opinons please re: name for dd & MIL

Ok so BEFORE i dare bring this up to dh, i want opinions from my LIF ladies. Bc im 99.9% sure this is going to be either an issue between dh & i OR a fight betwern dh & his mother.
so monday we found out we are having a dd. When dh told his parents, they asked him if we had any ideas for names and dh told them our #1 - aubree rose. Its not 100% but pretty close. Though, we will see after this
we chose rose bc thats dh's grandmothers name (MIL's mom) and she is a big part of our lives as she lives with his parents and he is very close with her. I dont particularly like the name rose - i name-associate it with something very hurtful from my childhood BUT i was ok with it being a middle name for sentimental reasons.
So today MIL informs me that she has decided that SHE will be referring to dd as "rosie" bc she just loves that name for a girl and dd will not know herself as aubree in their house. I was just kind of like "um well we are naming her aubree for a reason and that will be her name" - trying to get my point across nicely. Her response was "well not in this house".
I just let it go, as dh and i were headed out for vacation and im not trying to have this be an issue right now, but its going to have to get brought up at some point bc i am NOT ok with this, not even a little bit.
I mean, we are her parents and choosing her name for a reason - i feel like she's stepping over a line and being disrespectful of our choice for our child. What do you think? Am i being too sensitive? Wwyd, how would you handle this?

Re: opinons please re: name for dd & MIL

I hate when people pull this crap. You should tell her that you will only refer to her as jackass because that's the name you love for her. You are not being overly sensitive and if my mil seriously said and meant this, dh or I would be raising holy hell. If she loves the name Rosie so much she should have named her kid (or pet if she does not have a dd) that!

Re: opinons please re: name for dd & MIL

Oh hellz no! I would be scrapping Rose for a middle name. That is beyond rude! She's going to decide what she wants to call your DD and basically change her name? That would not fly with me. I really hope she was joking.

Re: opinons please re: name for dd & MIL

In no way do I think you're being overly sensitive. It sounds to me like she almost wants to push your buttons. I'm not sure what type of relationship you have with her, but sounds like she's letting you know, in a not so subtle way, that she does not approve of Aubree (very pretty, btw). I would have dh handle this one, though. He needs to be firm and say this is her name and she will be called by no other.

Good luck!

Re: opinons please re: name for dd & MIL

I would def be irritated as well! I would try to bring up the conversation again in the future just letting you know how important it is to you both for your DD to be called by her first name.

Re: opinons please re: name for dd & MIL

She s definitely crossing a line in my opinion....this is the reason I only post on her that we're most likely choosing Kylie rose as our little Name because i don't want to hear others opinions....if I was you and set on aubree for a first name and your not to fond of rose anyway I would pick another middle name so she won't be called Rosie

P.s. have fun in nashville and don't let this ruin your trip

Re: opinons please re: name for dd & MIL

Yikes

What a tough situation.

I would not be able to handle your MIL. Not one bit. I would certainly have your DH talk to her and say that you two are not okay/comfortable with her giving your DD the nickname rosie and that you are naming her Aubree and expect her to be called Aubree. It sounds like you are okay with changing her middle name, but is DH? Maybe if the name Rose isn't used, it wouldn't make sense for MIL to nickname her rosie. I also wouldn't want to compromise the name just because MIL is being annoying. So really, I would not change the name but I would not let DD over MIL's house alone, and if MIL says Rosie you have to keep correcting her or have DH say that it is disrespectful and if she keeps doing it, you will not bring DD over to her house anymore.

Re: opinons please re: name for dd & MIL

This is such BS. Honestly. I'd tell her that since it's YOU and your DH who made the baby, it's YOU and your DH who get to name the baby. AND the name you choose is the name she'll be called. Period. End of story. Amen.

UGH!!!

Re: opinons please re: name for dd & MIL

Re: opinons please re: name for dd & MIL

MIL is def crossing boundaries

I would tell DH about the convo and have him speak to her about being called by the first name...this is not her child she has no say in it.

thanks for re-confirming that we should NOT be sharing our names with anyone until the baby is born

Re: opinons please re: name for dd & MIL

I would not be okay with this because of the way MIL is going about it. It's not about the nickname Rosie, I guess you could see it as just a nickname, like if they decided to call her pumpkin or sunshine all the time, that would be fin. But it's the nerve she has to basically inform you that she's renaming your child... that would have me ready to battle.

If it were me, I'd tell her directly, "That's not my child's name, her name is Aubree, and if you want her to respond to you, that's what you'll call her. And please don't disrespect us as parents by assuming it's okay to rename our child to suit your wants. I find it highly offensive."

Someone needs to set this woman straight! Is she usually this selfish?

Re: opinons please re: name for dd & MIL

that's awful. you are not being overly sensitive. have your DH talk to her. i would seriously consider changing the middle name if she was going to pull that crap

Re: opinons please re: name for dd & MIL

What nerve! Ugh, I am so frustrated for you!

It's a tough situation, unlike your MIL, you don't want to be rude to her but you need to let her know that you do not want her to call your DD Rosie. I would talk it over with your DH and tell him what his Mom said and ask him to tell her how you both feel about it. Should she mention it again, you can very nicely tell her that you're not calling DD by any nick names (unless you are then tell her what it is) and want everyone to call her by her name - Aubree.

We are considering a name which we don't like any of the usual nicknames and will have to remind everyone that we want to use the full name not a nick name.

Good luck and sorry you even need to think about this!

Re: opinons please re: name for dd & MIL

For me personally I don't think this would be a battle I would be willing to fight.

Her friends, classmates, coworkers, family members, Social Security will all know her as Aubree. Heck even your DD will know her name as Aubree too. In a couple of years Aubree will be telling grandma "Grandma my name is Aubree!"

I would just let it go. Maybe I'm not as sensitive about this because my family is off the boat and pretty much butcher/change anyone's name they can't pronounce. (ex: Hi my name is Meredith . .. what Marith?? No Meredith. . .OK I call you Maria. . . sure why not.)

Re: opinons please re: name for dd & MIL

i hate when i hear this
i think you should have dh take care of it. i dont think you should change the name. you want it for a reason but helloooooooooo she has a first name. is it really that hard to use it

i had a small problem with my ils not really liking the name we picked for our dd. dh took take care of it and for some strange reason they love the name

good luck

Re: opinons please re: name for dd & MIL

Reading that made me so angry for you!!!! That is NOT okay and you are not being too sensitive at all.

I think it's all going to come down to what DH has to say about it... hopefully he backs you up and then he can be the one to have the conversation with MIL about it.

Re: opinons please re: name for dd & MIL

Re: opinons please re: name for dd & MIL

Wow. Absolutely no way would that fly with me. Talk about confusing the poor kid! Who do these people think they are??

Re: opinons please re: name for dd & MIL

DH's parents i guess were not happy with the name we choose for DD and they were suggesting other ones, I didnt say anything but DH saw the annoyance in my face and he told his parents to stop and that her name was X and we're not changing it.

I think with this battle maybe your DH should say something to his mom and hopefully defuse the situation.

I would definitely be upset

Re: opinons please re: name for dd & MIL

this sounds like it is her way of saying she doesn't like the name Aubree, but too bad for her if she doesn't!!! She doesn't have a say in the first name, YOU the parents do! If I were you I'd change the middle name choice, I would NOT be okay with anyone calling our LO anything other than their first name (or a nickname derived from the first name). If your MIL is anything like my mom, she's probably stubborn and she is serious about only referring to her as Rosie. FYI, my dad chose my first name (after his sister Helen) and to this DAY my mom only calls me by my middle name- Marcy (she wanted to name me Marcy Christina and swore to my father she'd never call me Helen)....so I grew up with 2 names in my household lol (and my grandma would call me Helen Marcy to appease both sides). Change the middle name or you'll be dealing with MIL's stubbornness the same way I've dealt with my mom's stubbornness my whole life.....I remember kids coming over to play when I was little and asking "who's Marcy??? do you have another sister?" um no, that's my alter ego Good luck with your decision, it's not easy after you already felt set on a name to have someone come in with their opinions and ruin it!

Re: opinons please re: name for dd & MIL

Thank you for all your replies and reminding me im not the crazy one
to answer your questions, no she was not kidding and yes, shes always like this... not rude persay but forceful and overbearing for sure.
Dh just brought it up and he said his mom said it to him when he originally told her the name, so he knew it was going to be an issue. He doesnt want to change the name but is aware he will have to deal with her about it. Its not going to be pretty.
part of me wishes we didnt tell anyone the name, like a few of you had mentioned but the other part is happy to get this out of the way now, if this is how shes going to act. Bc to me, she will see the light or we will change the name.
Ugh wtf is wrong with people

Re: opinons please re: name for dd & MIL

She sounds awful. I would not use Rose for the middle name, especially since you aren't thrilled with it anyway.

Re: opinons please re: name for dd & MIL

my response? "i guess you won't be seeing much of AUBREE in your house!"

Re: opinons please re: name for dd & MIL

Posted by maymama

my response? "i guess you won't be seeing much of AUBREE in your house!"

Re: opinons please re: name for dd & MIL

Posted by MrsKelly

Thank you for all your replies and reminding me im not the crazy one
to answer your questions, no she was not kidding and yes, shes always like this... not rude persay but forceful and overbearing for sure.
Dh just brought it up and he said his mom said it to him when he originally told her the name, so he knew it was going to be an issue. He doesnt want to change the name but is aware he will have to deal with her about it. Its not going to be pretty.
part of me wishes we didnt tell anyone the name, like a few of you had mentioned but the other part is happy to get this out of the way now, if this is how shes going to act. Bc to me, she will see the light or we will change the name.
Ugh wtf is wrong with people