waving. I was home alone with them and the dogs were outside.
I would love to know who it was.
Message edited 11/21/2012 12:01:49 PM.
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| Posted 11/21/12 11:56 AM |
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JenandMikey
life is good =)
Member since 5/07 4216 total posts
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We're so blessed!
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Re: DS and a ghost-need help
Oh my goodness I have followed your story when you lost your sweet baby  and when I read this I really did think about if that sweet baby could be a possibility .... I totally believe in these things and I think it's amazing that your ds could have your first ds as a guardian angel ....the whole situation is so difficult for a child to grasp but I would ask what the ghost looks like what the ghost says and if the ghost scares him if he says no then I would ask why he doesn't want to sleep in there then maybe if he is still adamant about not sleeping in there I don't think there's anything wrong with him sleeping with his sister ...good luck
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| Posted 11/21/12 12:22 PM |
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Xelindrya
Mommy's little YouTube Star!
Member since 8/05 14470 total posts
Name:
Veronica
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DS and a ghost-need help
I believe.
Yes, I agree it could be his brother visiting and not realize he’s scaring him..
AJ had a ghost friend in NY and we were fine with it. I believe if we had one here, we’d invite it in. As long as it didn’t scare her. Now if she was doing the same as yours, I’d sleep in there with her one night to show her it’s safe. I’d ask what she fears “what do you think will happen? Why don’t you want to sleep here?” I would keep working with him. Talk to the ghost, about the ghost. I find it interesting (unless I read it wrong) that he asked what the cross said. I believe that we need to accept them, invite them in and deal with them as real visitors.
AJ speaks to my grandmother (a woman she’s never met). I envy her. Grandma never scares her but when we moved into this house she asked me two months later if it was Ok if Grandma could come in (we had ‘sealed’ the house already). Anything that makes her afraid I sternly speak to. NO ONE should ever make her afraid. There was a ‘boy in the window’ who scared her and that seriously ticked me off. I spoke to it very angrily to leave my child ALONE! I did not tolerate it. I also had AJ speak sternly to it. “it’s not nice to scare”. Then told AJ to ask Grandma to sit with her at night to keep the bad boy away. It stopped that night. She would occasionally get distracted then look over and say “leave me alone, I don’t like you” hoping it wasn’t grandma she was speaking to I’d ask but she would say it was the boy in the window making faces at her (god help me I hope not gruesome faces).
I believe enough that if it truly bothered him I’d consider switching rooms. But I think the ghost needs to be dealt with. It sounds like he’s not actually afraid but confused by it. Some may say children can’t understand the concept but I think they ‘get it’ better than we do because they are more open to the unbelievable than we are.
We Hispanics of American Indian descent believe in many things. My grandma was a ‘white witch’ and took care of us. Passed that onto me and my child (she knew I’d have a daughter before I ever met my husband and named her the successor). AJ knows things about family members before any of us do. She and I talk a lot about it. In our new home, we ‘blessed and sealed it’ with ash. The process isn’t long but it’s hard to describe. It’s not just ash it’s the intent, the belief and the conviction that makes it ‘work’. When it works it doesn’t keep ghosts away but more or less out and defines that no harm shall be done to those within from those who cannot not be. The tradeoff is we accept ‘them’ for what they are and live in harmony. It’s deep.
I wish you the best. Here in San Antonio, we can find a local Bruja to cleanse a home. Not sure you can find one up there.
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| Posted 11/21/12 12:33 PM |
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neener1211
:-)
Member since 4/07 22952 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: DS and a ghost-need help
Posted by Xelindrya
We bring the ghost up every day and ask him if he wants to sleep in his room. I've even slept in his room with him, and he'll sleep fine. But I obviously don't want to make that a habit either.
I did go in his room and talk to the ghost by myself. (Sorry if this seems crazy). I asked the ghost to please don't visit DS at night when he was sleeping because it was scaring him and he's a little boy too. I guess I'll have to wait till DS sleeps in his room to see if that works.
I do like your idea of having DS tell the ghost that it's not nice to scare. DS won't tell me details of what exactly is scaring him, just that 'we are playing pretend.' So it makes me believe that the ghost wants to play with DS at night, and it's just disrupting DS's sleep which is scaring him to be woken up to that. I do not hear DS talking at night or crying, so I'm not even sure when he's seeing the ghost.
The cross in the room says something like "little boys are made in heaven" which makes it all that much freakier!
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| Posted 11/21/12 12:43 PM |
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nycgirl
Angels!
Member since 3/09 7721 total posts
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Re: DS and a ghost-need help
I'm going to give the other viewpoint...
When people are waking up or sleepy... They can hallucinate. Kids even more so. It's the brain sleeping and dreaming while you are awake.
Dh recently did and saw a baby sleeping between us. He said it looked so real he wanted to touch it (he thought it was DD), but his hand went through her head.
I do believe in other things and have sensed when people died (visits in dreams when a dead family member was together with a living one and their dead dog)... But your son may just be still half dreaming. Let him share a room with the sister.
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| Posted 11/21/12 12:47 PM |
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neener1211
:-)
Member since 4/07 22952 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: DS and a ghost-need help
Posted by nycgirl
You're right, this might be it, I think he might be sleeping or sleepy. I would just love to know for sure.
We are definitely going to let him continue to stay in his sister's room. He's feels safe and happy that way.
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| Posted 11/21/12 12:51 PM |
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Xelindrya
Mommy's little YouTube Star!
Member since 8/05 14470 total posts
Name:
Veronica
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DS and a ghost-need help
on a side note.. i slept in my brother's room or bed up until nearly middle school! haha whenever I was scared or lonely. I totally love my big brother. He hated it.. He's 4yrs older than me. Now i get how annoying it must have been to have your little sister sneak in bed and take the blankets! LOL
But I have to say.. we are super close because I always felt 'safe' with him.
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| Posted 11/21/12 12:55 PM |
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DRMom
Two in Blue
Member since 5/05 20223 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: DS and a ghost-need help
Have you thought about setting up a video camera to see if something happens around 5-6AM?
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| Posted 11/21/12 1:02 PM |
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neener1211
:-)
Member since 4/07 22952 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: DS and a ghost-need help
Posted by DRMom
Have you thought about setting up a video camera to see if something happens around 5-6AM?
No I haven't...but now I'm going to!
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| Posted 11/21/12 1:04 PM |
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Tina1117
LIF Adult
Member since 11/07 1447 total posts
Name:
Tina
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Re: DS and a ghost-need help
We are dealing with the same thing. DS will be 4 on Dec 3. For some time now he has talked to me about the 'ghost' that is in my house. About 2 weeks ago I got home from work and he ran out of the house and said "Hi Mom I'm just playing with my friend". I said who's your friend and he said Salmon. I asked where he was and he told me that I can not see him. Then about 2 days later he asked if I could see his invisible friend that was sitting right there (next to me) and before I could say anything DS said he just ran in the other room (looking out into my kitchen).
Aside from all this he is always talking to someone. He does get scared of his room sometimes and cries that he doesn't want to sleep in there because of the ghost.
NOW I am one of those people who love mediums and believe in all that stuff. I have private readings at least twice a year and I get really into it. I have told my son that if there is EVER anyone around him that he does not want to be there to tell them to leave him alone and that they will listen to him.
He's always talking about his Papa (who passed away 7years ago). Obviously he never met him and he's quite on target with things he says about him. For instance out of nowhere DS was coloring at the table and said Mama you know that Papa can walk now. Well my FIL was paralyze prior to dying and my DS would not know that (and we don't talk about FIL because it upsets DH). So I encourage him to talk about my FIL.
I guess what you can do it tell DS that no ghost is ever aloud in his room/house without his permission. He is to tell them to leave him alone if he's ever uncomfortable. If your DS is comfortable with the ghost and he wants to talk to you about it then I say encourage it. It may be a phase and they'll grow out of it.
GL!
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| Posted 11/21/12 1:22 PM |
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sleepie76
enjoying every minute
Member since 12/07 3881 total posts
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Re: DS and a ghost-need help
Posted by DRMom
Have you thought about setting up a video camera to see if something happens around 5-6AM?
absolutely do this!!!!!
I believe anything is possible. I believe children are more open.
I wouldnt push it, dont bring it up or add to it. If he brings it up...fine.
Let him sleep in his sister's room. Ride it out.
DD was saying there was a ghost in her room for a couple weeks. I was freaked, but it passed. It was all her imagine.
But sounds like you could possibly have something there.
Report back after the video :)
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| Posted 11/21/12 1:44 PM |
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ThreeforTea
Girls just want to have fun..
Member since 5/12 7482 total posts
Name:
Mama
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Re: DS and a ghost-need help
Posted by sleepie76
Posted by DRMom
Have you thought about setting up a video camera to see if something happens around 5-6AM?
absolutely do this!!!!!
I believe anything is possible. I believe children are more open.
I wouldnt push it, dont bring it up or add to it. If he brings it up...fine.
Let him sleep in his sister's room. Ride it out.
DD was saying there was a ghost in her room for a couple weeks. I was freaked, but it passed. It was all her imagine.
But sounds like you could possibly have something there.
Report back after the video :)
I agree with this!!
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| Posted 11/21/12 1:46 PM |
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neener1211
:-)
Member since 4/07 22952 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: DS and a ghost-need help
Posted by Tina1117
ty for this
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| Posted 11/21/12 1:51 PM |
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neener1211
:-)
Member since 4/07 22952 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: DS and a ghost-need help
Posted by sleepie76
Report back after the video :)
I will.
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| Posted 11/21/12 1:51 PM |
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tmarie
LIF Infant
Member since 12/08 260 total posts
Name:
Tara
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Re: DS and a ghost-need help
OMG I am freaked out! I believe children can see spirits and I believe this is your son.
I am so sorry for your loss!
I am a sucker with these kids and I would probably let him sleep whereever he wants. But I feel bad he is sleeping on the floor. Is there anyway to set up a real bed temporarily for him. I know there are a lot of people who would say this is crazy and you are only feeding the situation, but I believe what he feels is real, whether he is seeing a spirit of his brother or he is imagining it.
Good luck.
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| Posted 11/21/12 2:11 PM |
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neener1211
:-)
Member since 4/07 22952 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: DS and a ghost-need help
Posted by tmarie
OMG I am freaked out! I believe children can see spirits and I believe this is your son.
I am so sorry for your loss!
I am a sucker with these kids and I would probably let him sleep whereever he wants. But I feel bad he is sleeping on the floor. Is there anyway to set up a real bed temporarily for him. I know there are a lot of people who would say this is crazy and you are only feeding the situation, but I believe what he feels is real, whether he is seeing a spirit of his brother or he is imagining it.
Good luck.
He's got a nice cushion of blankets on the floor and his pillow-so he's quite comfy. Some nights he asks DD if he can hold her hand through her crib slats.
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| Posted 11/21/12 2:16 PM |
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ThreeforTea
Girls just want to have fun..
Member since 5/12 7482 total posts
Name:
Mama
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Re: DS and a ghost-need help
Posted by neener1211
Posted by tmarie
OMG I am freaked out! I believe children can see spirits and I believe this is your son.
I am so sorry for your loss!
I am a sucker with these kids and I would probably let him sleep whereever he wants. But I feel bad he is sleeping on the floor. Is there anyway to set up a real bed temporarily for him. I know there are a lot of people who would say this is crazy and you are only feeding the situation, but I believe what he feels is real, whether he is seeing a spirit of his brother or he is imagining it.
Good luck.
Some nights he asks DD if he can hold her hand through her crib slats.
aww soo cute! that just melts my heart!
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| Posted 11/21/12 2:17 PM |
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butterfly20
Party of 5 - 2015
Member since 4/06 7390 total posts
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Re: DS and a ghost-need help
Posted by DRMom
Have you thought about setting up a video camera to see if something happens around 5-6AM?
\\ I thought they usually came out around 2 or 3 am
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| Posted 11/21/12 3:27 PM |
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CallaLily
Thank you, Saint Gerard!
Member since 10/07 4937 total posts
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Re: DS and a ghost-need help
I have no advice but your story gave me the chills. I remember your story about your first sweet DS and I am so sorry for your loss. What a wonderful thought that your first DS is visiting his brother!
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| Posted 11/21/12 4:42 PM |
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