What do you think of this idea - new baby gift

My cousin is having her second DS with her boyfriend next week. Her first DS will be 3 next month.
The boyfriend has 2 DC from a previous marriage - the DS is 18 and and the DD is 10. Their mother is deceased for almost 7 years.
My cousin had a huge shower for her first DS. Swore up and down that she was not going to have any other kids since she takes care of all 3 at this point. She gave away all of her stuff and lo and behold she is pg again. So my aunt throws her another shower (yes flame away because I will agree) albeit in the house and on a much smaller scale. Only because my cousin threw out her stuff and had nothing!
Anyway I am just trying to paint a clear picture of the situation - this is all not necessarily relevant to my real question haha
I was wondering if it would be appropriate to bring her (step) DD a gift to the hospital INSTEAD of for the new baby. For a few reasons...
I feel bad saying that I have bought "enough" for the new baby - I did buy the exersaucer for the shower, and true he should be celebrated too.
BUT the DD is an AMAZING 10 year old girl. She had her mom die when she was a baby - was thrust into a new family. She is the most wonderful little helper. A true GEM beyond words. She even helps me with my 19 month old twins for hours - changes and helps feed them, entertains them, and just is overall one of the most helpful people ever despite her age! She really wanted a little sister and she is getting her 3rd brother and I want to do something special for her.

Do you think it would be entirely inappropriate to buy something JUST for her in the hospital and not the new baby at all?

What do you think of this idea - new baby gift

I don't think it would be inappropriate to buy something for the 10 year old, in fact I think that is super nice of you, I wouldn't give it to her at the hospital though especially if you don't want to bring something for the baby. I personally would get something small for the new baby, an outfit maybe, even though you bought her something for the shower.

Re: What do you think of this idea - new baby gift

In my opinion, I think it would be funny to show up with a gift for the DD & not the new baby.
I would give it to her another time because it does sound like she deserves something special, that is really nice of you to get her a gift.

Re: What do you think of this idea - new baby gift

I would get her a gift, but I would show up to the hospital with one onesie for the new baby. Or if the 10 yo is at your house give it to her then.

eta: when I had DD someone gave us a gift for my older DS and nothing for my DD. She said she was not good with new babies so she went for giving my son a present. To me that was odd. She had not given DS a present when he was born and the gift she gave was for a 5 year old (DS was 2).

Message edited 7/25/2012 10:16:27 PM.

Re: What do you think of this idea - new baby gift

No.... I don't think you can choose one child to give a gift to in a family with three other kids besides the baby.

If you can only give a gift, it should be for the new mom or the baby no matter the backstory.

What do you think of this idea - new baby gift

wouldn't seem right just for the older girl.......
at least get a token $10 gift for the baby- a stuffed animal or pack of onsies

Re: What do you think of this idea - new baby gift

Thanks ladies. After seeing it in print I realize that it is obviously necessary to get the new baby something in the hospital. I can get the DD something eventually as well.