"Age-Appropriateness"

We use this term all the time when it comes to teaching our children about life matters but I find myself struggling with figuring out what's age appropriate for things like stranger safety and where babies come from. I'm like a deer in headlights when DC asks me certain questions and I do my best but I'm still quite vague.

I don't want to scare my child but I also don't want them to be naive about things either.

Is there some sort of age guildine somewhere I'm j/k bc I know it's based on the child but seriously....how do you know? I think when the kid is out on the streets alone it's too late, so do you tell a 5 year old about all the terrible things people do to kids? Also, especially with sex, I want my kids to learn about alllll of that from ME. I feel like I knew about it when I was probably 8-9 and I have NO clue how I learned. So that leads me to think around 6-7 i should start answering questions with a little more detail but that seems so young to me KWIM?

Thoughts?

Re: "Age-Appropriateness"

For me personally, I think it's never too soon to start talking about the things you mentioned. Lucky for me my dad watches DS so he is never with someone who isn't a family member. However if he was in day care or when he starts preschool or even younger like nursery school I plan on telling him that no one is allowed to pick you up from school other than (insert people who are allowed). And I plan on starting very soon, DS will be 2 in a couple of months, that no one should be taking off your clothes and diaper expect for (insert people who are allowed). I am a worry wart. I feel like if you keep saying it without adding all the "there are people out there that might steal you, hurt you etc" while they are young it won't scare them as much.

Re: "Age-Appropriateness"

I think it is ok at age 3.5 or 4 to explain stranger danger when the issue arises. I've told DS not to walk away from me in stores and when he asks why, I explain that I don't want anyone to take him because I love him very much. I think it's ok to instill a little fear in them at this age because they do remember. DS understands that he has to stay with one of us or someone might take him-and he doesn't want that.

As for sex-ed, DS just knows that we get babies from the castle. He thinks St. Charles looks like a castle, and that people get babies from there. He tells DD that she's a princess because we got her from the castle.

I think I knew how babies were made around 10, at least that's the first I can remember. I don't think you have to go into such specific details at a young age. It also might help you to ask them "How do YOU think babies get in a mommy's belly." The answer might be quite innocent and you can roll with that for a while.

Re: "Age-Appropriateness"

I am probably in the minority here, but I'm going to throw my opinion in, for what it's worth. I've posted it here before.

My 11 year old DS knows all about male and female puberty, the mechanics of sex, we've also discussed the emotional side, readiness, etc. He knows all about birth control and condoms. We are very open with him... when he asks a question we answer it openly, honestly, and don't dodge or get embarrassed.

My 6 year old DD knows about female puberty and a little bit about male puberty. She knows ALL about the birth process, but she hasn't yet asked about sex. I will answer her honestly when she does.

I never understood people who treated anything relating to the body with secretiveness or shame. My kids deserve to know what their bodies will do and what they are capable of. So many of my DS's friend's parents are stressing about "THE TALK." I couldn't imagine everything about puberty and sexuality being thrown at kids during one intense TALK. That's so strange to me. I think the best gift you can give your kids is to be open and honest with them regarding this stuff, and make it an open dialogue. Why would they want to come to you with their concerns, otherwise?

As far as the stranger stuff, I don't see that as something that falls into the category of age appropriate. I always told them that there are bad people who like to hurt kids. You don't know who these people are, and that's why we don't talk to or go with strangers. Very matter of fact.

Good luck!

Re: "Age-Appropriateness"

With my children, we began discussing stranger danger and touching as soon as they were able to grasp the simplest understanding of it. Maybe 2ish. We discussed how to NEVER leave with ANYONE, we practice role playing (still do years later to keep it fresh) on different stranger danger scenarios. We discussed at a very young age what to do if you get separated from mommy (find another mommy with kids and tell her you are lost). When oldest DC asked about babies, I gave him the cliff notes, but honest version, around 4 years old. When they ask about sex or where babies come from, I will answer them honestly and tailor my response based on their age.