talk to me about your sons bris please (vent included, sorry!)

I am due in 6 weeks and have to start thinking about it. We have a small condo, and really just want only immediate family. It will be tight even with that. I would love a couple of close friends, but once you start, it opens a can of worms.

Can you please share your bris experience with me?

I'm petrified of this. I had a C section with DD and will likely have one with DS. So, I'll be home for 4 days and then have to to this???!!!! Girls are so much easier!

I am toying with the possibility of doing it at the temple, but that will be $$$. I think FIL will help and we can afford it, but its all about the fact that I don't want a big party. I want to take care of my DS and make sure he's comfortable.

I want to take care of myself and DD too. I really don't want to entertain people.

Please tell me how you handled it. TIA and thanks for letting me vent

Re: talk to me about your sons bris please (vent included, sorry!)

Can you have it at a grandparents house? Would any other family member help you organize/plan it so you can get your rest after the C Section?

Re: talk to me about your sons bris please (vent included, sorry!)

DS was in NICU for 5 days after birth for shallow breathing. The last thing I wanted to do after a difficult birth was host, regardless of how small it was. I had DS circumcised in the hospital and had a naming at a later time. I know a few people that had DS circumcised in the hospital and just a naming on the 8th Day even if there were no complications. It depends on how observant you are, families preferences, etc.

If you choose to have a traditional bris, there is nothing wrong with limiting it to immediate family. Most of the time the baby and the mother are only there for the actual ceremony anyway and leave for the reception.

Re: talk to me about your sons bris please (vent included, sorry!)

Re: talk to me about your sons bris please (vent included, sorry!)

We had DS's bris at a local temple. I did almost nothing to plan it, my DH and parents did all of the planning and it was still so unbelievably stressful to me (I have a hard time ceding control). We had A LOT of people there, our families were crazy about it and made it very hard on us to do it on a smaller scale. My DS was in the NICU for 10 days after birth so he was more than two weeks old when we did it. I was so spent from the NICU experience and my C-Section that DS and I stayed for about a half hour after the ceremony and then I took him home. He had no clue, he just slept the whole time after, but it was so much for me.

All that said, I was so glad not to have it in my house, because it was easier for me to leave the temple than it was for me to kick people out of my house!

Good luck, and unlike myself, try not to be pressured into something that you don't want. I barely even remember it and DS certainly does not. It was essentially an opportunity for our parents to show off their grandson.

Re: talk to me about your sons bris please (vent included, sorry!)

We did it at home because I didn't want to be the one "inconveinenced" Luckily the bris fell on a Wednesday so since it was the middle of the week and at 10am, I knew it was only going to be immediate family and everyone still had to go to work.

Everyone came, some people did stay for a while, but I just excused myself and went to my room. I also had my DD who was 18 months old at the time.

One thing I will recommend, and it will be beyond helpful is that you can hire a baby nurse for just the day of the bris. She will take care of the baby and whisk him away after the ceremony. Alot of people do this. We had a baby nurse for the first few weeks, (I also had a c/s with DS), but I know of alot of families that hire one just for the day of the bris.

My baby nurse also helped with the set up and clean up after as well.

Re: talk to me about your sons bris please (vent included, sorry!)

We did it at home. It fell out on a Tuesday and even though we invited a lot of people, half of them came and took off from work. We catered in bagels and stuff like that. I still wasn't feeling 100% so at one point I went into my bedroom for a little. Some people stayed after the bris but most people left shortly after. Family helped us set up and clean up.

talk to me about your sons bris please (vent included, sorry!)

I had one at home and one in a temple. The one at home was in a small apt and it was tight. I spent most of the time in my room with the baby especially because there where too many people around for a newborn. Everyone understood (I also had a very difficult delivery and was in a ton of pain). Basically people came in to see us in small groups (in my room). I brought my ds out for the circumcision part but other than that he was with me in my room. The temple was nice but I felt like I had nowhere to "retreat" lol. So I felt like I had to entertain more. Good luck on your decision and remember its only one day and I agree with you..its a very special tradition :)

ETA: My mom and MIL basically ran the party for me as I was in the bedroom most of the time.

Message edited 9/15/2012 8:57:34 AM.

Re: talk to me about your sons bris please (vent included, sorry!)

We had it at home with both boys. With DS1, we had moved into our house 5 days before I was induced. The bris was also during a snowstorm. It was crazy. We mostly had family come. We also live about 2.5 hours away from most of our family and friends.

With DS2, it was during the week. We had family and some friends come probably no more than 20 people.

I was very emotional both times and was not in the room for the actual ceremony.

ETA: My parents were very helpful with setting up and cleaning up everything. I was still trying to recover from the c-section and focused on taking care of the baby.

Message edited 9/15/2012 9:31:10 AM.

talk to me about your sons bris please (vent included, sorry!)

Not only did I have a c-section, but I was also team green, so I didn't even know I was having a boy! And we have a small condo...

We had immediately family only, mostly. I'm Jewish, DH is Catholic. I'm close with my moms side of the family (the "Jewish" side), and my uncle hooked me up with the moyhel. So we invited our parents, grandparents, and siblings. Then I also invited my aunt and uncle, and their families. No friends. It was at 9am, so we had bagels, CC, lox, fruit and sweets. I sent DH to the food store the night before with a detailed list, and placed an order at the bagel place. Done. I def stressed, and took my oxycodone as ordered... It was fine.

Re: talk to me about your sons bris please (vent included, sorry!)

My DS's bris was at my in laws house. I didn't have to cook or clean or even really entertain. It was much easier than the naming we had at our home when DD was 11 weeks old where I had to do everything, and then clean up after people left.

Re: talk to me about your sons bris please (vent included, sorry!)

thank you everyone for sharing your stories with me. I still haven't decided what to do do, but I'm kind of leaning towards the temple. I just don't want everyone in my house staying all day!