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DH Question

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BaysideForever
LIF Adult

Member since 1/11

9976 total posts

Name:

DH Question

Does anyone feel that in some aspects their DH became harder on them since they've gotten pregnant?

I feel like my DH never gives me a break, and I very rarely try to use the "well im pregnant card" but the handful of times I've tried, it never even works. He'll still fight with me, make me stressed out, have high expectations, etc...

Normally I can deal with him. But considering I just entered into my 3rd trimester today... I cannot stand him!!! Chat Icon

Posted 5/25/12 9:46 PM
 
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HelenZ
So worth the wait :)

Member since 10/07

2862 total posts

Name:
Helen

Re: DH Question

I have been "milking it" as much as I can, and so far DH has been supportive, although sometimes he tells me "you're pushing it pal" Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon hey making a baby is hard work!

How has DH been harder on you? Like w/ housework you mean? or diet? DH has busted my chops occasionally about what I eat (like tonight he's not home and I had macaroni & cheese and he told me that wasn't healthy enough lol).

Posted 5/25/12 10:40 PM
 

gina409
TWINS!

Member since 12/09

27635 total posts

Name:
g

Re: DH Question

does he even know he is doing it? i mean have u talked to him about itChat Icon

Posted 5/25/12 11:08 PM
 

BaysideForever
LIF Adult

Member since 1/11

9976 total posts

Name:

Re: DH Question

Posted by HelenZ

I have been "milking it" as much as I can, and so far DH has been supportive, although sometimes he tells me "you're pushing it pal" Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon hey making a baby is hard work!

How has DH been harder on you? Like w/ housework you mean? or diet? DH has busted my chops occasionally about what I eat (like tonight he's not home and I had macaroni & cheese and he told me that wasn't healthy enough lol).



He's been harder on me in the sense that he still needs 120% emotional support at all times, even when I can barely focus on myself. He is harder about housework (laundry gets done less often, sometimes i ask if we can go out to eat instead of me cooking). but mostly, it is just him being selfish- i feel like i have to put him first before me and the baby.

Posted 5/25/12 11:24 PM
 

BaysideForever
LIF Adult

Member since 1/11

9976 total posts

Name:

Re: DH Question

Posted by gina409

does he even know he is doing it? i mean have u talked to him about itChat Icon



yes he knows. when i say im pregnant or im feeling out of control right now or i need to just relax stop stressing me out... it's always "pregnancy is not an excuse" or something like that... or "you're hurting the baby by getting stressed out" but not involving his own actions. hes a big boy- he is fully aware when he yells at me or is making me cry (and it seems like lately he just doesn't care).

Posted 5/25/12 11:26 PM
 

readyornot2
LIF Adolescent

Member since 11/11

712 total posts

Name:
Me

Re: DH Question

Just because we are changing, they are not.

Not to excuse inconsiderate behavior, but they just really can't possibly "get it". My DH is not super sympathetic as it is so I do not expect him to be just because I am pregnant. He is a little more understanding and considerate, but I don't get doted over.

Just be clear about what you feel and what YOUR needs are. Hopefully he'll start to see the light Chat Icon

Posted 5/26/12 7:19 AM
 

readyornot2
LIF Adolescent

Member since 11/11

712 total posts

Name:
Me

Re: DH Question

Posted by BaysideForever


he is fully aware when he yells at me or is making me cry (and it seems like lately he just doesn't care).



I just saw this. Not cool. No one should get "yelled at". Try to disengage completely when this stuff statrs happening. It is not good for you or the baby. Chat Icon

Posted 5/26/12 7:21 AM
 

MrsKelly
just hangin' around...

Member since 11/06

6305 total posts

Name:
Krista

Re: DH Question

Not harder on me, but definitely not easier AT ALL. It'd be nice if he'd cut me a break once in a while. I understandChat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 5/26/12 8:16 AM
 

springsandra
Baby girl has a baby brother!

Member since 11/09

7155 total posts

Name:
Sandra

Re: DH Question

First pg, DH was great. This time, he admitted the other day it's just now (at 20 weeks!) hitting him that I'm really pg again. So he has been tough on me, calling me lazy and expecting me to step up as much as always with DD. but now that he realizes I'm actually carrying our second child, it has gotten better. He's getting up with her more, letting me sleep, carrying her more, and helping around the house.

You'd think 15 weeks of throwing up would've convinced him I was not just lazy sooner, but sometimes men need time to wrap their heads around things, just like all of us.

Can you take him to an OB appointment with you and address your ailments and limitations with the OB in front of him? Then he can hear from the doc first-hand why you need to be cut a lot of slack.

Pregnancy and babies put a lot of strain on a marriage so it's a good idea to fix this rather than just hope it goes away. Remind him that your body is working hard to build a family for you both and how it does that and the way you feel while it's happening are beyond your control. Assure him that eventually you'll be yourself again but with a reward for the tough months until then.

Posted 5/26/12 8:50 AM
 

StaceyWill
It's a girl!!!

Member since 6/10

21539 total posts

Name:
Stacey

Re: DH Question

We argued quite a bit during my pregnancy. It was usually about us not having sex and him feeling neglected, like I wasn't attracted to him anymore. I tried to explain to him how much pain I was in and how uncomfortable I was (I had vicious groin pain), but he never really "got it". Some men are just clueless.

Posted 5/26/12 11:06 AM
 

wo0shply
LIF Adult

Member since 11/08

2702 total posts

Name:
Tass

Re: DH Question

Sometimes I think DH forgets that I'm pregnant and I have to remind him that I need to walk slower or eat more often not because I'm being a fat pig but because Baby is making me hungry and I will get nauseous and headaches.

When I do remind him, he gets hard on himself.

Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 5/27/12 9:09 AM
 
 

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